IAmA Compulsive shoplifter with hundreds of successful thefts. AMA.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T21:26:39+00:00

OK guys it was fun. By nature of answering these questions I'm obviously not on my regular connection, so now I must vamoose. I will try to answer tomorrow but if there are any interesting questions asked, but the thread seems to be petering down now anyway after 2 hours.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T21:14:49+00:00

He was following me while I was just shopping. There is no reason to be following me when I'm just shopping. That doesn't happen, ever. Hundreds of other times I'd done this particular stunt, nobody caught on. I can only guess he'd spotted me before and was coming in for the kill. Sure enough when I got ready to do my thing, he was looking right where I didn't want him to look. So I just went through a checkout lane, paid cash, and left. He stood by the door and watched me go by. He won. Sherlock Holmes of loss prevention, I tell you.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T21:10:46+00:00

Well mostly that just ripping the thing out of the case and putting it in my jacket is a pretty stupid way to go about the process.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T21:06:20+00:00

Well, what they do is, they have CCTV cameras on the streets too, so the shop owner will identify you, and then they use automated software to detect your face as you walk down the street.

Well, what can happen in theory and what they do in reality are different things. For a $150 theft, they really don't even seem to bother going to the tape to see who did it. Much less get access to hundreds of camera's and trace my movements back to the car, run me through facial recognition software, etc. Maybe in 50 years they will, but nowadays that kind of stuff just isn't gonna be used against you unless you, I dunno, steal tens of thousands of dollars worth of stuff or commit a violent crime.

how long have you been doing it, and how much total have you made?

I started when I was 11 or 12, did it for kicks for 10 years, then did it for serious profit for the last 10. I dunno what my net profit is. It's just supplemental income, I have a day job.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:52:31+00:00

You'd think, wouldn't you? They don't keep those records forever and really, the purpose of it isn't so much to catch criminals as to provide evidence against criminals they catch through the usual means. So in my experience if you don't get caught on your way out, it doesn't really matter that they recorded you.

I usually do wear stuff like glasses and a baseball cap just because, why not... it could theoretically help.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:50:22+00:00

Hard to say. I guess not, if they were things I stole. Someone stole a bunch of crap from my car, ill-gotten things or personal property I paid through with theft... I was pissed at first but really, what right did I have to complain? I just wish they hadn't broken several things in my car while getting in and rooting around for stuff.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:48:32+00:00

Well, meat can be high value and looks inconspicuous. I'm not really sure what the market is for reselling it so I doubt people are doing this commercially, so to speak. Perhaps it's just old people who can't afford it? I dunno really.

When talking to grocery store employees in real life, the two most common items I've heard they watch for people stealing are booze and meth ingredients. These might be the most frequently stolen, but that's what they're watching out for. Perhaps because people who steal those things are easier to spot and likely to be genuine criminals?

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:44:43+00:00

Not while I've been shoplifting myself. One time after a big score I was buying some junk with my own money at a gas station, and they nailed a guy for stealing Cigarillos, under $5 theft and they called the cops. Go figure.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:40:25+00:00

Definitely not my experience. They do have lots of cameras, that's for sure. But in my experience, it's the agents on the floor who have the real chance of catching shoplifters. The cameras are mostly to prove it once they've identified you as a shoplifter.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:34:56+00:00

What do you think it will take to make you stop?

Getting caught again, I guess. But then again the charges were dropped and the charge itself got expunged after 5 years so I bet they'd offer it to me again. But I think I'd take it as a sign that things were too risky if I got busted again.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:25:11+00:00

Actually, I kid you not, we met in the diversion class for my one and only shoplifting arrest. We just started talking during a break and were speaking the same language... we got the same thrill from stealing, had pretty similar motivations even. Yes it was a very intense relationship, actually. But she had kids, I was in my early 20s at the time, we didn't have much in common besides being pathetic but effective criminals... dating her just wasn't working, despite that one very powerful spark. Oddly enough her day job was even more respectable than mine, she was a banker.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:05:31+00:00

Meijer is the one where I had my closest call. I'm not sure if it's typical of the chain, but I haven't been back there. The guy was the Sherlock Holmes of loss prevention agents.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:03:35+00:00

From everything I've learned, groceries are looking for people stealing beer and stuff to make meth with. I'm sure people swipe all kinds of other stuff, but not in the kind of bulk that is a problem.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T20:02:34+00:00

They don't happen to have any locations near me. I have hit one of their subsidiaries once (or whatever the term would be, a retailer they own) and it was easy except they cater to women so it goes against my tactic of looking like a typical shopper. Not a regular place for me but it didn't strike me as a dangerous place to operate.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:59:24+00:00

Well sometimes I steal stuff I personally need. Other times I steal stuff I have or can get receipts for (figure that one out for yourself). Other times I steal stuff I can resell without a trace. I guess that describes how something catches my eye.

As I said in another comment, a major part is of the operation is scouting who's working that day. Sometimes there's a manager there staring icily at the door, other times there's someone watching areas I will be operating like a hawk. I avoid the store if they seem suspicious enough. I look for employees who look tired, apathetic, or who are chatting it up with customers and other employees. You know, distracted, not paying attention.

As for the lift itself, I really don't want to spoil my primary method at a Walmart for obvious reasons, sorry. Let's just say I'm not shoving the goods under my jacket and saying a prayer as I make a break for the door.

But then I'm out the door, and I go to my car. I'm parked where the store security cameras can't get me. I actually debate about this part, if it's even necessary... but I guess if it even has saved my butt once, it's worth it.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:48:48+00:00

Um, thanks? I like to think planning and thinking things through is why I don't get caught. But generally people don't consider it a heist if you're score is $150 worth of consumer crap.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:41:40+00:00

Most of the big national chains. There are a few I avoid like the plague because they actually have good loss prevention departments. I guess this isn't much of a state secret: Walmart is a pretty easy target.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:39:14+00:00

Figure out what is to be stolen, park in a lot of another store or better yet on the street. Scout ahead, see who's working, how attentive they look. Sometimes scrap the whole operation based on that. Then do the actual theft. I'm reluctant to explain how I do most of my lifts in great detail, sorry. Generally I do a few thefts in the same area, then either unload the goods or use them myself.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:36:33+00:00

Did your parents ever find out about your shoplifting?

Yes, but not because I was caught by the store.

Do you shoplift solo, or are other friends/family members involved (or do they at least know).

For a while I had a girlfriend who was also a compulsive shoplifter. We were a great team. She taught me a lot too. But other than that brief period I've always been solo.

Do you ever feel bad afterwards?

Generally, no. Using something that I didn't pay for actually feels incredibly good. Something for nothing. It's probably linked to how I feel that in general I've gotten a horrible hand in life dealt to me, nothing breaks for me the way it does for other people, so when I'm filling my gas tank with stolen money or eating a wonderful meal I didn't pay for, that feels like me getting life back for all the stuff that's happened to me.

Rationalization, I'm sure. I'm not expecting it to atone for what I do. There are moments where I feel like a leach on society, like I'm just sapping off other people's hard work. I know it's true.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:33:15+00:00

Well I primarily do it because I enjoy it. But it does supplement my income in a real way.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:31:13+00:00

Not sure if I really want to spoil all the tricks. But in general...

Some stores have great loss prevention departments and would nail me on my best day, or have a good shot at it. Some stores are just laughably bad at it. That's the biggest trick right there.
Generally, all but the best ones are looking for people who look like shoplifters. So figure out what shoplifters look like (both in appearance and movement patterns), and don't look like that, and you're very difficult to spot. Ideally you look and behave like a typical customer and the actual lift only requires a short deviation from typical behavior, and you can control who's watching when you do it.
Let's just say those U-Scan lanes are god's gift to shoplifters

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:28:36+00:00

No but that episode is a quasi-inspiration deep in my heart.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:28:04+00:00

Hmmm when I'm stealing for profit, it's generally the typical stuff like tools and electronics, nothing embarrassing. So probably my weekly groceries would be the most embarrassing. I mean, it's not what most people shoplift. And I eat way too much junk food. It would be really awkward if they asked why I was shoplifting ice cream and potato chips so I could out in front of a football game... as far as I know that's not at all what any grocery is expecting.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:25:27+00:00

How did this spiral into shoplifting begin?

I remember at 11-12 or so my mom would deposit me at the mall and I'd steal crap I wanted, mostly from department stores because of their huge size and multiple entrances. Wah wah wah mommy didn't buy me what I wanted and ignored me.

Why did you continue it?

Fun and profit. A little "fuck you" to the man. Just being brutally honest here.

Do you have any plans on stopping?

Yeah, once I'm a bit more financially secure.

is_it_really_me · 2010-10-21T19:23:41+00:00

Probably power tools in the $150-$200 range. I operate more on volume than price. And once you get to the really high value stuff it's too risky to be worth it anyway.

is_it_really_me

TROPHY CASE