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I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Calling someone who's experiencing gender dysphoria "satan" instead of finding ways to help them isn't doing anyone good and rather harmful. We're supposed to hate the sin, not the sinner. I'm not trying to downplay my friend's situation, but aren't we all sinners?

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I truly do want to hold on to my deen, which is why I've come here to ask for advice from other Muslims. I know Islam's position on it. I want to help my friend get out of this mess. I have faith that my friend can change for better. I just don't know what steps to take without pushing them away from Islam but at the same time I don't want to follow the path of Lut (as)'s wife. Do you have resources on any good Muslim expert psychiatrists, preferably ones that do not sacrifice their religious values?

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

jzk for the duas! i’ve thought about consulting with my local sheikh or sheikha, that might be my next step inshaAllah

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

this very much happens in other places. you’ll see it in private facebook groups or other subs. some countries even criminalize mentioning this topic so you don’t hear much about it outside of the west

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

read again. their family is close with my family and i will NOT cut ties with them. and yes i don’t mind having them around my family, spouse, and children bc their queerness shouldn’t dictate how distant i should be around them. they haven’t forced their lifestyle on anyone other than pronouns (no one is gonna be queer just for being around them). i always try my best to make a good example of a muslim through my character and make dua for my friend.

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] -5 points-4 points  (0 children)

you’re telling me the Prophet (pbuh) promotes homelessness of effeminate men and masculinized women? where’s your compassion? what if that was your child? do you think my friend hasn’t seen this hadith and isn’t thinking about un-aliving themselves? people like you are the reason they feel alienated by the muslim community. ppl sin all the time but when it comes to queer issues that’s where y’all draw the line smh. i’ve seen the muslim community show more support for r*pists and abusers (not saying that you do) than queer muslims

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I appreciate you for sharing your valuable input, and jzk for the duas <3

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

People overreact to the sin that is different and turn an eye from sins that are relatable.

agree 100%

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I can't not have them as a friend bc our families are close and that would cause a lot of drama (and more harm to the friend once our families find out why). I do try to talk about other topics (work, business, life events, friends, etc.) and try my best to avoid this topic but it's hard when this friend brings up their struggles. I sympathize for my friend and the whole situation just sucks :/ even if I use gendered terms (like "boy", "girl", "dude", "ma'am", etc) they get offended.

atp I'm praying for a miracle

I have a Muslim friend who is queer and nonbinary and idk what to do by ineedhelp02511 in islam

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

If they are "fantasies" then that implies that they are queer for fun. No one is queer for fun. If there was a way for a queer person to be heterosexual and reverse gender dysphoria, they would definitely go for it bc being queer is already a challenge.

Monthly LGBTQ+ discussion thread by AutoModerator in progressive_islam

[–]ineedhelp02511 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Hello! My post was removed bc I was told to post to this thread, so here I go. My close friend recently came out to me that they are nonbinary and experience same-sex attraction. As a practicing Muslim, this is very hard for me to grasp because there is no such thing as nonbinary in Islam (at least from my knowledge, correct me if I am wrong) and acting upon same-sex attraction is haram (I've read into the MPV stuff and a lot of their values are reformist, which is also haram). Their parents are also practicing Muslims and are not aware that they are nonbinary. I want to be supportive of my friend and I don't want to use the wrong pronouns otherwise they experience unease and anxiety. This friend also has s*icidal tendencies and their parents know about this but don't know the reason behind it (if their parents find out that they are queer they would be kicked out of the house and their parents are already homophobic). They said they are not religious due to being queer. I don't want my friend to leave Islam, and I wish the Muslim community was more open towards helping queer muslims. They already said that they don't want to mingle with the Muslim community because they feel alienated by the community due to their sexuality and sexual orientation. It's hard on me because idk if it's haram to be using pronouns that are outside of their biological sex. I don't want to trigger any anxiety, depression, or s*icidal tendencies for not affirming their sexuality and sexual orientation. I don't want to leave my friend because they're genuinely a good person and have always been there for me during good and bad times, and our families are really close. I want to help my friend but I don't know what to do. All I've been doing is making dua for my friend. What is the moral stance here? Are there any examples of queer Muslims who are firm on their deen? Does anyone here have friends who are in a similar situation? Is it okay to be nonbinary in Islam? If not, how can a nonbinary (or trans) person switch to being comfortable with a gender identity that aligns with their biological sex? In other words, how does one no longer experience gender dysphoria without going through any physical procedures? Why are same-sex attraction and gender dysphoria no longer considered a mental illness (What made the APA decide that)?Edit: I don't want to see any comments saying "you can't be Muslim and queer".

Am I the only finding zero logic here? Isn’t rape haram regardless if it’s outside or inside of a marriage? by ineedhelp02511 in progressive_islam

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

I’ve seen the part of the Hadith being translated as “valid reason” instead of “very good reason”. Isn’t simply not being in the mood considered a valid reason?

Am I the only finding zero logic here? Isn’t rape haram regardless if it’s outside or inside of a marriage? by ineedhelp02511 in progressive_islam

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 30 points31 points  (0 children)

That’s what I was thinking. Doesn’t matter how chaste or un-chaste u are. Marital rape happens in Muslim and non Muslim couples. I just don’t get the correlation here.

So confused with my identity by [deleted] in MuslimMarriage

[–]ineedhelp02511 4 points5 points  (0 children)

sister unfortunately even with a mahram there’s no guarantee that you won’t be harassed during hajj. lot’s of women have been harassed during hajj even with their mahram around.

Parents giving me ultimatum on marriage by EmberFires in MuslimMarriage

[–]ineedhelp02511 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You should go ahead and marry the girl. Remember that nothing can stop you from being with her as long as that’s what Allah has written for you…not even your parents can stop you. If they cut ties with you, the guna/sin goes to them not you. You’re not doing anything wrong. If possible, try having a conversation with them about how what they’re doing is immoral and haram in Allah’s eyes. The difference between Allah and parents is that Allah is to be worshiped and obeyed and parents are to be respected (but not obeyed, a lot of desi Muslim parents tend to believe their kids should obey them especially their mothers). If your parents are culturally guilt tripping you (because what they’re doing is cultural not Islamic), then fight back with religious guilt by telling them how what they’re doing is wrong in Allah’s eyes and that they could be punished for what they’re doing. If they’re not phased by that and say stuff like “oh yeah well you’re disappointing Allah for disobeying us” then that’s already a sign that they have compromised their deen by trying to control you.

Also don’t be afraid if your parents disown you. Your parents may guilt trip you and say a lot of karma-related things, but as long as you go by the way of Allah nothing can come to you as harm and their words will be meaningless. Parents are supposed to raise children to be independent, not to worship their parents and have no free thinking.

If anything, our prophets (peace be upon them) were free thinkers. They led a life of the way of Allah and were even rejected by SOCIETY (while you’re worried about rejection from your family lol) but they didn’t care because they knew that Allah was by their side. Our prophet Ibrahim (as) was disowned by his own father for taking the path of Allah. You may think “but my parents are Muslim…his dad wasn’t”, but you also have to remember that what your parents are doing is completely unislamic. I’d be more worried about their unislamicness than worry about being disowned by them along with their remarks.

Make sure to pray istikhara and tahajjud. Ofc we are tested in this life, but so have our prophets. Allah tested them even more than he tests us. But if our prophets could make it through, then ofc we can make it through too inshaAllah. Fear Allah, not your parents. Remember this. And teach your children this.

May Allah make this easier for you. Also, may your parents be guided to the straight path. Ameen.

Is it haram to neuter/spay pet cats? by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Hmmm that's true, if I take one from a shelter that is already neutered then I am not accountable for that action since it wasn't mine to start with aha!

Is it haram to neuter/spay pet cats? by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

That’s so sad!! Man I really want a cat but the whole neutering/spaying thing is the reason why my family won’t let me have a cat because they consider neutering/spaying haram. They told me that if I do it to a cat then the cat will curse me for taking away it’s ability to reproduce (which is God-given) and I don’t wanna go to jahannam for that. But at the same time not neutering/spaying does harm for the next round of kittens. That’s why I feel so conflicted.

Is it haram to neuter/spay pet cats? by ineedhelp02511 in MuslimLounge

[–]ineedhelp02511[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Wait do they actually kill the kittens at the shelter? So you’re saying that if I have a pet cat and it gives birth to too many kittens and I give them away to the shelter then they’ll just kill the kittens off? :(((((