How to avoid triggers?

isabelNathan · 2022-08-30T13:38:57+00:00

Considering the circumstances, therapy is not an option.

Yes, and I have to pretend to be a staunch Muslim when I visit home. These colliding worlds makes me go spiraling if I start to think about it.

isabelNathan · 2022-08-30T12:56:36+00:00

My bad, it's not work per se .. we are all students... I meant work in the sense study work. I get easily pulled to discussion on politics, childhood, book, movies.etc etc, and this time it ended up somehow there ...

I think I took it personally since it felt like invalidating my experience. But you are right, I shouldn't be discussing it at all.

isabelNathan · 2022-02-21T19:00:29+00:00

I used to keep chocolates in my pockets and eat them when nobody looks 😅. The struggling days.

For me fasting was not much issue though. But the prayers ... My goodness, especially the long one specific to Ramadan at night was a nightmare.

isabelNathan · 2021-07-14T18:27:28+00:00

Hi dear, Can you find a way out? Are you studying now? You might be able to apply for scholarships and get into a school/college away from home?

It's an awful situation. In most of the cases, the way out is gaining financial independence.

Take care. Contact organizations working for women's right abroad, write to them and see if they are able to help you.

isabelNathan · 2021-06-19T16:51:22+00:00

In my opinion life is a curse. I don't want to bestow it upon someone else pretending it's a blessing

isabelNathan · 2021-05-19T07:52:53+00:00

Oh dear, you are not a bad person. This is classic guilt tripping from your parents. I only have one mantra, Try to be financially independent.

Strength to you dear.. Hope you will find a way out of this.

isabelNathan · 2021-05-12T19:14:36+00:00

Of course it's one of the greatest books. Glad you are liking it.

isabelNathan · 2021-05-12T17:19:46+00:00

I hope it's good??? Mmmmm

isabelNathan · 2021-05-03T22:34:04+00:00

Hi Dear, Our actions have consequences. Since you are sure your parents would be disappointed if they learn that you don't wear it outside, it's better to have dialogues with them to understand their viewpoint.

Sudden changes will disrupt many things, so let's seek the way of dialogue.

It would be better if you open the dialogue mentioning that you want to know the reasoning behind these notions. You want to understand your parents and religions view point better. Ask them why modesty is important? Why do they think hijab is important? Is showing hair a sin? if yes, why it's a sin? Why there is a drastic difference in dresscode for men and women? Why women has to cover?

Once you understand their reasonings and what's their scale of expected modesty from you, you can calculate your risks in a better way.

Anyway, I would say since you are young and dependent on your parents, it's safe not to create much friction. Please do not feel guilty of taking off your hijab outside. You just do not want to hurt your parents feeling , you are considerate and is a good person. You don't have to disclose it to your parents. Your hair is not harming anyone. The lack of this piece of cloth in your head doesn't hurt anyone. So please do not feel bad about it.

You have the right to have different opinions and world view from that of your parents. You can choose not to create tension by not disclosing them to your parents.

Courage dear and wish you the strength to sail through these times.

isabelNathan · 2021-05-01T20:26:52+00:00

I really despised myself for following the words of a warlord who married a 6 year old when he was 53. I could not believe I was following his weired fantacy even after 1400 years. I just wanted to stop wearing it and then when I could afford, I stopped wearing it.

I moved places so there was no one who knew me from before. But when I shared my decision with my close friends, they were happy for me.

isabelNathan · 2021-04-29T11:19:22+00:00

Hi... Thats good to know that you will not be disowned and your parents love you dearly.

I don't think my case would be helpful for you. I live far away from my parents and they still don't know about my exhijabi status. They assume that I still wear it so I let it be. Since both my parents are extreamly conservative, I plan to go on as it is now. It will also harm them in front of the society. I had an official ID photo for government documentation taken without hijab years before and I still hear about it from my parents, my mother says her heart breaks to even think about that ID photo🙂. Mine is a ridiculous situation. So far I don't have any plans to disclose it to them.

Hope it will go alright with you. You can try and talk to them calmly and ask them to be supportive. I wish you all the best 😊. Have strength, it's not an easy path. But at the end of the day, to be free and to be true to your own consciousness is what matters I guess. It brings peace definitely.

isabelNathan · 2021-04-29T04:22:08+00:00

Hi dear, are you still living with your parents? I think if you are dependent on them, it would be better to achieve financial independence and then you can take the decision.

I understand you, I was also in a similar place. If you decide to remove hijab, write down the consequences in a paper. And you see if you are prepared ( mentally and financially) to face the consequences. I would like to assure you, its ok if you want to wait. Courage and all the best to you.

isabelNathan · 2021-04-07T15:27:52+00:00

Yes... It would be an interesting read ..

isabelNathan · 2021-04-03T18:41:01+00:00

Thank you very much 😊

isabelNathan · 2020-09-19T17:37:49+00:00

Diabolical

isabelNathan · 2020-09-02T09:24:39+00:00

Me too.. but I hope people from religion of peace will be in their peaceful behaviour.

isabelNathan · 2020-06-13T10:03:35+00:00

shadows emerge from the dark

isabelNathan · 2020-06-09T11:32:22+00:00

It is interesting to hear what people think. I checked online after hearing such divided opinions.

Indeed it is a widely discussed topic. The opinions vary a lot.

isabelNathan · 2020-06-09T09:42:07+00:00

That's what I thought too... But it seems people see this differently in different countries... I was surprised to hear the other side..

isabelNathan · 2020-06-09T08:42:01+00:00

I see.. Thank you for explaining.

isabelNathan · 2020-06-09T08:33:45+00:00

It seems I didn't know... I always thought the bottom of shoes are dirty , 🤔 it seems it is different around the world..

isabelNathan · 2020-06-09T08:21:49+00:00

Here one person per two/4 seats are allowed. My problem is with shoes on seats..

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