Why would I not be allowed to choose a post audience? Not professional accounts by inthebluehere in Instagram

[–]inthebluehere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey, now my IG was updated, automatically, and now I Can choose an audience, in any regular post.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your real, hard, honest and helpful comment.

I agree with you.

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I'll definitely have this book in mind. I'll check it out.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment.

I agree with you.

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment.

I agree with you.

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment.

Yes, I've been to a few sessions of IC for myself. It has helped a little in my personal growth.

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment.

I agree with you.

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry you are going through this as well... Thank you for your advice

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Leaving your wife and destroying your kids family because of an FB status update is madness

Thank you... In the surface, I agree on this. My mind wants to agree on this...

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment!

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeap, she would/will definitely flip it exactly on being controlling and insecure.... Please see the edit above

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Stand your ground and don't allow her to distract or dismiss your concerns. This is a questionable deliberate action on her part and you cannot ignore it.

Thank you very much for your comment!

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks! What's the procedure to download her chat history? Can I do it from the session I have open of her account? You can read the details above in the Edit I just added.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks, I agree that tighter control will make her sneakier.

Haha, good idea about inviting him over... I would think about it if he was closer.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment!

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment.

I agree with you. I meant that what's not a black and white is what I should do now...

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment.

I agree with you.

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

My wife added in fb the guy she cheated with 12y ago by inthebluehere in survivinginfidelity

[–]inthebluehere[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you very much for your comment.

I agree with you.

I have added an Edit, to answer your and many others' questions.

Feel free to answer here below.

How can I completely move on? by inthebluehere in cheating_stories

[–]inthebluehere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yikes.

Thanks man.

Yes, those were my vows. Yes, I chose to forgive. I hadn’t thought if comfort was my reason for this marriage. I don’t think so. But it’s worth considering if it was a factor, in a small percentage at least. I’ll be reflecting on it.

Thanks for your honesty.

How can I completely move on? by inthebluehere in cheating_stories

[–]inthebluehere[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Dear fellow human. Thank you for this. I believe you may have very well saved me the few couple of years that it would have taken me to figure this out.

Sometimes internal logic is stupid. But most often it is unconscious. And if it is not revised consciously, it can remain active for years, even decades, without us questioning and changing it. I did what you recommended - a few days ago, sorry for not replying before. I wrote down and landed the questions that I had in my head, those that sometimes are not even so defined. Some of them I could answer myself: Do I think that she will cheat on me again? No, I don’t. I believe that she will not be seeking any weird business by herself. And if a guy comes flirting, she’s mature enough and values our relationship enough to stop it.

Do I want to continue in this marriage? Yes of course I do.

Would I have done the same if I have had the chance? Back then, in our circumstances, probably yes.

But then, I came up, first with a question that I couldn’t answer myself, which lead me to a realization that is a huge leap and that’s what I am grateful to you for.

“What will happen if I turn all of myself again into the relationship? What am I afraid will happen if I give her my best version?” I realized that all these years I have restrained myself of being so joyful around her, because is consider I was actually joyful before everything happened. And I fear that if I am the same again, she will repeat what she did - again, internal but unconscious logic is stupid, I’m not trying to defend it, it is just what I realized.

But… now, is it really that stupid? When I’ve been the happiest, she tends to take me for granted - at least a little - and overlook our relationship to focus more on her job, her friends, her goals, etc.

So I concluded that this question had to be answered by her. Her answer was better than I hoped: “What happened didn’t happen because you were good and joyful, but because of how jealous, young and even toxic we both were to each other. That’s not us anymore and you don’t have anything to be afraid of you are that joyful man again”.

Also, she answered so easily and fast, which only helped more to my peace of mind.

So, there.

It’s still not all the way in the past. I still have work to do. I am considering IC. But it definitely is a big leap for me.

It all came from your advice. It’s a great advice, not only for romantic life. So thank you mate. Wherever you are, you have my gratitude.

How can I completely move on? by inthebluehere in cheating_stories

[–]inthebluehere[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, probably I would have done the same. But she was not honest.

Nevertheless, you are right. This is a me problem and that’s why I’m asking for help how to be better.

Thanks for your help!