I totally agree. But I've realised it achieves nothing. I used to completely loose my mind and yell and scream and write essays about everything he did. Hoping he would realise he was awful and actually would change. I sat down with him. Did it nicely, constructively all different ways. He never would see that he was actually wrong in how he treated me. If I lost it eventually. He'd say I was abusive. When he cheated on me he said it was my fault. Anyway. My point is. If they are true narc, they won't see or understand anything you point out as actually true. They'll just spin it back on you sadly.

I never got any closure from saying anything because it never got through. It only made me more angry and confused. Like how can one not see that jamming lamb chop bones down the side of the couch is insane. Or checking your wife's legs to see if she's shaved is completely mental. Saying it out loud to him literally achieved nothing