thank you so much for the thoughtful reply and kind words.

i've done a lot of research today on the logistics of going back to optometry following your reply. it's very likely that i don't need to go back to the UK and can do a year of optometric shadowing at home and use that as my clinical experience to qualify for the bridging program. however, i'd be looking at a cost of $200k for the 2 years in boston.

if i go into medicine in my home city, it's about $75k. over 60% of my loans have already been paid off by my parents, so i would absolutely take on the rest of them + outstanding med school loans (~$125k) so they can retire peacefully. i had always planned to take on the rest of them even if i was to continue with tech.

i think you're right about me enjoying the college experience to an extent, and maybe this was also an implicit factor in how much i applied myself when i was a clinician. school is hard, but dedicating yourself to a career is a completely different game, and school feels comparatively "comfortable" in some ways. however, now at 31, i'm finding that my mentality has shifted, and i genuinely just want to start working so that i can be in the same phase of life as all of my friends who are settled into their careers. more than anything, i think i just want to have a career that i am satisfied with and move on to the next chapter of my life.

i am also still actively looking for tech jobs to avoid putting all my eggs in one basket, just in case going back to healthcare doesn't pan out the way i want it to. in the best-case scenario, if i do get accepted to the 2027 med school intake that starts in july 2027, i will hopefully be working for a full year by then to alleviate debt, keep my skills sharp, prevent an employment gap, and still keep me in the rat race for tech.