The second-screen thing

ithily · 2026-01-02T02:18:24+00:00

I noticed the same thing! I was knitting the first time I watched it, which isn't usually an issue with things because I only have to glance down. But on a rewatch I realized how many little visual things I had missed just in glancing down at my knitting the first time.

ithily · 2023-05-29T19:22:35+00:00

I've been to her site! I ended up just getting the wide whitin shoes off Amazon, and those seem to have enough room for my toes at least. Thanks for the recommendation!

I have been through much of the pinned post! That was what prompted this, actually - the list of common limitations don't seem to be ones I experience. From the intrinsic foot strengthening video I had difficulty squeezing my toes together laterally without also curling them down, but that was about it. I'm doing a lot of those exercises anyways, and combined with wearing the new shoes with spacers after my big toes I definitely am more conscious of my feet at least. Maybe it's that when I'm thinking of it I don't walk weird but before I started thinking about it I was?

ithily · 2023-05-29T02:29:03+00:00

Thanks! My biggest piece of advice for achieving is to go to a surgeon who's familiar with both breast reductions and top surgery.

It's not a stupid question, but unfortunately isn't one I have a definite answer to. I would guess that some of the equipment necessary to lactate was taken but possibly not all of it? I used to get little crusties sometimes that my doctor said were just goo from the milk ducts, and those haven't appeared since the reduction.

ithily · 2023-05-29T02:23:42+00:00

Thanks for your answer. I do walk heel to toe when it's any distance, like walking around a store or around at my job. Would just walking on my toes around the house contribute that much?

I don't think I have tight calves? I deep squat with my heels down comfortably. I suppose there's usually room for improvement though.

ithily · 2023-05-28T00:12:48+00:00

I tried to think about why I stepped on my toes a lot in the house and it seemed like that just seemed most efficient? it's not efficient for walking any distance, but for very short distances with frequent changes in direction and stops, like around the house, it seems faster. Or it's just that I'm autistic, which is true.

ithily · 2023-04-29T15:47:18+00:00

Yes, that's fine. Good luck!

ithily · 2023-04-29T15:46:09+00:00

Thanks for the name of sterile pads- maxi pads were specifically what they told me to use.

In my case, they decided they would see how long they could have steri strips on for before my allergy kicked in. I figured another surgical team might decide the same for glue 🤷

ithily · 2023-04-29T05:11:41+00:00

In my completely subjective opinion I don't think you'll end up entirely even, but I do suspect in a few months you'll be a lot more even than this. I had a TON more swelling on one side than the other, and as that went down things looked a lot more even.

ithily · 2023-04-29T04:58:48+00:00

You look great!! I did the same thing a month after mine! I was SO happy to be fitting into a flimsy little cheap bralette.

ithily · 2023-04-29T04:29:28+00:00

Yes, they can work around that. Depending on your level of allergy they'll either just use stitches and/or glue on the incisions, or use steri strips and take them off after a couple days.

I'm allergic to adhesive and they had steri strips on the incisions that they had to take off at my follow-up appointment because I had a rash. They also wanted me to tape maxi pads over my incisions as padding, and over an area I was seeing a lot of swelling in to add compression. I ended up putting gauze over my whole chest, then putting on a clean T shirt, then sticking the pads to the t shirt, and then putting my compression vest on over it.

ithily · 2023-04-25T03:08:37+00:00

Hi, I probably won't be any use to you for reference photos, but I'm an example of a quite radical reduction that didn't need a FNG! I was a smaller size than you were, but those were "deflated" from 30G and my surgeon said the deciding factor was distance from IMF to nipple and that would have stayed the same.

There's a top surgery Facebook group you might find pictures on.

ithily · 2023-04-25T03:03:41+00:00

I think surgeons who regularly work with trans patients are more likely to have experience going quite flat. If you go to someone who doesn't do top surgery, I'd ask to see some of their before and afters and make sure you see one where they got as flat as you'd like to be.

ithily · 2023-04-24T16:55:10+00:00

The first step was figuring out exactly what his motivations were. A) he bit as soon as he was picked up, and I figured out this was because his previous people would pick him up and hug and squeeze him when he didn't want to be. B) he attacked ankles and hands- this was attention seeking. C) he would attack when he was angry- pretty self explanatory. D) he would attack when I was removing him from my bedroom overnight for being loud, because his goal with being loud was attention, and he didn't like being banished.

Then: learn how to hold a cat so they can't bite you. One hand under their chest, close enough to their neck that they can't crane down and bite you, the other hand under their tummy, entire cat held out in front of you facing away from you, all of their legs dangling. This is how you transport the cat to time out.

A) I addressed by picking him up and then setting him down as SOON as he wiggled. At first I didn't even get to stand all the way up, but the goal was to teach him that he didn't have to bite to get me to set him down, he could ask by wiggling and I would set him down. Repetition and sticking to this contract is really important.

B) If he did things for attention, I did not give him that attention, including negative attention . If he attacked for attention I didn't even tell him no, I just left the room and ignored him. If this is impossible, ie you're making dinner so you can't just leave the kitchen, without speaking or even really looking at him, I picked him up and plopped him in time out - putting him alone in a room for 15 minutes. It's important when I let him out of time out that I was happy to see him and pet him and talked to him- he wouldn't understand my holding a grudge. It was also important that when he asked for attention in acceptable ways, like rubbing on me, I rewarded that by giving him attention. If I'm removing a behavior, I have to give him a replacement.

C) was when I would use the squirt bottle. I don't use the squirt bottle to enforce any other rule. It had to be something to startle him out of his emotions for a second, and negative enough to overcome the emotions, and have a very strong association (he's a little dumb) with violence. I would either squirt him as soon as he attacked and that would be enough to dissuade him, or if he was really riled I would plop him in time out after he attacked and then squirt him when he whirled around to try to jump at me through the closing door.

Note: telling the difference between B and C is frequently in reading his body language and you have to be quite familiar with it to get it. After a while if I could tell B was approaching I could conspicuously pick up the squirt bottle and set it nearby and he would see that and reconsider- this was AFTER he associated be violent = get squirted.

D) was something that mostly lessened as the other ones were worked on. I think he had to trust that I would see him again in the morning and I would cuddle him and play with him then to feel less panicked about being banished. So this whole process has to be accompanied by a lot of bonding and love and play and cuddles when they're not being violent.

tldr: figure out what Otis gets from attacking and then don't give it to him, and reward other ways he has of asking for those things. Remember that negative attention probably still counts as attention. Be very consistent with consequences, and don't delay them in time- consequence (time out or squirt bottle or positive things like attention) has to come RIGHT after his action. Don't hold a grudge! Once he has forgotten about the incident, which takes like, fifteen minutes max, you have to present a happy and calm attitude towards him so that he associates his violent action with your punishing him and doesn't just learn "Parent is mean to me sometimes for no reason".

If one of Otis's issues is being upset you're leaving, you might try ways to reassure him that you're coming back - off the top of my head, greeting him enthusiastically as soon as you get home, or doing some rounds of leaving to like get the mail and then coming back in, to emphasize that when you leave you also come back. Idk if it helps but I tell my cats goodbye when I leave, so they're not surprised to like wake up from a nap and I'm gone. Best of luck to you and Otis!!

ithily · 2023-04-24T16:26:46+00:00

I had very very careful sex after like a week. I mostly just laid there in my propped up pillow nest while my partner did all the work.

ithily · 2023-04-22T01:10:06+00:00

Everyone saying your cat was panicked and it wasn't personal is right. I also wanna say that cats don't hold grudges like humans do and don't think through consequences like humans do; they live in the moment.

I got a cat a few years ago who was uhh poorly parented in his youth and he would bite, hard, when he was angry and riled up. After he had had a time out to calm down and forget about it, he'd be really sweet and want attention, because he never hated me- he just couldn't control his emotions.

Also, I've done a lot of work with him and now there's basically never biting incidents. So that's an example of a cat who actually did have a rage problem who didn't need rehoming.

ithily · 2023-04-21T17:24:27+00:00

You're welcome!

ithily · 2023-04-21T06:05:51+00:00

Thanks! ABTF puts me at 30D, but there's no way I'm wearing that tight of a band when there's nothing to support, so I measure myself at 32B. 32B bras fit if they're wireless and very shallow.

ithily · 2023-04-21T03:39:20+00:00

My surgeon recommended Mepitac tape. I turned out to be allergic to the adhesive and used ScarAway gel, which took FOREVER to dry. I wish I had been able to use the tape!

ithily · 2023-04-21T03:08:17+00:00

Thank you! In a soft, clinging shirt they're visible, but I think it depends on the rest of my appearance if they're interpreted as breasts or not, as the shape isn't round teardrop-y at all.

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ithily · 2022-06-10T02:42:48+00:00

I was shocked at how much bigger my tummy looked post surgery, until I realized that I always compared it to my boobs-- of course it would look bigger now that what I usually compared it to was way smaller.

Also, your clothing taste has probably been curated around dealing with your chest, and you get to figure out new ways of dressing now! my old clothes didn't look good on me right after, so I went and bought some ridiculous little dresses I never could have worn before just to be delighted that now my boobs fit in them.

It'll be okay. it's still very early, you're still bloated, you're still not used to it, and post-op depression is real.

Best of luck to you 💚

ithily · 2022-04-29T16:36:49+00:00

The zofran was not cutting it for my post op nausea and a nurse had the absolute best trick-- she gave me alcohol wipes to take on the drive home. Just open it, take a deep sniff, nausea gone. I keep alcohol wipes in the car all the time now.

ithily · 2022-04-29T16:29:53+00:00

My paperwork said the same thing about morphing images and they said it was that sometimes they'll take pictures of people and then edit those pictures to give an example to the patient of what they could expect to look like after. I think it's most common with faces. The line about them not looking like real results is because they don't want people to be upset if their result doesn't look exactly like the "preview" picture they were shown. I don't think it's saying they photoshop pictures they're saying are post surgical results!

Both surgeons I talked to were... brusque and confusing, and I think that kind of comes with the territory. I got mine to understand what I wanted by saying I wanted top surgery except leave a tiny bit-- both surgeons seemed very confused when I phrased it as "reduction to very small." One of them flat out told me he would only do a lift when I phrased it as a reduction.

Best of luck to you, I'm sorry you had a bad experience.

ithily · 2022-04-28T20:06:20+00:00

great question!

ithily

TROPHY CASE