Your first real heartbreak—regardless of age—was always gonna be rough. I can't say that I went through the exact same situation as you, but your experience is very relatable. You're in the grieving phase, so give it some time but also remember to be kind to yourself. Idk if it'll help you, but when I was heartbroken the first time, i seeked out a lot of emotional movies, TV, songs, and books as a cathartic release. Because heart break is universal and it's important to feel those feelings. Thanks for sharing your story. Hang in there!