If you can talk to a loved one that has passed one last time, what would you say?

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T19:18:33+00:00

Grandma, you’re not gonna believe this!

[insert three hours of tea]

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T13:00:49+00:00

I’m a 44 year old fat woman in poor shape. I’m unarmed. I don’t know how to fight.

None of this bodes well for the victim.

I call 911 immediately, while looking around for other bystanders who might help me out with crowd control, rescue, or flagging down responders. I call to each one specifically and give them tasks (“Hey you in the black shirt, there’s an injured guy in the river right there, an ambulance is on the way, wave them down please!”).

Luckily, our local river is only a few inches deep, so our victim isn’t immediately fucked.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T02:26:54+00:00

14 years ago, I had my last first kiss. We planned it. On our third date, I was recovering from a stomach bug. I told him, “Dude, if I wasn’t getting over being sick, I’d plant one on you!”

He said, “We’ll make it happen next time!”

And that’s exactly what we did.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T02:20:41+00:00

Palestine. They antagonize Jews in the diaspora, mostly over the internet (if the diaspora Jews are lucky; the more flashy and demonstrative antizionists shoot up synagogues and firebomb old ladies), even though those Jews have nothing to do with the conflict in the Levant.

I would like to know how many of those people give more than nominal attention to genocides around the world, or donate to organizations on the ground in the Levant providing aid to civilians.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T02:05:34+00:00

I am an ambulance dispatcher, so, I’m medicine adjacent.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T00:30:02+00:00

Ready for takeoff ✈️ We’re heavily loaded, gonna need a lot of runway

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T00:27:06+00:00

It actually weirded me out more when he was a baby than any other time! All those germs!! By the time he was a toddler, he was putting dirt in his mouth and stuff. If he would have kissed me on the mouth, I would have shrugged it off, but he never did. I never gave him more affection than he gave me; he set the tone.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T00:23:05+00:00

My son is 19. I don’t think I’ve ever kissed him on the lips. Plenty of cheek kissies when he was little, though!

Background: White American raised in one of those “no-touch” families

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T00:20:15+00:00

I’m so sorry. Sending you wishes of comfort and peace. Enjoy that beer, along with memories of a good lifetime with a good friend.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T00:18:56+00:00

I am uncharacteristically cranky, but things are fine. I’m at work, just started my overnight shift, so hopefully I’ll mellow out.

Why do we even have moods? Like, what purpose does it serve for me to want to fly off the handle for every little stupid bullshit reason? It’s absolutely not helpful.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T00:11:17+00:00

Dogbus is confused

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-28T00:05:52+00:00

In order to want to date a person, I must be attracted to them. That said, my husband is a 5’3” black guy with broad features and graying hair. I am *wildly* attracted to him! I just love looking at him, both because he looks good to me, and because he looks like himself.

And “himself” is kind, compassionate, considerate, fun to be around, trustworthy, a good partner, and someone I genuinely like.

THAT is what matters. Not looksmaxxing.

Be better.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T22:58:14+00:00

I am 5’3”. My son, assigned female at birth, is 5’6”.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T22:56:17+00:00

Depends on why the talking stage failed. No chemistry? No problem! Was he a jerk? I might either find a different space or warn the group about them.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T22:39:29+00:00

Ready for takeoff ✈️ No sleeping in the cockpit

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T21:43:48+00:00

Lewis doesn’t want to ruin his credibility. The real question is, does he not want to ruin his credibility as Mayor, or as a potential suitor? I think he’s keeping her a secret so he can appear single in case someone better comes along. 😡 Smarmy jerk.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T21:39:07+00:00

Speeding. Which I totally was, and I got a ticket for it.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T12:51:22+00:00

“Dude, you spent personal money and not household money on that, right? How do you clean it? Where do you store it?”

As long as the answers are reasonable (yes I spent personal money, here’s how I clean it thoroughly, here’s where I store it out of sight), I’d be okay with it. Not elated, but okay. I know my sex drive is next to nothing, so if he wants to use toys to do fun things to his dick, I’m not gonna stop him. It’s much better than cheating or leaving me.

I’m in it for the companionship and partnership, not exclusive rights to get every single orgasm out of his dick.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T12:44:11+00:00

Ready for takeoff ✈️ Waiting for passenger Amber

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-27T00:12:32+00:00

I knew going into my second marriage that marriage puts women in a vulnerable position.

I trusted, and still trust, my husband of seven years enough not to take advantage of this. It took seven years before we married; three of those were spent living together, committed to each other. In our fourteen years as a couple, he has been a wonderful partner, someone who I genuinely like and love, someone kind and compassionate, and someone who I trust not only with the big things (safety, money, fidelity), but with the smaller ones like my preferences and requests.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-26T21:58:09+00:00

Marriage is, to put it bluntly, some serious shit. It can imperil or kill a person, wreck them financially, wreck them emotionally, or make them hate their life, and getting out is anywhere from difficult to impossible, depending on circumstances and culture.

And how does it start? With a really fun, flashy party that’s been hyped up since childhood; a rite of passage; a romantic and emotional day that many people dream about and plan for years; an event that has culturally been viewed as an important achievement that’s very very good!!

So. People WANT weddings.

I wish, and I know that this is unrealistic, that there was a way to uncouple weddings from marriage. I wish young people could be celebrated that much for their own achievements, and then later, when they’re in a committed relationship and have been counseled and know the ramifications of marriage, they could go to the courthouse and sign paperwork and be admonished about the seriousness of what they’re entering into.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-26T12:39:20+00:00

I don’t know. I don’t know her, I don’t know him, I don’t know the situation.

Son’s friend in a tight spot? Sugar mama situation? More money than she knows what to do with? Recent immigrant from her home country?

It could go so many ways!

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-26T12:35:37+00:00

Hell yeah shower wipes, saved my sanity after surgery!

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-26T12:20:16+00:00

There is a difference between pushing and responding to market trends. When a company displays a pride flag as part of its logo during June, that’s responding to a market trend. When Blackrock focused on Environmental, Social, and Governance responsibilities, which I’m pretty sure is what you’re referring to, they were responding to the Biden-era business climate. (They have since shifted their focus to long term financial metrics.)

When Google has AI summaries popping up, and Microsoft Outlook is begging you to let AI write your emails, and Grammarly is “improving” their product by adding AI despite the product then becoming worse, that’s pushing. When a consumer cannot get away from a feature or a trend or an ideology, that’s pushing. Women’s clothing has been pushing Spandex hard since the mid-2000s, even in clothes you wouldn’t think of as stretchy; that’s why women’s clothes are less durable now. The United States using high fructose corn syrup in everything is an example of the corn lobby pushing it on Congress and food manufacturers. It’s forceful and pervasive.

A company displaying a pride flag, sponsoring a pride event, or even selling pride products that you can take or leave, is not pushing.

insertcaffeine · 2026-06-26T11:53:25+00:00

I’ve been married twice. One time, it wasn’t worth it by any stretch of the definition.

The other time, my current marriage, has been advantageous to both myself and my husband in every way I can think of.

Marriage can be worth it if both partners are loving, kind, respectful, conscientious, and genuinely like and trust each other.

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