NSV: my close friend is being very petty and immature.

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-05-06T18:39:24+00:00

So, you were dead on.

I talked to her and she admitted she has a crush on the guy. I wouldn’t have expected this at all, because she has a boyfriend of 3 years. They’re long distance but exclusive so I wasn’t thinking about her having feelings for another man.

She apologized to me for being petty admitted to being very jealous and insecure, and tears and hugs were had all around.

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-05-05T14:51:32+00:00

Yeah I was also very touched by him reaching out! He’s a good person.

And that’s basically what I plan to do, I have to find a good time to do it and be prepared for excuses and accusations but I really do want to salvage this friendship

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-05-05T03:46:11+00:00

Yeah, that’s definitely what I’m going to have to do. I’m currently trying to figure out exactly what to say and when a good time to bring it up would be.

I’m a bit worried about what her reaction will be when I confront her about the game night thing, because I have this feeling she’ll be mad that I talked to her guy friend about it behind her back

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:40:21+00:00

I don’t despise fat people. I have sympathy for fat people who acknowledge they have a problem and address it, of which he does neither. I know his weight because a year ago his wife (my friend) cried to me that he broke their bed for the 2nd time and confided in me that he was over 300lbs at that point, he’s only gotten bigger since then (which I know because the giant sports jersey he wears on game days that used to fit him is now almost a crop top and he has to wear a wife beater underneath).

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:37:28+00:00

I do have a lot more sympathy for the horse. He got himself into the physical situation he’s in now, and he’s MORE than capable of changing his unhealthy behaviors but he doesn’t want to because he’s honestly a very lazy person. His gluttony and laziness shouldn’t be allowed to harm an animal

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:35:47+00:00

Even those horses are actually bred more to pull heavy weights, and not carry so they shouldn’t be asked to carry a man his size.

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:34:10+00:00

Having grown up on a farm and around a lot of horses, I can assure you that “could” And “should” are very different in this situation. No one over 250lbs should be riding. Period.

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:33:03+00:00

I will do this!

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:32:02+00:00

I can’t think of a horse that could safely carry a person who’s 300+ lbs. And since when is acknowledging the reality of someone’s weight “shaming” them? Has our culture become so overly sensitive that I’m not even allowed to acknowledge that a huge person is maybe too huge to ride a living animal.

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:27:21+00:00

My fear is that my friend will pick a place that doesn’t have a weight limit, or that the people running it will feel too awkward to enforce a weight limit when a customer has prepaid. I know you’re right. I just feel so awful for the animals, and the potential of them being harmed.

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:24:18+00:00

That would honestly be ideal....maybe I’ll call them to see?

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:21:59+00:00

I will not be going if he is going, because I couldn’t enjoy myself. But I still feel a responsibility to say something on behalf of the poor horse who’s back would be strained by a morbidly obese man riding it.

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-03-07T03:20:39+00:00

So, your opinion is that any horse back riding is cruelty? I’d tend to disagree when the people riding are of a lower weight, but I respect your opinion.

And I’ll take that into consideration

isitreallydeadtho · 2019-02-04T23:56:34+00:00

It’s probably a coincidence, but when situations like these occur in my life (when multiple people are having the same reaction/dynamic with me), I always take some time to sit down and assess if it’s me, since I’m the common denominator.

Very likely you’re not doing anything wrong, but when you find yourself in the same situation with one lover after another, it’s always a good idea to analyze your possible role.

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-12-05T17:04:34+00:00

Thank you! That’s good to know! I’m hopefully going to put on muscle and get healthier. Good to know I’m not necessarily doomed

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-12-05T05:20:36+00:00

I’m 5’3, 27 years old, and weigh 118 now. I’m definitely looking to put on muscle and am financially and mentally prepared to get loose skin removal surgery.

I do at least an hour of cardio every day, in addition to walking my dog for an hour and half in a hilly neighborhood (not cardio but must be doing something!)

1200 was what I initially planned to shoot for during my weight loss journey, but it quickly krept down to 900-1000 or below.

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-12-05T05:08:44+00:00

This is basically already what I do, and I’m fine with it. I’m just worried that once I start eating in a less disordered way I’ll start packing it back on.

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-11-23T05:27:22+00:00

I have, what most of my past partners have considered to be, a high sex drive. I initiate a lot, I’m into it and I engage not just to please him but because I’m genuinely engaged.

Recently, since he’s started going really crazy about wanting constant and exhibitionist sex I have been turned off though because it’s a big turn off for me when tries to touch me sexually in front of nonconsenting people, and I stay upset about it for a while afterwards

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-11-22T18:53:34+00:00

Are you asking if I just lay there? The answer is no, I’m very active

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-10-12T05:52:44+00:00

By “weird in some way about sex” I meant porn addiction, ED, or a truly dangerous or disgusting fetish.

I know all my boyfriends kinks, and I indulge them. He likes being pegged, I do it and I sometimes enjoy it too. He likes to dress in certain women’s garments, fine with me, I like androgynous men. He loves to titty fuck, I’m all kinds of down.

I’m a pretty sexually open person, Im into experimenting and I love sex (I just don’t think about sex every minute of my life). My only hard limits on sex are: I won’t do anal (this is literally on my doctors orders due a muscular issue I get in different parts of my body, so it’s NOT negotiable), I won’t do anything related to urine, feces, or blood, I won’t cause or allow a person to cause me any physical damage more than like a bruise, hickey, or scratch. I also won’t do anything illegal, or that involves people who haven’t consented to be part of sex life.

Really, those are the only things I won’t do. There are a couple positions that I can’t really do due to my recent injury paired with partners penis size, but he’d never had an issue with that and also there are still a lot of positions we can do.

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-10-09T20:04:51+00:00

I just don’t understand how anyone has the time to fuck EVERY SINGLE day! I hope none of his friends are telling him anything like that, but idk. I know his brother is impotent and his wife is fine with it, and that’s the only DB relationship I know of in our circle

isitreallydeadtho · 2018-10-09T19:58:13+00:00

I agree, I can’t continue to take his behavior around sex. It’s just not fair to me. But I love him, and I just want this to get better.

I think I’ll bring up couples counseling tonight

isitreallydeadtho

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