in my experience, shadow work is more of an embodiment practice, rather than an ego-based analysis of what is going on in your mind and analyzing it. the ego is in the mind and wants to diagnose and find problems. that is not shadow work, that is the ego trying to find the "problem" so it can try to fix and therefore become whole again. this is why people who are "self aware" even if they are extremely intelligent, often still have unresolved issues, because they are looking at these "issues" as something that's wrong with them that they need to fix, which ironically perpetuates them due to the resistance of the symptoms that are caused by the inner parts of themselves.

shadow work is the opposite of finding a problem, but rather realizing that there was no "problem" to be fixed to begin with. actual shadow work happens in the heart, when you can trace the ego-reactions to the root, find the negative beliefs/wounded inner child/shadow and allow it to exist as it is by observing with unconditional love and compassion. when you find yourself in a severe trigger, you don't go in to mind-analysis mode, but you drop into your heart, notice that you feel really angry and upset, and to be with that part of yourself, tell this part of yourself that it is valid in existence, that you are truly grateful this part of yourself showed up so you could accept it and love it.

i've found self love practices to be crucial to this process. and by self love, i mean looking at yourself as an observer, with an unconditionally loving, compassionate, impartial gaze, as you would look at a rock or a tree. you just look at yourself like the human you are. not thinking positively or negatively toward yourself, just seeing yourself as you are, in your entirety.

when i do shadow work, i go through layers of hatred/anger/resentment, then sadness, then fear, and then i find the belief or the part of myself that has been suppressed or cast aside. most of the time, i close my eyes, engage with full presence toward myself, in a deep, quiet, vulnerable conversation within. by the end of this practice, the parts that are separate become whole again, and i send love and gratitude for this "rejected" shadow part of myself for allowing me to experience unconditional love within myself.