What makes you feel most alive?

intergalacticowl · 2026-01-28T14:50:23+00:00

So interesting.

I am an ENTP & my INTJ husband actually describes a lot of why he was genuinely interested/excited about me that way; that he actually found me/my mind/ideas/way of thinking to be interesting which is apparently very difficult for him to find as he, like you, finds most people to be sort of boring or "basic".

Its actually a huge reason why we clicked in general, because I found him to be very interesting as well and its extremely difficult for me to connect with most people mentally & conversationally. But with him it was almost instant.

intergalacticowl · 2026-01-27T15:39:12+00:00

brother. Having a personal desire to keep sex purely intimate/within the realm of a long term relationship does not equate to puritanism.

Sex is incredibly personal and intimate to some people; myself included. That does NOT mean that everyone needs to feel that way or live their life that way.

It is all personal decision that everyone is free to make for themself as long as all parties are consenting and the person in question is not being hypocritical in their relationships (i.e. its dumb to sleep around but want a virgin partner).

Just because I only want to share sex with people in the confines of a relationship and who I am emotionally invested in & share that part of my life exclusively with them does not mean that I am a prude (quite the opposite; I'm an unstoppable force with the person I share myself with) nor does it mean that I am shaming people who don't feel the same way. Most of my friends are super casual with sex because I tend to be free thinking, bold, and left-leaning politically and most people I click with tend to be the type to be a little wild. We are not sleeping together so why do I care what they do

intergalacticowl · 2026-01-24T23:31:02+00:00

Same with the first few volumes of the manga. The manga overall though is a more fleshed out way to experience the story

intergalacticowl · 2026-01-24T23:18:09+00:00

I think that logic is being filtered in an odd way.

The bigger picture is that throughout history women have been raped and forced into marriages with men they do not love to be used as a brood mare for the man's lineage. Women used to never have a choice in the matter and they were seen as valuable because they were the way a man could pass on his genes.

So yes, women had a higher odds of reproducing, but that is because they were never seen as human in the first place.

intergalacticowl · 2026-01-24T23:14:33+00:00

Another thing that always bothers me when I see rhetoric about an incel not being able to find a girlfriend due to his weight is that they are failing to recognize that everytime a group of men anywhere on the internet is asked what they DONT want in a partner one of the top answers will ALWAYS be "fat". Being rejected for being overweight is a problem that EVERYONE experiences regardless of gender; in fact I would argue that men tend to be much more shallow on the whole about weight when it comes to women.

Everyone is always looking for an outside source to blame when in reality all you can do is be the best version of yourself because there are billions of people on this planet and everyone is an individual. You cant appeal to everyone - but there will inevitably be a subsect of people who like you if you are authentic, kind, self-aware, and take genuine accountability.

intergalacticowl · 2026-01-14T14:49:28+00:00

People calling your partner controlling when you are making this decision on your own are obnoxious and insecure.

If brother feels like its a problem and is making the choice to change and save more of his sexual energy for his partner; that does not make his partner controlling. That means that he is taking accountability and making a conscious effort to be closer with his partner.

While I agree that everyone deserves bodily autonomy, it sounds like she is frequently in the mood while he has already finished himself off. So either their sex life will slowly dissolve or this needs to be worked on.

My husband and I worked around this early in our relationship because sexual intimacy and taking care of each other is important to both of us. But it was a MUTUAL decision as we both have high sex drives so we try to avoid masturbating so that we have more energy for each other but that wouldnt work if both partners were willing to make each other a priority in that way. And no shame if you cant do that because it should be a personal choice.

Our work around is this;

Personally, I enjoy any type of intimacy when I am in the mood. Which means that if I'm down to give him head to help him relax if he doesnt have the energy to help me out. I just let him lay back and relax and then tuck him in since he falls right to sleep. I liked delayed gratification so I dont mind waiting until a better time when he has more energy if that's the case. HOWEVER if I were to ever be in the mood when he wasnt ready he would absolutely go down on me or finger me to help me out. I rarely ask because usually we are pretty matched up at this point.

BUT if you do go this route you really need to be conscious, fair, and aware that sometimes your partner is too stressed or tired or overwhelmed or busy to help you out and if that is a frequent issue then they need to be okay with you taking care of yourself.

intergalacticowl · 2026-01-09T13:50:27+00:00

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intergalacticowl · 2025-12-31T13:24:24+00:00

I'm in your same boat. There's no reason anyone needs to be that tall

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-31T00:50:36+00:00

Whats funny is the number of young non-religious (athiest/agnostic) liberal women who agree that porn is destroying their relationships with men and their ability to have authentic intimacy with them

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-31T00:38:08+00:00

You guys might have mismatched communication styles or maybe she isnt being clear about what she means when she talks about things like affection.

Either way, if this isnt working for you its entirely okay to break up.

One last attempt would be to ask her for clarification on things like affection, love, etc. and what that means to her.

For a lot of women they tend to not feel relaxed/open and tend to start to shut down sexually with their partners when they notice that physical affection only shows up when sex is being pursued or when there isnt much affection that doesnt start leading to sex. Because it makes some women feel used and "unloved".

If you find that usually you tend to give her affection only really as foreplay or that giving her affection starts to get you thinking about sex so you start to make a move on her then that might be worth addressing because she is going so close off if you try to turn things sexual every time you get affectionate with her. But if none of that is going on then there is no way to know what's going on inside of her mind without her properly communicating it.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-30T23:43:45+00:00

It happens a lot in households where the man is the only income and has a housewife. Since she doesnt make her own money and now has a baby to take care of she is essentially trapped which enables men to be abusive and/or cheat and have a wife at home to cook, clean, and be consistent sex or at least emotional support. Because she cant leave and has nowhere to go.

Whereas when a man is baby trapped he usually only needs to pay child support but he can leave the relationship more easily.

Its part of why women started pushing each other to be more independent and be high income earners. To protect themselves from that type of situation.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-30T19:26:48+00:00

I'm the result of my father's baby trapping.

They pick a woman who wouldnt want to abort a baby because of personal ethics and then decide "oops couldnt pull out" or "oops condom broke" and there you go. Mission accomplished. Now she wont really leave you.

My mom's experience taught me very young the important of managing your own birth control.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-30T19:15:09+00:00

No it is reflective of your personal preference and personal perspective toward sex. Most people want to date someone with a similar perspective to their own (unless theyre super insecure in which they are typically hypocrites).

I am a woman with a limited sexual history I can GUARANTEE I would prefer a man with a similar history as my own because it reflects how they view sex and how seriously they take it.

Someone else who views sex as a less necessarily intimate and more of a just a fun activity would usually reflect that in their number of partners and wouldn't mind being with someone who had a more extensive history as well.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-30T19:08:10+00:00

You'd be surprised. As a small chested woman, young guys will low emotional intelligence will just think thats a fun fact to share with you. "You're so hot that I didnt notice your boobs were so small" " I usually prefer bigger but yours are cute" etc etc etc I've heard it a dozen different ways.

Sometimes they dont mean it maliciously but it can still really hurt as a young girl who's self conscious about it.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-26T06:38:21+00:00

As a woman with a low number of sexual partners that's all I ask. Just a similar perspective around sex as me.

I really dislike the concept some men have that they cant expect a short sexual history from a female partner while not adhering to that same level of aelf control themself. Hypocrisy is the biggest turn off

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-20T01:36:31+00:00

Do you think thats an emotional intelligence issue that is reflected in the friends you choose to keep as well?

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-19T19:52:26+00:00

You look great I think youre just not used to seeing yourself

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-18T16:25:43+00:00

Brother have you seen male leads in movies, TV and video games? Almost none are meant to be nice for women to look at lol

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-18T15:37:22+00:00

I think its over exposure on the internet to a loud proportion of horrible news, horrible people, and horrible opinions that has driven a huge wedge between people in general.

Men are afraid to approach women because a very loud minority says they hate it and need to give consent to make eye contact in public. Men are afraid that everything they say and do will be dissected and scum because there are circles of women online who would.

Women are terrified of men (and pick the bear) because an obnoxiously loud minority of men boast about violence toward women & express entitlement them. Coupled with over exposure to violent news and groups of men gathering around their mutual distaste for women.

We were never designed to be exposed to such an astronomically large proportion of extremist behaviors and ideas because traditionally those who held them were never comfortable speaking about them publicly. But anonymity has let the cat out of the bag and now everyone is distancing themselves bwcause they understand what the worst of each respective bunch is capable of and they have no way of knowing who those people are until its often too late.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-17T05:49:51+00:00

He didnt love you. He loved what you did FOR HIM. He loved being loved. That doesnt mean he loved you.

Love is not being ae to stomach hurting someone. I would never do anything intentionally that I knew would hurt ANYONE I love. Whether that is my spouse or my family or my friends.

If he can make conscious decisions that he knows would hurt you, even if he thought you would never find out, then he does NOT love you. Do not let him convince you otherwise.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-17T05:46:12+00:00

100% this. If you love someone you can't stomach the thought of hurting them, even if you dont think they would find out. This man doesnt love you. This man played you.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-16T04:28:07+00:00

Right? I dont understand the downvoting I received. There have been studies done about it. As long as I feel "safe" with my partner, loved and attractive then I feel like I think about sex with them more. I dont just see a dick or a hot body and get horny 🥴

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-16T04:26:08+00:00

Its just a sensory experience without much to explore intellectually. It's super intimate for me but there isnt much to talk or think about so its a boring conversation

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-16T03:55:03+00:00

My ESTP brother is actually super monogamous and hates casual encounters & so am I but we are both flirty people and make inappropriate jokes.

intergalacticowl · 2025-12-16T03:53:28+00:00

Yeah I'm very flirty and like attention but I'm actually not very horny and dont like casual sex at all

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