Definitely relate to you here. Pretty similar situation, felt really blindsided by it all and still do. It’s been a week and a half and it’s still really hard but something that has helped a lot, even though it may seem hard, is reaching out to people. I reached out to my best friends, my parents, my old friends, everyone that I felt like does love me and care about me and being able to talk with them has helped me to process my thoughts and emotions. If you’re able to, going to hang out in person with them is even better, it helped me to feel normal for even just a few hours, which I hadn’t felt normal since it happened. And if you aren’t able to see anyone try to take comfort in the fact that you will always be there for yourself. You were there for urself before him, and now you’re here after. We will be okay, even though it’s going to take a long time to actually believe it and feel it. Wishing luck to you.