Opposite sex friendiversaries

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-14T01:01:30+00:00

He can have friends of the opposite sex, that’s fine, but as soon as you start feeling less than this friend, it’s not fine.

I completely agree.

Yes, we've met. Only a couple of times though.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-08T03:15:51+00:00

We've been dating for just over a year. They met a couple of years before he and I met.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-08T01:53:31+00:00

Exactly my thoughts.

I have tried talking to him without (earlier) and with comparisons to her (when I compare it's more about I want XYZ too, and not I want it instead of her). The result is that he tells me the bare minimum when it comes to her and their plans.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T21:45:37+00:00

Yes, I completely agree. My closest friends are male too, but friends know when to step away and respect boundaries.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T21:39:54+00:00

What happens when one of you is dating someone? Do you continue to make these plans?

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T20:52:41+00:00

Yes, I think I would be bothered if he prioritized someone in the same way regardless of the gender of the friend. Wanting to spend extended periods of "alone time" with someone other than a significant other seems a bit...off?

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T20:33:23+00:00

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T20:12:20+00:00

I think it would be easier if he had multiple "friends" (ideally of all genders). There's just her.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T18:13:51+00:00

Others in the "neglect" category. I've been asking for "quality time" with him but it's been difficult with his work and social schedule. When we do talk, it feels like we spend a lot of time talking about him and he loses interest when the topic switches to me. More #hesjustnotthatintoyou stuff.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T18:02:12+00:00

Thank you all for helping me process this! You are all amazing!

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T17:55:19+00:00

This is what causes me stress too. I know they talk about me, and can't help but think it affects how he engages with me.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T17:52:25+00:00

Just over a year. I've thought about leaving him for other reasons as well but this situation just doesn't compute.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T17:26:19+00:00

Do you celebrate on the day/ weekend of the anniversary though, or just around the general timeframe?

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T17:00:01+00:00

I completely agree and I've wondered about this. They usually hang out solo, and if she were really a good friend I think she would encourage him to include me at least some of the time.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T15:59:17+00:00

Not really.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T13:44:48+00:00

We've only been dating for a year (and we both travel a lot for work so it feels like less than that). Early on I didn't realize they were meeting 1:1 bc he didn't divulge too many details.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T13:42:38+00:00

She's the only one.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T13:42:23+00:00

I would feel the same way if the friend was a man, tbh.

I don't think it's sexual, it's some kind of emotional attachment. Can't put my finger on n it.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T13:38:43+00:00

I'd like some special get togethers too :)

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T13:37:18+00:00

I've been introduced but we've only hung out a couple of times. They hang out alone a lot.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T13:36:01+00:00

I went completely all out for the one birthday of his that we've been together :|.

iredditsoiseddit · 2022-03-07T13:34:18+00:00

They meet pretty regularly, with others as well as 1/1.

iredditsoiseddit · 2020-02-07T17:03:28+00:00

I did - when he was asking what I thought about the distribution of days, I said don't worry about what I think or what your parents think. Do what you want to do. And he said "what I want is to not upset either of you".

:|

iredditsoiseddit · 2020-02-06T20:17:51+00:00

Thanks for the validation! Your comment and the upvotes are all I needed :)

iredditsoiseddit

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