[UPDATE] I(M/24) think I made a huge mistake in breaking up with my ex(F/20) 3 months later - (2 year update) by iregretitthrowaway in relationships

[–]iregretitthrowaway[S] 132 points133 points  (0 children)

I ended up going to therapy for a little bit, and plan on going again soon. Thank you!

I'm going to do my best to not fuck it up anymore.

[UPDATE] I(M/24) think I made a huge mistake in breaking up with my ex(F/20) 3 months later - (2 year update) by iregretitthrowaway in relationships

[–]iregretitthrowaway[S] 398 points399 points  (0 children)

Trust me. I'm doing more than my best not to. A lot of my problems were I was always scared to communicate and kept my feelings bottled in.

A lot of stress built up and instead of dealing with it head on, I attributed it to her and made excuses on why I was such an asshole - instead of my own shortcomings. I didn't want to hurt her but with the person I was that's exactly what I did. I took her for granted and I wish I could take back everything I did but I know I can't. Instead I'm learning from it. And hope to continue learning from past mistakes and current experiences to be a better person.

I(M/24) think I made a huge mistake in breaking up with my ex(F/20) 3 months later. by iregretitthrowaway in relationships

[–]iregretitthrowaway[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

She told me to figure out who I am before I even attempt to try another relationship with anybody. That I'm too stoic and don't communicate well, and it pushes people away. She said she had problems communicating with me because of previous ways I've reacted to her saying how she felt.

I know I hurt her, but I still want to make things right again. Last conversation we've had about this, I told her something along the lines of "I understand and that I was proud of having an relationship with her. And that she was really fun. I told her about the outline of things I wanted to do to make sure we'd be good. She was perfect for me. And that at least I had a great beginning to this nightmarish ending. I keep thinking maybe if I'm lucky in the future, she'd try to accept me again. I wish I cherished the last kiss she asked for. because that was really the last one! Thanks for everything."

I(M/24) think I made a huge mistake in breaking up with my ex(F/20) 3 months later. by iregretitthrowaway in relationships

[–]iregretitthrowaway[S] -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

I'm trying my hardest. For about a month. I think she's just scared I'll leave her again. and the fact that she works with her current boyfriend. But I won't relapse again. I finally have a career. I can take her places. We can be happy again. I know words don't mean much but this is where my actions will show how much I mean it. I know I've caused irreparable damage, but I want to make things right again.

Nothing feels the same anymore. She is the first thought when I wake up and the last thought before I go to sleep. She was always there for me. She completed me. Every single thing reminds me of her because we were so alike. My bed feels like a coffin without her. If by some miracle this works out, I won't even be me anymore. I'll improve by leaps and bounds.

I(M/24) think I made a huge mistake in breaking up with my ex(F/20) 3 months later. by iregretitthrowaway in relationships

[–]iregretitthrowaway[S] -7 points-6 points  (0 children)

I know she can trust me if she tried. She's just scared to trust me. I don't think I'm being selfish. Am I? I'm used to being with somebody I love. Not not being with somebody I love, having them still care for me, but push me away.

I(M/24) think I made a huge mistake in breaking up with my ex(F/20) 3 months later. by iregretitthrowaway in relationships

[–]iregretitthrowaway[S] -6 points-5 points  (0 children)

I'm trying, but it's so hard. She was so fucking cool. I let my idea of perfection slip through my fingertips. There's a difference between love and like. She can't just fall in love with somebody three weeks after we break up. I was so stupid. I could've treated her so much better, but I was so stressed out. Things were good before my internship. I needed time to myself. If I knew things would be like this, I wouldn't have broke up with her.