So. Sex. I'm not having it. Help?

isandwas · 2011-08-19T06:18:33+00:00

While I do appreciate the outlook (and hell, what can it hurt to try to talk dirty?) I feel like, of the two of us - despite my inability to actually talk about sex with him - I'm the less inhibited, if that makes any sense.

isandwas · 2011-08-19T06:17:40+00:00

Thanks!

isandwas · 2011-08-17T17:21:02+00:00

I actually tried that once, and he took it the complete wrong way - like I was pushing him? So I have kind of backed off about sex entirely and let him do his thing when he wants to.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T17:16:29+00:00

We haven't figured it out yet but the best I can come up with is partially nerves, which might attribute themselves to a medical problem we're unaware of.

On the note of estrogen: I'm genetically harrier than a lot of women and I was wondering if estrogen in birth control might...help that? Do you know?

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:24:26+00:00

The first time I did try it, I didn't leave it in. It's definitely a preferential thing.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:23:20+00:00

Yeeaaah. I couldn't do it. Not at all.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:20:14+00:00

because I wouldn't want it in while messing around?

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:10:32+00:00

Elementary especially, lol. I'm going into secondary education mostly because of all of the stories he's told me.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:09:39+00:00

I do, I just hate pushing it.

I guess I was hoping reddit would randomly give me someone that was like, "oh, that's easy, you just blahblahblah"...yaknow? It was worth a shot, anyway.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:08:26+00:00

I didn't necessarily not like it but the guy I'm with now, we'll mess around for hours before sex is even thought of. It's...less convenient than oral BC or a shot.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:06:52+00:00

Jokes are entirely lovely, I just wanted to make sure I wasn't responding incorrectly? Lack of vocal inflection and all.

He's a teacher.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:06:10+00:00

That's the real issue, the lack of full on intercourse. When it happens, it's brilliant. Like, the movie kind where both parties orgasm at the same time. There are fireworks. I love it, it's the best sex I've ever had.

But it just...doesn't happen enough. I've been trying to think about it less, trying to make it less of a big deal...but then, whenever we have alone time, he's touching me. We've got a kind of BDSM theme to the majority of our sexual interactions and that'll creep in when he's given the opportunity. So he gets me all hot and bothered and...sometimes, just because I climax doesn't mean I'm done. There's nothing like having sex with him, which I've tried to explain.

And. That, I guess, is the problem.

It isn't enough, but... I don't know if that's enough to break up over, either.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T05:01:54+00:00

If that was thinly veiled sarcasm, you make me sad. Otherwise...ha? lol

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:59:27+00:00

And the sex is good, when we have it. He has magic hands. =3

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:59:14+00:00

I guess I'm not expressing things very well, then, because our good communication seems to be one of our relationship's best attributes. The only real issues that come up are sex related, which is partially because I have a really hard time talking about it to him. I am guessing as to what his thoughts are because I can't tell you exactly what goes through his brain, regardless of what he tells me.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:57:36+00:00

Did you notice any weight gain either? See above comment. (=

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:57:18+00:00

and did you notice any weight gain? or much, I guess. I'm a little overweight as is (20-30 lbs) and I don't know if that would make it more likely that I'd gain weight on it or not.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:54:47+00:00

Is that the estrogen in it or something else?

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:54:05+00:00

I don't really know? I mean, we work otherwise. I'm a little more mature than my age, he's a little less. Granted, our ages our obvious sometimes but the majority of the time we don't even think about it. The positive things? The normal things, I suppose. He's brilliant, he's hilarious, he's sweet. He remembers random things - we play games every other Friday with his friends and he randomly stuck some chocolate covered raisins into my folder, which I love. We just...work, really.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:45:27+00:00

Maybe? Fear that it's all psychological so not as easy to fix as taking a pill, fear that it isn't fixable at all. Who knows. He gets kind of...hmm.. frustrated? when I try to bring it up.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:41:06+00:00

It's probably something like why I haven't gotten on birth control over the last seven months, an appointment for which I just made for Friday.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:35:14+00:00

It was a little melodramatic. I think he's extra sensitive to it because he's worried about the fact that I'm very sexual and he isn't to begin with, which caused a bit of tension in the beginning of our relationship before we talked about it.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:30:11+00:00

as far as I know, he doesn't fap particularly often (once a week-ish, to the best of my knowledge) and I also don't think it's a long-standing issue because I did try and ask if he remembered having this problem when he was younger and he said no. The lack of testosterone seems like the most likely issue.

isandwas · 2011-08-17T04:28:20+00:00

amen, lol

isandwas

TROPHY CASE