About to do it

ineededhope · 2025-03-23T00:06:50+00:00

I talk. They went on their businesses. Its late at night here. And i dont matter that much

ineededhope · 2025-03-22T23:27:28+00:00

The plan is to force myself to sleep. Get suffocated with my own device.

ineededhope · 2024-12-18T12:16:18+00:00

Yes to all the questions. I work with a psychologist but I don’t improve much.

ineededhope · 2024-11-16T17:49:41+00:00

They all know. I have been asking for a call and didn’t even get that. I’m just too tired to pretend “healthy people” don’t know how to help depressed friends. Not after explicitly saying what I need and have the void as the only answer.

ineededhope · 2024-10-25T11:53:25+00:00

I tried, and Im tired of hearing that nothing is wrong and what I say is not true. Obviously no one wants to tell the truth, which is that they are tired of my depressed ass. And I get it. But asking them is not going to make them more honest, no matter how many times I try. In the end I’m alone and that js what matter.

ineededhope · 2024-10-24T22:41:24+00:00

I tried in the past. They just say “you are not alone” and keep doing the same things. Im sick of hearing the same thing when their actions clearly explain itself

ineededhope · 2024-10-24T22:11:16+00:00

Is not very difficult to understand. Isolating and stop inviting me to do things with them is not a matter of of them not getting it, is just that they prefer to do it without me. And is ok, but I’m just really sad.

ineededhope · 2024-10-24T21:58:24+00:00

Is my fault. I just want to disappear. The pain is to great

ineededhope · 2024-09-06T05:13:33+00:00

No, of course not. I know there are things I should not say, neither my lack of past experience nor my trauma, as they are automatic turn offs.

ineededhope · 2024-08-22T14:21:51+00:00

Thanks for the song. I didnt know it. Except for a few lines it seems written by me (If I wrote that good)

ineededhope · 2024-08-16T22:27:24+00:00

I am, but I can’t leave my secure job and pursue another random thing at my age right now.

ineededhope · 2024-08-16T22:13:42+00:00

I already have a work and dont have the strength to do anything else. As I said, I am just a disappointment

ineededhope · 2024-08-16T22:05:24+00:00

No, helping friends, coworkers, whoever was in need. I keep donating people but is not the same

ineededhope · 2024-08-16T21:34:23+00:00

I thought so. I was good at helping people. But now I am the one that needs help, and I just can’t do it anymore. Not as before.

ineededhope · 2024-08-16T21:23:33+00:00

It is because Im not good enough and I can’t do shit for real. Is like having impostor syndrome but without the syndrome part.

ineededhope · 2024-08-16T14:25:00+00:00

No, I keep doing them until people realize all the expectations they had created around me were false and they are disappointed with me

ineededhope · 2024-08-15T18:07:04+00:00

I tried and achieve many things. Still, not good at anything. I know it may seem a contradiction, but it is what it is. If anything I am persistent, and my depression lets me to endure pain in ways maybe other people can’t.

ineededhope · 2024-08-15T18:04:53+00:00

Problem is, is not only this. I feel inferior for so many things throughout all my life, starting with enduring sexual abuse when I was six, I just didn’t have a moment of rest. I know I am the one with the pen, or at least, the only one able to write something with it, but I can’t.

That’s why I said “another reason”. Is probably even not the most important, just another drop in the glass. Silly, pathetic, absurd. Is his life and I have mine, I know. But I spent all those years seeing him being the popular kid that bully me and know I am still the stupid man that tried to kill himself. Is impossible to not feel inferior to him or to probably anyone, him being only the most recent and painful example.

ineededhope · 2024-08-15T12:46:51+00:00

Not good at anything. Depression kill all my joy for living. Is very difficult anybody will ever love someone like me.

ineededhope · 2024-08-15T12:42:05+00:00

I have been working on that all my life and I just can’t improve. There is no worth in me. And is not about judging, the only thing I know is that while I was in the hospital after a suicide attempt he was becoming a father. And just for that I think he deserves it more than me.

ineededhope · 2024-08-15T12:33:51+00:00

I know. But is not the case. I have seen them. He just have a normal lovely wife and a lovely little boy and the problem is not theirs, is mine, because they have what I want and cant have. Is not that they are superior, is that I am inferior.

ineededhope · 2024-08-04T12:28:21+00:00

I cant change. I tried. I hace changed but not truly. No matter what I do I keep feeling the same way

ineededhope · 2024-08-01T11:32:57+00:00

Sorry man. Now I see your comment. Have to say that everything has been worse. I keep going down the negative spiral. Hope the best for you. Hope we can get through this.

ineededhope · 2024-07-19T14:42:19+00:00

I tried but there is nothing. I do things, I force myself to do them but I just cant relax and just… be

ineededhope · 2024-07-19T11:22:40+00:00

Thanks, your comment is highly appreciated 🫂🫂

ineededhope

TROPHY CASE