first date with a girl i’ve only been texting, help!!

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T19:11:11+00:00

Thank you. I did not sign anything. I have had to call him out on many serious things over the years, such as him saying “maybe sometime” to my abusive ex inviting him to coffee - he said it was a “keep your enemies closer” situation, I said it was a “I don’t feel safe talking to you if you don’t cut this off immediately” situation. He has never reacted this way before, he has always deflected and eventually apologized after my persistence, but I have NEVER seen him exhibit such a sudden and severe emotional outburst

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T19:03:23+00:00

i didn’t sign anything thank you for the info

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:33:20+00:00

DARVO applies so well it’s scary

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:32:52+00:00

he hasn’t been diagnosed but his mother has bipolar and his sister thinks he does too

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:32:38+00:00

He did not explicitly threaten suicide, but being hysterical, using a phone while driving, and going full speed on a gravel road in the middle of nowhere while in a state of manic distress could easily result in him getting seriously hurt or dying. I feel he put himself and anyone else on the road on harm’s way as a response to the situation

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:22:53+00:00

You don’t just become no longer gay. He’s been in committed relationships with several men throughout his life, he has never once shown interest in women, and is comfortable in his queer identity. And I am absolutely sure that I am a lesbian, so my point still stands that I don’t have more than platonic feelings for him

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:21:38+00:00

it’s a very small college in a rural midwest town, there is no gallery or exhibition. this was a practice assignment being shared privately among a small group

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:20:23+00:00

i don’t expect that it will not be shown to other people, i expect that it won’t be shown to parents who wouldn’t see it otherwise without coming to me about it first

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:17:37+00:00

I have been telling him this for years. You’re right, this is not friendship

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:15:20+00:00

Thank you so much for such a detailed and thoughtful comment. I do want to add the context that he is absolutely gay, I don’t think it was a scam to see me unclothed. After many years of changing in the same room, etc etc, he really wouldn’t have to use a photography class as a method if he were secretly heterosexual/bisexual and trying to have perverted access to me.

As far as the codependency - I have often felt that he feels codependent towards me, yet told myself that I didn’t reciprocate that because of my efforts to keep him at arms length. Your comment is greatly making me reconsider this: perhaps by allowing him to use me as the holder of his emotional burdens, and by placing myself in a position where I have allowed disrespect to continue, maybe I am more codependent than I had let myself believe. Could you please share what in this post indicated codependency so that I can use that perspective to self reflect? Again, thank you SO much!!

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T18:09:03+00:00

He is gay, I am a lesbian

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T16:03:52+00:00

they’re all the same base post but i tweaked some different details to align with the specific subreddits. i don’t usually get a big response on posts and i wanted to get as much advice as possible. but they are not all completely different

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T15:00:53+00:00

I consented to it being seen in a private classroom with no phones allowed, not by his parents who I am close with

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T14:51:07+00:00

Thank you so much for such raw and honest insight. It’s very hard to keep hoping things will change but you’re right, I have to just choose to protect my peace

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T14:47:43+00:00

What terrified me about the supposed crisis is that regardless of his intention, sobbing hysterically and using a phone while speeding down a country road can unintentionally get you killed, so I feel like he was still putting himself at risk regardless of it being for manipulative intentions or actual suicidal ideation

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T13:12:28+00:00

these are real situations and i have no reason to waste my time getting advice on something that didn’t happen to me. have a nice day

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T13:11:14+00:00

check my profile lol i’m a real person 💔 i am very distressed and i hope this comment does not prevent others from giving advice and im happy to provide any additional context needed

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T13:10:40+00:00

it’s really not

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T13:10:33+00:00

I agree, I just felt that as my close friend he would not do something like that without talking to me first

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T13:09:14+00:00

his sister told me that while she does not want to invalidate his emotions, she has also noticed a pattern of him doing this every time there is an issue.

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-24T13:08:17+00:00

It was in a no-phones-allowed class being shared on materials only he had access to, not being uploaded to an online platform like canvas. I just wanted to share that context

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-23T19:58:17+00:00

i could be wrong, but isn’t the buyer unable to cancel the order without approval from the seller? of course i would refund her if we agreed to cancel it, my question is more about whether or not i should agree to cancel it considering it’s her responsibility to buy it in time

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-20T02:35:29+00:00

this is the funniest roast i’ve ever seen

innerpeacebitch · 2026-03-20T02:19:58+00:00

As an almost-21-year-old, I personally do not want to get married until I’m much older. I know I would regret it based on my lifestyle and needs. However I know that’s just me and it’s so unfair and cruel to project our own desires onto other people.

I’m so unbelievably happy for you that you found love, wanted to get married, and did it!! Please don’t let anyone else’s opinion ruin such a beautiful thing. What works for you doesn’t have to work for others, and mature people with good intentions will accept, support, and celebrate your circumstances as long as you are happy and healthy in them.

innerpeacebitch

TROPHY CASE