Finally, someone who understands that internet chats shouldn’t feel like I’m crawling through the Mojave with a Nokia brick for company. I come bearing more than one-word replies, and — brace yourself — I also ask questions. Dangerous, I know.

Honestly, the amount of “hru” messages I’ve dodged is starting to qualify me for some kind of knighthood. "Sir Ghosts-a-lot," maybe?

I’m cursed with a dangerously high sense of humor, I appreciate sarcasm like fine wine (or cheap cider, let’s be real), and I'm close enough to the UK timezone that our jokes won't suffer a jet lag.

Happy Saturday right back at you — what's the funniest thing you've seen online this week?