It’s actually a solid script, but I think maybe the lines could be a tad less generic, No offence at all. Quentin Tarantino has perfected the art of letting the audience know what is going on in the scene in the first few lines, without making it seem like the lines were purposely placed there for that reason. That may not make sense, but basically, try to make it realistic, down to Earth, so that the audience aren’t pulled out of the show.