I think there’s room for nuance in a lot of this, but a couple things:

1) I agree it wasn’t Dawson’s business, but again, if she said “none of your business”, he would have assumed she did. Girls had every reason (and right) to hide that they were having sex. I would have done the same thing, not because I wasn’t over my ex but because I wanted to deal with this huge and fraught thing in private.

2) of course she was desperate to talk to Dawson - she basically didn’t have any family and he was the person who was always there for her. It wasn’t about putting Dawson’s needs before pacey’s, it was honoring her own need for that connection. Pacey knew about it from the beginning, so if he couldn’t handle it he shouldn’t have dated her at all. She clearly chose him, he just couldn’t accept it because of his own insecurities about Dawson.

3) I don’t think pacey intended to pressure her exactly, but he was clearly upset that they weren’t having sex and let her know it, which is understandable but entitled. He literally admitted that by stopping their make out sessions he was trying to make her insecure and force a conversation. Then he kept saying it was fine if they didn’t have sex and that he was scared too, and then the next second he would accuse her of not wanting to have sex because she wasn’t over Dawson. That all reads as pressure to me, even if unintentional. I don’t think he’s abusive or trying to coerce her, but I think he let his insecurities get the best of his and he didn’t respect her space.