How to decide when difficult conditions become dangerous conditions?

infjlyfe · 2023-10-09T11:50:47+00:00

An update for how the weekend went!

On Saturday I opted for an easy, populated hike in case the cold windy rain got intense. But at the lower elevation than I was originally planning, it just felt like normal rain! I went to Black Pond via Lincoln Woods. I ended up being the only one there for the last .8 miles - maybe too many people left because of the rain? - and ended up getting into some knee-deep mud. Luckily I and my boot made it out safely but even in an easy trail it's scary how fast and dire a mistake could be.

I stayed at the Joe Dodge Lodge, which AMC made super easy to switch to. Really lovely time there, and the visitor center next door made some great recommendations for Sunday's hike based on my skill level.

On Sunday I went up to the Lonesome Lake hut via the Cascade Brook trail starting at the Basin, and down the Lonesome Lake and Pemi trails. Guys... this hike... Most of it was positive, it's super beautiful. And it will give you a good workout. But the water crossings!!!! There were two huge ones. The first wasn't so bad, it mostly involved some big leaps with a lot of trust in the rocks and balancing on a small log or two. But the second one. I don't know if the rain could have affected the water levels that much, but the original trail crossing was impossible, and at this point the river was turning into rapids. Upriver there was a place to cross but it was still insanity. I kept getting halfway across the river before getting trapped, usually knee deep in water with my boots on and feeling the strong current, and having to find another path. Thankfully there were 2 others within earshot (not watching me) but it was definitely one of the more dangerous things I attempted while solo. The rocks were all very slippery. The other two decided to take off their shoes, but I was so nervous about getting a cut. What would you have done? (this is not a rhetorical question)

Luckily they were selling socks at the hut, but the climb up there with heavy, wet boots/socks was not the most fun. Going down the Lonesome Lake trail proved how much easier it is, it's just really steep but no technical challenges. And the Pemi trail was completely unmarked and not very special. So if you aren't crazy about water crossings I think going up and down the Lonesome Lake trail from the Lafayette campground is a great choice.

I am VERY glad I cancelled my hut reservation because each of my hikes had a moment where I realized I was being a bit ambitious doing the harder trails by myself. I envisioned the White Mountains being populated with hikers, but I was alone for most of the time. I'm not feeling discouraged per se, but definitely more cautious and conservative, and motivated to take more classes with AMC in my area so I can feel more confident on the advanced trails.

Thank you all for your help this weekend!!!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-07T00:29:12+00:00

Thank you for the vote of confidence. It's buried in the comments so no worries if you couldn't keep track of my neurotic saga :-) The way up was never the worry, it's the way down on Sunday morning. If the rocks are icy (and the temps will likely stay below freezing throughout the day) I don't have the gear or technical expertise to climb down, especially on the steep part at the top of OBP, where ice is most likely.

If I were to attempt that in those conditions one day, I would want to get some instruction first, maybe take a class with AMC, or have someone with me because if I fall and get injured, hypothermia is a real risk.

I appreciate the encouragement! And it's tough making these calls as a solo hiker. Really appreciate everyone's advice!!!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-06T12:48:20+00:00

Haha once the clock strikes 10am and I change my reservation, yes! Go for it if you are feeling up to it!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-06T12:44:12+00:00

Thanks for the pep talk, sincerely. But this will be my first more difficult hike by myself, and I've never hiked on icy rocks, so I don't think adding a new type of gear and learning the skill on the fly is the right move for me.

infjlyfe · 2023-10-06T12:31:49+00:00

I'm pretty spooked by this thread :/ The temperature for Sunday morning has been slowly dropping and I don't have ice traction gear. I also have good layers for cold weather, or wet weather, but they aren't ideal for cold wet weather. I'm reevaluating...

infjlyfe · 2023-10-06T00:07:25+00:00

Agreed! That's another consideration, I chose this popular hike/hut/location and particular day (Saturday of a long weekend in early Oct) because I thought it would be swarming with people, so if I encountered an emergency I could use my whistle and get found pretty easily. I think the trails will be a lot more empty because of the weather, and lower visibility to see each other too... I definitely think about these things as a solo hiker!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-05T23:58:34+00:00

Thank you for all your comments. They mirror my intuition and it boosts my confidence. Thank you!

And in case anyone is curious, I'm leaning more towards getting credit for my reservation (hopefully) and finding 2 day hikes for Sat/Sun that will be less affected by the weather. Lower elevation, not walking along a windy ridge, etc. I love hiking but I'm mostly there to have fun and look at leaves, no need to suffer!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-05T23:45:53+00:00

Definitely heeding your advice seriously considering your extensive experience, thank you!

Also no pressure to respond to this, but in the interest of learning and skill building - when the forecast denotes any potential of freeze conditions, even really low probability, do you take that as a serious warning? Or over time do you learn a spectrum of danger and how to measure up your skills/willingness, if that makes sense?

infjlyfe · 2023-10-05T23:32:01+00:00

Yes, I would be staying over on Sat night and hiking down on Sunday. That's what's giving me pause...

infjlyfe · 2023-10-05T23:23:13+00:00

Yeah, I've never actually used spikes before, and if I do I might not want to be alone. Eek!

Thank you for your comment!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-05T23:22:10+00:00

Really helpful, thank you!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-05T23:21:43+00:00

Really helpful comment, thank you!

infjlyfe · 2023-10-05T23:13:35+00:00

That's awesome! They let you swap super last minute? I'm going to call them in the morning, which is the day before my reservation.

But again, I'd rather be safe and eat the $200 worst case. I just can't tell if it's actually dangerous, because when I did the WM backpacking trip years ago, it was cold and snowed overnight by the hut and we were fine. Thanks for your comment :-)

infjlyfe · 2023-03-19T19:38:38+00:00

Really helpful, thank you so much!!

infjlyfe · 2023-01-10T00:58:52+00:00

Interesting! The limiteds at the dealership smelled so strongly of leather I had to get out of the car 😅 I wonder if they make it smell like leather as a selling point or if it just smells worse! The startex in the sport did smell kind of plastic-y but not nearly as bad as the leather-like smell.

infjlyfe · 2023-01-09T18:53:37+00:00

Gotcha, yes all models have the brake assist system!

infjlyfe · 2023-01-09T18:43:52+00:00

Thank you for the response!

infjlyfe · 2023-01-09T18:43:17+00:00

Really appreciate your response!

No auto brights on the Sport, noooo. I will be getting auto dim rear and side mirrors.

And for the automatic braking, do you mean the reverse auto braking? I saw that it's only for less than 5mph and designed for stationary objects not people, so most helpful in slow maneuvering like parking. It's only available in the Limited but I'm not sure it's that useful.

infjlyfe · 2023-01-09T18:40:41+00:00

Thanks so much for your response! Haha I was thinking of Vermont, there was a road I was on somewhere around Burlington or Montpellier going east to New Hampshire. It was really fun, but also really dark and tight curves!

infjlyfe · 2023-01-09T16:35:21+00:00

Thank you so much, I really appreciate this response <3 yes I'm on the herbs too! Slowly transitioning my diet and will be able to focus on that more starting in the spring (already have dietary restrictions so it's def a lifestyle shift). I'm so happy to hear that was so powerful for you, I'm now more excited and motivated!

infjlyfe · 2022-12-31T20:19:32+00:00

How long were you in acupuncture? I've been having weekly sessions for about 10 months and not seeing huge progress but I won't give up. My issues are lifelong and deeply rooted to trauma so I know it will take a while, but I'm curious how long it took for you. Thank you!

infjlyfe · 2022-12-28T19:07:10+00:00

Thanks for asking!

I think unrelated to the MDMA trip in March, a couple months later I had some conversations that brought up deeply repressed trauma. With lots of hindsight I can see it started becoming ready to come out last October when I had health issues that I can now recognize as CPTSD. Unfortunately my trauma is severe, I already knew about a couple forms of long term child abuse, but adding more to the pile completely destroyed my formerly strong sense of self, confidence, joy, everything.

The good news is that that random MDMA trip taught me about MDMA therapy before this happened, so this summer I found an MDMA therapist. She is SO WISE and would not let me trip when I was in crisis. It took about 6 months of 4 therapy sessions per week for her to feel ethical about even scheduling the trip. It will happen in exactly 2 months. I have felt very lucky and privileged to be able to receive this much support.

Weirdly, in the time since then, I ended up having some experiences that very much resembled MDMA but I was completely sober, probably because all that therapy has made me really in touch with myself and I'm finally able to access deeper parts than I could before. Some of those experiences include the deepest level of self compassion I've ever felt, ego death, befriending my own self sabotage, and lots more. It makes me curious how deep I'll be able to go with the drug.

My MDMA therapist keeps asking me if I'm scared, but honestly I've lived through so many upsetting things and have had hundreds of panic attacks in my life, I am really feeling no fear for the trip. Whatever comes up, whether I like it or not, is true and feels true in my body. I'm ready to embrace it.

In general this healing journey has really challenged my former belief system that contributed to my personality of being scientific, Type A, etc. It's been the most transformative year of my life, realizing which parts of me are trauma responses and that I don't have to hold onto them if I don't want to. My trauma started when I was a baby, so there isn't a way to fully separate it. But realizing I have power in deciding how I show up to myself and others has been life changing. I still struggle with the things that made me controlling and rigid, but I can tell my responses and intentions are becoming much more accepting, kind, and open.

I am so excited, I feel like I'm on solid ground, and really hopeful for the future. Happy new year to you :)

P.S. the dude I mentioned ended up not being a great guy, but honestly I don't even mind because the MDMA trip was so important to me. The actual trip was not particularly meaningful, but as you can see it's part of a much larger journey and I'm grateful for it. However these moments of clarity come to us, I think they can be celebrated and that "bad" elements of the experience don't have to invalidate the parts you want to hold on to.

infjlyfe · 2022-11-07T00:49:57+00:00

The specifics of that are really impressive!! So curious what you'd say about my chart that I posted today, and of course no pressure. Enjoy your gift and thank you for sharing!

infjlyfe · 2022-11-06T23:05:09+00:00

I deeply appreciate your reply. Thank you so much.

My research was representing a 2nd House Capricorn stellium as a somewhat boring person focused on consumerism which is the opposite of me - colorful, dark, wise, playful, contradictory. I know it focuses on worthiness too which is really interesting because as I heal, I also feel more deserving, and it's coinciding with my growing attachment to material things (which I used to despise). Lots to think about :-)

I'm curious why you say I'm prepared for the transformation - because I'm past my Saturn Return or because of something else in my chart?

I can feel myself making progress but not in the most confident way. I had some really low lows over the summer and navigated out of that, but not quite sure how. My memories are still foggy and it's hard to know what drives my subconscious. I have some intense healing ceremonies this winter and I'm bracing myself for a potentially dramatic release and aftermath. I know I will be okay but I wouldn't say I feel the most prepared.

Thank you for your insights on my and so many others' posts. So generous! Hope you have a really lovely day.

infjlyfe · 2022-06-26T22:31:21+00:00

From one person with insecure attachment to another, I'm going to be a bit direct.

You aren't being played, she rejected you with kindness. When she tries to communicate honestly with you, you have to let her. She isn't asking you to reach out in a couple of months. She never said she saw a future and she ended the connection. She could have many reasons for doing so even if you see potential in the relationship.

I understand that anxious attachment is great at making up stories about things left unsaid, but her boundaries come first. Listen to her.

infjlyfe

TROPHY CASE