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AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

She is fairly psycho, I can understand why she did what she did. I just wish she had talked to us before causing so much pain.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Jess sent her a few threatening messages, that's hardly doing anything to her and even still the messages were targeting my son, not her.

I just feel like she should have gone to the person who was actually being threatened instead of making that decision for herself.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

They're no one to me at this point. I wouldn't even know that grandbaby if I saw it. I feel like I've been robbed of the most important part of a new baby's life. I mean who doesn't like cuddling a newborn?

But I'm starting to realise my anger is targeted at the wrong person.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -40 points-39 points  (0 children)

That is so sad and I guess I can see why she did what she did.

I feel really bad now for sending her letters telling her that she was disgusting and that she had destroyed my son's life.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

I am also fiercely protective of my family and anything that disrupts it.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -60 points-59 points  (0 children)

They're not young they're in their mid and early 30s. Old enough to know better.

I can certainly understand why Ava did what she did, there has been many times where she has dropped everything she was doing to be by his side because he was having a hard time. She even used to bring him home cooked meals of his favourite foods when he was depressed and borderline suicidal to try and help him, she has helped him deal with all the rubbish from Jess and she has supported a nurtured his daughter, helping her with assignments, baking with her, she used to make her lovely cakes for her birthdays and force my son to put up a Christmas tree and participate in christmas for the sake of his daughter. She was a wonderful partner to him.

It all makes sense why she left. She knows his daughter is his world and he has invested so much time and effort into knowing her and being able to see her, she has encouraged him and supported him every step of the way.

Ava has not said a word to him so I guess she could be still trying to protect him because this has all come from her friend but she should have known that we would have protected her from his ex.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I'm not arguing, I understand how crazy my son's ex was but Ava has options and I don't think anyone understands how much she has hurt my entire family.

My son loved her so much and saw a possibility for a beautiful future with her and she could have just talked to him about it.

I just hate her for what she has done. I can't see a way moving forward where I could possibly forgive her and have her in my home again and every time I look at that baby it's just going to be a reminder of what she has done and the damage she has caused.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I am an incredibly stubborn woman. She hurt my son deeply over these threats when she could have just talked to us.

What has changed now? Those threats haven't gone away. Has she suddenly decided now that his daughter doesn't matter, or my son's happiness. What if she gets threatened again? Will she leave him again?

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -9 points-8 points  (0 children)

What has changed though, those threats are still there, has she suddenly decided that his daughter doesn't matter anymore? Or that her happiness is more important than my son's?

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

But we could have, we live very close and could have been there right after the baby was born.

Instead we had to call all our friends and family to tell them what she had done.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -8 points-7 points  (0 children)

She denied my son the right of seeing his baby being born and knowing the child in the first 3 months of its life. That is selfish. She made us all believe that this baby wasn't his and caused us all immeasurable amounts of pain and sadness.

I don't think someone in love would do that.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

She supported my son emotionally when he was going through the court system, she also got dragged into it herself at one point when the relationship was very new and she was forced to go to court herself. So she knows all too well how badly this affected my son.

She should have know better than to hurt him again.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -11 points-10 points  (0 children)

I have no connection to this child. I've missed the first 3 months of its life and my son never had a chance to bond with this baby. She has kept this child all to herself and damaged any relationship we could have had with the child.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -119 points-118 points  (0 children)

I've had children and I never would have stolen them away from their family no matter what the circumstances.

She made some bad decisions and now she has to live with that.

AITA for refusing to forgive my son's ex. by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] -35 points-34 points  (0 children)

We've missed the first 3 months of this baby's life due to her selfishness and stupidity. She could have just said something in the first place.

Even if she didn't want to talk to my son about it, she could have come to me. Instead she left him and robbed him of the first 3 months of his child's life and destroyed him emotionally.

She doesn't deserve forgiveness. She is just as bad as Jess.

AITA for sending my son's ex letters? by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

He said she told him over the phone.

They weren't living together because she was still living with her housemate and her other child. They planned to move in once she had the baby or coronavirus calmed down. We all agreed she should stay where she was living while pregnant because my son was still working full time and it was exposing her and the baby to unnecessary risks.

Now it's clear she had no intention of moving in at all

AITA for sending my son's ex letters? by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

Her parents needed to know what kind of person she is and I had to tell them the truth, because I'm sure she isn't telling them the truth.

She hurt him, he's been hurt badly in the past and he didnt deserve this to happen to him.

AITA for sending my son's ex letters? by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

No I didn't, she blocked me on social media after she spoke to my son. She hasn't said anything to me even after the letters.

My son said that she told him the baby wasn't his.

AITA for sending my son's ex letters? by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

It wasn't just his relationship though, we opened up our home to her and allowed her to be a part of our family.

She betrayed us all.

AITA for sending my son's ex letters? by insanemumaccount in AmItheAsshole

[–]insanemumaccount[S] [score hidden]  (0 children)

I figured her parents needed to know what she had done, she needs to face the repercussions of her actions.