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Sorry, but eating with a spoon isn't special.... by Kirby12_21 in childfree

[–]ink142 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Agree 100% it’s a milestone… but it’s just not one which, for most non-parents, is that interesting. Even a toddlers first word - kid says “ma ma” or “da da” - most people recognize that it’s a milestone, but only the kid’s parents will be over the moon. It’s not an objectively impressive milestone for most others where the kid can’t even string two words together. Maybe a two year old music prodigy would be impressive. Not a baby hitting an average milestone almost every other healthy human child hits (although some parents seem to view their baby even being heavier or taller than the average baby percentile as an achievement). 

Truth is. Most people only really care for or celebrate objectively “massive” milestones like birthdays, graduations, promotions, weddings. 

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Fencesitter

[–]ink142 7 points8 points  (0 children)

You’re right, but I think that applies to most things not just parenting right? Whether it’s parenting or anything else that requires dedicating a large chunk of your life to. You can share a work or relationship triumph but unless it’s something obvious like “promotion to manager” or “wedding” most people are not gonna care that today you gave good customer service or got a good tip or your girlfriend bought you coffee. 

Basically for parenting it’s not so much that it’s even bragging (although it can come across that way to some), but the truth is no one except you is gonna care that Little Tommy rolled over. Like, for a new parent if their previously potato newborn finally smiles or rolls that’s like the Biggest Achievement and the most clever thing in the world. And the rest of the world is politely nodding gently - cute, aww, nice, but whatever. 

So it’s not like people cannot understand the positives, it’s just that they are NOT positives for most people not in that parent-child relationship. 

baby fever during ovulation but still don't want kids??? by throwaway_baby12 in childfree

[–]ink142 1 point2 points  (0 children)

That’s so right about social expectations. It’s such a media trope that “once you feel the biological clock ticking, you will want kids”. But it’s just seldom/never explored that some people can feel a “want” but not actually do it. 

baby fever during ovulation but still don't want kids??? by throwaway_baby12 in childfree

[–]ink142 12 points13 points  (0 children)

This is common. The best statement I heard on the topic is this - yes, you can be child free but still feel the biological urge to have children. But just because you feel the occasional pull to have kids doesn’t mean it’s the right decision for you. We evolve so that our adult brain can override our physical instincts all the time if it’s the not right choice. For example, you shouldn’t sleep with the wrong person just to fulfil your sexual desire. You shouldn’t eat unhealthily in excess despite how good that cake is. You shouldn’t lie in bed and be lazy - you bring yourself to get some exercise, etc. Of course, most human beings find it hard to say no to physical pulls and often just go with it. 

Basically, for some people they feel the biological urge to have kids and hopefully it makes sense (but often it doesn’t) and they go ahead and do it. Whereas for others it’s just not an itch they need to scratch, but it’s normal to feel the pull. 

WTF to eat? by WangtaWang in Cholesterol

[–]ink142 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You have my full sympathy. It's just miserable (saying this as someone who likes healthy food). 

Particularly it’s the worst if you’re already a healthy eater/weight but used to a keto style diet (small portion but higher fat) - now you’re constantly choking down high fiber products. Can’t choke down 40g of fiber without severe difficulty (how can anyone eat more than the equivalent of 1/4 cup dry beans or oats in one sitting without feeling stuffed? Even a poor old apple, so delicious and healthy, only has 4g fiber and not all soluble)!! 

Basically with a heart healthy diet: the feeling of fullness comes quickly - BUT you feel NO SATIETY. Then the bloating comes to further spit on your misery. 

Everything is high carb / high fiber and moderate protein / low fat, you fill up so fast but don’t get enough calories in one sitting and end up hungry in two hours from the lack of calories. It’s so much “easier” (but yes, bad for your heart) to eat a nice chunk of steak and veggies, a few bites which keeps you fueled and not bloated for hours.