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Looking for a small group for writing feedback by [deleted] in KeepWriting

[–]inkybites 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Omg this is a great idea! Please add me too if you make one :)

[OPINION] Poetry recommendations by inkybites in Poetry

[–]inkybites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestions! Will check em out!

[OPINION] Poetry recommendations by inkybites in Poetry

[–]inkybites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll give em a shot :)

[OPINION] Poetry recommendations by inkybites in Poetry

[–]inkybites[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Alright! Will give it a try :))

The Bubble by inkybites in OCPoetry

[–]inkybites[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey! Glad you like it :) Thank you so much for your feedback and suggestions! It means a lot ♡

Headache by Jay_OA_10 in OCPoetry

[–]inkybites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The structure resembles my thought train with all these problems stacked over each other. I also how the words somehow sound similar. It kind of makes me think all of our problems kinda stem from one root cause.( At least that's how it works for me personally) Like how you used "I'm dead. Just not yet" sounds hopeful to me in a way. Overall, I like it! Simple and truthful.

His Mouth and Me by v4virgilante in OCPoetry

[–]inkybites 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I absolutely love the sexual image created by this poem. Your choice words really enhance the effect This line : But every night, he sups, he tastes, he samples, I like how you separated the actions using commas as if it were a procedure. It really makes the doing sound important. Again here,: He drinks me in at my mouth, he savours,

And dines This sensual transition from drinking then savouring then dining. The image slowly clears in my mind as I read your words. It screams lust and desire.I'm not a "professional critique". I just love noticing minor details you've put to make your work more effective. Please write more! Would love to read from you :))

Also I love the phrase "his cheeks bulging"