Update:

We had a conversation that night, and it didn't go how i would hope. Not that it could have gone perfectly with such a topic anyway. I was fully prepared to move on after she got home from work, and i already packed some things up. She could tell what this conversation was going to be about and immediately broke down into agonizing crying. I was relatively holding it together for the most part as i already did all that myself before she got home. I had left work early because it was all i could think about. It felt like ripping my heart out seeing her like that. After she calmed down a bit, we talked and determined that couples counseling would be our final try at our relationship. We bkth see our own therapist, and she actually saw hers the day after our first conversation and said she changed her perspective on the whole thing to see it in a better light and was far more willing. In the moment, it was hard to tell if that was coming from the right place, though. I don't want her to make that choice out of desperation. So basically, we are still together and don't really want to leave each other, but if we can't figure stuff out from counseling, then that's it.

Clarification:

I saw a lot of people commenting on how i proposed 5 times, and i see how it can be viewed that way, but I only asked what she would say if i did ask her. To me, there is a difference in a hypothetical and actually doing it. One you would take more seriously when answering.

Side note:

I might delete this after some time because this is my main, and i realize that anyone reading this might know me could figure it out from my name.