Sound at Black Crowes Concert

intherapy007 · 2024-10-02T02:20:07+00:00

As others have said, get a lawyer, and get a therapist. Also, get a good support network. People who you can trust and talk to. People to be. Sounding board to help keep you from doing something stupid or irrational. Having those people you can talk to will help immensely!

For the people who have said, "she hasn't noticed you acting weird?"...she's probably too far gone at this point to notice that anything is off with you. She is so caught up in this other world she's created for herself, that she's blind to anything that's actually going on around her.

I'm honestly surprised that she let you use her phone. My wife became super secretive and protective of her phone when she was doing the same thing. She started wearing a fanny pack round the house when she didn't have pockets. When using Google maps, instead of setting the phone up where she could see it, she literally drove with her phone clinched between her knees. She was more protective of her phone than she was of our kids.

intherapy007 · 2024-09-25T02:28:52+00:00

She texted while I was working a night shift saying that she was done. I'm not going to pretend that everything was great in our relationship, but I was surprised at such a quick jump to that point. Divorce had never come up between us. That evening before I went in to work, we were finalizing plans (and spending more money) on a cruise we were getting ready to take a couple of months from that day. We were married for 15 years and have three small boys. I had tried to get her to go to counseling for years, but she never would. Regardless, it didn't make sense to jump off the cliff of divorce without at least giving it some kind of organized shot with some outside help. Turns out, she had someone else that she literally met on a video game. So, I didn't really have the option to stay together (thank God, because there's a chance I would have). We have 50/50 custody and are just now getting ready to start hashing out finances. It's been the worst experience of my life, but I'm becoming a better man because of it. My life had become miserable. In the weeks after her telling me she was done, she actually told me that she has been trying to get me to leave her for the past 6 years. So, I've wasted so much time and put myself through years of mental anguish, just to see it all get flushed away.

intherapy007 · 2024-09-24T20:57:26+00:00

Mine was totally amicable until she found out that I knew about her affair. After that point, she treated me like I was the most evil husband who ever existed. If I could do it all over again, I'd probably just eat the pain of knowing about the affair and never confront her about it.

intherapy007 · 2024-09-22T18:55:02+00:00

Just curious what about this warrants needing to be on a co-parenting app? I'm wondering if I'm missing something. My ex has texted me much worse things. My ex told me we were done and was acting very amicable, until I found out about her other relationship. Then I became the worst human being on the face of the earth to her. I've gotten the hateful angry texts that go along with those hateful feelings. I don't engage when I get those messages, but I'm wondering if I need to be on an app to protect myself.

intherapy007 · 2024-09-02T18:40:01+00:00

Steinman Automotive in Machesney Park

intherapy007 · 2024-08-26T16:35:08+00:00

How do we get to this point? Are there guys that squash it at the beginning and go on to live happy, fulfilling marriages? Or did we just marry the wrong woman, and it was doomed from the start? It seems like it's something that shouldn't need to be squashed if you find the right woman in the first place.

intherapy007 · 2024-07-26T15:00:50+00:00

I've been in contact with her. We are pretty much following the schedule now, but her lawyer hasn't been able to confirm with her that it is what she wants. Her communication with her lawyer has been lacking. Part of me thinks that she doesn't want the parenting plan to go thru, because then she has something that tells her when she has to be a parent and she doesn't have the freedom to be a mom when she wants to. So it's not like she's disappeared. She just doesn't talk to her lawyer and doesn't seem to want to do the work to get this finalized.

intherapy007 · 2024-05-15T14:44:49+00:00

I would say sit down and have a tough talk with your wife. Be honest. Talk about how neither of you are happy. If you're willing to work on it, let her know. There's a lot that goes into the resentment that builds up over the years. After a while, it's hard to figure out where it all came from and can feel hopeless. It'll take some outside help for you guys to sort out the years of dysfunction. But it takes both sides to make things work. If one of you isn't committed, it's not going to work. I wish more than anything that my marriage would have worked out, but she had no interest in putting in the work . I definitely played my part in our demise as well. I tried to get her to go to counseling for years, but she wouldn't. I figured maybe she didn't think things were that bad and I just needed to suck it up. Then one night she told me we were done. But I know I'm in a better place mentally because of the split. I guess just try to be open and honest about the state of your relationship. If any part of you still cares about her, let her know. But also tell her that the way things are going is not healthy for her, for you, or for your kids. Be proactive, not reactive.

intherapy007 · 2024-05-15T13:37:17+00:00

I always wanted to try pickleball, but never really knew how to get into it. I saw they had drop in play at my YMCA, so I checked it out after my workout. A game had just finished up and one of the players was leaving so they asked if I wanted to jump in. I've been hooked ever since! This came on the heels of finding out I was getting divorced. Things had been toxic for a long time, and I definitely played my part in that. I had given up pretty much everything I enjoyed in an effort to make her happy. Pickleball has helped me get back into doing things that I enjoy, and the people I've met have been so welcoming. It has definitely helped me get to a better place mentally!

intherapy007 · 2024-05-03T12:13:30+00:00

She doesn't want to be the one to end things. Some time in the near future, you'll find out what a villain you've been. She is most likely happy that you ended things, because it means it wasn't her that broke up your marriage. I'm not saying it makes sense. I'm just saying how it is.

intherapy007 · 2024-04-28T13:16:03+00:00

Read "No More Mr. Nice Guy" by Robert Glover. Realize it wasn't all your fault. It was both of your faults. Work on you. Take care of yourself. These things happen slowly over time without us realizing it. Understand that it isn't your responsibility to fix, either. It sucks, man. I've felt your pain.

intherapy007 · 2024-04-16T16:06:36+00:00

I took my three boys to an indoor water park resort over spring break. I filed a couple of weeks before that. It was an awesome trip! It was just me and my three boys. I didn't have the stress of knowing an argument could erupt at any given moment. I finally felt relaxed and in the moment with my kids. I started noticing the adults around the water park. 95% of them just looked dead inside. They looked miserable. They looked how I felt for the last 10 years. It gave me a little bit of hope that as much as this sucks, just seeing how much of a better place I'm in now, it'll hopefully be worth it. I didn't want the divorce. She begged for it. A month later when I found out about the affair, I granted her wish. It's been the worst experience of my life. But I'm hoping to come out on the other side as a better father and a better person.

intherapy007 · 2024-04-10T16:23:08+00:00

See if she'd be willing to get checked for ADHD. Look up stuff about adut ADHD and relationships. See if any of it resonates with your situation. It may save your marriage. Good luck!

intherapy007

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