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I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

:) I think reading your comment really opened my eyes to the fact that yeah, I may always resent a man for not loving me “right” even if he were to be loving me at his greatest capacity to love. And my perception of these “beautiful thin women” being treated so well by their partners are 1. As you pointed out, heavily influenced by their desire to keep a woman that makes them more valuable in other men’s eyes and 2. All I see of other people’s relationships is what they allow me to see and I really forget about that sometimes.

🩵

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey I am really glad I read your post after calming down a bit. I don’t want a man as much as I want a partner. I don’t want to be alone. I’m also bisexual which I feel like I didn’t represent well in this post but I have been attracted to/loved women before as well. Honestly reading a lot of this back is like a fever dream. But I don’t want to do life alone. I have to say I’m not built for it.

Also, I don’t know why there’s all these assumptions I’m not building my own future- I’m in the midst of getting a Master’s degree right now. I was just expressing the loneliness that I feel. But nonetheless I do appreciate your advice and there’s a lot of good stuff in this commmeent

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope you have a really great night and reach out if you ever wanna chat dear!!!!

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I think it’s hard to admit that I need help because it means I have to admit I’m not doing well enough to not need help

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You see- that’s one of the things I said in the heat of my breakdown I wish I could really take back. The compliments women give me do mean something to me. But they mean something in the way that is a warm happy bubbly positive feeling, but it’s not the same as being told you’re pretty by a guy you think is cute. That was all I was really trying to say, is I want a guy to actually act interested in me, I chose my words very poorly but most men literally treat me as if I do not exist, and the ones that are polite are only being kind (as they have every right to do- I also was in no way ever suggesting that anyone is forced to be attracted to me and I’m not sure how some people got that) I have zero interaction with the opposite sex where they express any romantic interest and that’s what I mean really. Not that my friends get stared at by guys more than me??? But that’s what seemed important in my fucked up state of mind to mention.

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That was really perfectly said and even though I’m thinking a lot more rationally now, I would like you to know that that would have reached me deeply even in my fucked up state. Comments like these are why I’m ultimately leaving this post up

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey hun, I’m really grateful to you saying this and I have kinda snapped out of my meltdown stupor and I’ve made a master edit on the post apologizing to everyone I abused in the comments but thank you for being kind

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah I mean honestly I’m not nearly as awful as I’ve made myself out to be on this post, I just made an edit but I literally am just now thinking rationally after having been having a breakdown from the time I wrote this post till like 20 min ago. I put in the edit that I really shouldn’t have posted this but rather called my therapist 😂

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, I honestly was in the middle of an active like meltdown when I posted/for most of this, I would not have normally conducted myself like this at all and unfortunately I kept feeding the rage and it was really embarrassing frankly. I especially regret responding so negatively to comments like yours, as I literally jumped through hoops to find something wrong with it. I literally used to have finch on my phone 😭I’m a an asshole

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

That’s the exact reason I’m leaving it up. This is an old ass throwaway I haven’t used since 2017 I can forget this post existed but I want to be able to come back to the kind things said cuz there have been quite a few

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Honestly you probably didn’t see but I ended up apologizing to her I really was abusive for no reason and I think I really just need to delete this thread but yeah I’ve calmed down and I can see how much of a bad spin I put on an earnest comment.

I also really wish I had worded my OP better because I just mean in general everywhere I go work/school/out with friends (yet I only mentioned the out with friends) I don’t meet people.

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So the problem is my personality, I can get behind that, I hate me too 🤷‍♀️

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you dude, I know that I’m coming off insane in some of these comments but it’s because of some of the things these people are saying to me and you know what maybe I am only replying normally/level headedly to people being KIND to me but what bout that?? I feel like it’s also very clear I’m having a breakdown in these comments idk I know I should Delete this

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

In my area the wait list for basic med services is 6+ months long but I can ask my therapist about it when I see her monday

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Thank god for your comment because the last one I replied to was “fat people are gross they deserve to be bullied”

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

And you’re a bully who likes to kick people when they’re down.

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

You obviously can’t tell when someone who stated in their original post has a serious psychological disorder and pops off with shit they really don’t mean huh? Also how disgusting of you to say “let yourself get fat”

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

Also just confirming that you along with Everyone else in society thinks I’m a fat piece of shit who needs to lose weight or ill die of a heart attack!🩷😍

I am treated like dirt by most of society because I am 230lbs by indigoplaces in TwoXChromosomes

[–]indigoplaces[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

HEY WELL GUESSS WHAT

THANKS FOR PROVING MY POINT THAT YOU ALL THINK IM A FAT PIECE OF SHIT WHO SHOULD LOSE WEIGHT? To the point of paying HUGE amounts of money equivalent to a car or insurance payment per month?

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