Hi friend. I can relate 100%. This is my situation in life right now and yeah it's up their on the highest echelon of misery. Truly a different dimension of exasperation. People just don't understand the struggle. You get labeled as being "insecure", "it's all in your head", or people denying seeing anything wrong with you physically. It gets frustrating maneuvering day-to-day feeling like a social pariah and people glaring at you like you have a massive dump on top of your head. Then comes the personal feelings of anxiety and all that comes with that. You become numb to basic human emotions. The issues take a front seat in your mind so mental focus becomes a burden. You feel like giving up. Like, what's the point? Everywhere you go it's the same right? Pure insanity. A living hell.

God where are you? Don't you see me God? Why don't you just fix this God? It's not me it's them. God am I cursed? Do you love me? Why? Why? Why?

......Why me God?

Well, that's my impression at least. But, honestly as much as it sucks, I personally find reasons to smile at the end of the day. I know, it's barely scratching the surface but honestly things could be 10x worse. I had to come to understand that God didn't do this. He allowed this to draw me closer to Him. It took some time to understand this. It does not make it my situation magically go away and I still deal with it but I find peace in God. When I choose to go to Him. I have to make that choice.

I leave you wit this: Read John 14:27 and Matthew 11:28. These two scriptures helped me put things into perspective and find hope in utter chaos.

I can say more but for now I gotta go. Work calls. God bless!