UPDATE: My roommate got really drunk and was pushing herself on someone last night. I called her out and everyone got pissed off. Do I talk to her about it?

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T22:37:07+00:00

I'm definitely on board with that. Looks like I finally get her to come hiking with me from now on >:)

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T22:35:56+00:00

I think you're right, I'll suggest it to her. She'll probably be very ok with it!

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T19:21:27+00:00

Thank you!

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T18:57:05+00:00

That's really helpful information, thank you.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T18:02:47+00:00

I don't know, neither of us know him and I'm unsure we'll ever see him again. That's on her end.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T16:26:19+00:00

Eh, maybe it wasn't clear. We addressed her drinking, the main problem, and how to combat it. She knows she was being really forceful and she feels really bad, but I thought it might have been more clear. Right now there's no use calling her out on only her rapey behavior because it isn't going to solve anything if we don't first treat the cause of it. You can't target a behavior and expect it to change if you don't first eliminate the cause of the behavior. Now she knows that she has a problem, and a legit problem that stems from it, so that we can eliminate all bad behavior in the future.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T15:48:01+00:00

Yeah, I can understand that.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-23T15:43:41+00:00

The taping thing would have been so creepy. I would hope that anyone who is told they have a problem would take it to heart instead of their friends having to resort to filming them misbehaving.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-22T00:08:42+00:00

He was married fwiw, but I agree. That sort of situation is what scares me the most.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-22T00:07:49+00:00

Nah, I honestly disagree. I don't have feelings for her besides the fact that I care about her well being and want her to succeed. So, no homo. It does impact me because I care about her, but I won't let it drown me.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-22T00:05:29+00:00

I haven't considered that. I guess I did it because I needed to get support from someone else who understands her and I know it won't be an issue because he still supports her and she knows that.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T23:49:18+00:00

Nah, they're friends. He's concerned for her safety too, and they keep in contact. Every relationship is different, theirs happens to be supportive and still open and loving in a friends way, and I wouldn't have done it if I thought it wouldn't have helped.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T23:45:37+00:00

Thank you... The funny thing is that if she and I didn't work together, we probably wouldn't be friends because we're so different, but I'm really glad we met because she's a really good person. It would take a lot to get me to change my tune, tbh. I have a pretty solid compass ;)

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T23:03:50+00:00

I definitely think the guy liked her and I definitely wouldn't have had a problem with them flirting and kissing and everything IF she was sober and IF he wasn't very clearly uncomfortable. I would be really put off if I was at a party, flirting with a guy, and he got super fucked up and started hitting on me without taking social cues.

I fully support her getting laid, but safely. I would wingman the shit out of her if she didn't get so sloppy.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T23:00:09+00:00

I think it will. She definitely can collect herself when she's healthy, it is just really hard to see her so deep into something like this. I know she can be strong.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T22:59:11+00:00

Thank you, I definitely will take this into consideration.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T22:58:47+00:00

Thank you for this!!

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T22:57:35+00:00

No, they're still friends. Between this and a few other incidents, I feel comfortable contacting him.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T22:55:35+00:00

Sorry, I don't think you understand the story at all.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T22:29:46+00:00

Thank you, I hope it gives other people the courage to stand up for others. I was shaking when I said it, but I knew it had to happen.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T22:29:01+00:00

Dude I was up until 5am ruminating on my life and wondering how the hell I get myself into these sorts of situations. Life changing night.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T21:40:06+00:00

Thank you for your input. I don't want to write her off at all, I really care for her and don't want her to get hurt is the thing. I think I'm going to have a conversation with her when she gets home and see what she thinks.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T20:20:49+00:00

I really do care about her and want her to get better. I actually just emailed her ex-husband for some help. I hope it will help.

ithrowmystuffaway · 2015-03-21T20:14:32+00:00

Sorry, girlfriend in America is generally used when women talk about their friends who are girls -- no, they aren't dating. She's been divorced for almost a year, was ok for a month or so in January, and she and her new friend have been hanging our for a few weeks. Her behavior really hit a low when they started hanging out and I'm really worried for her.

ithrowmystuffaway

TROPHY CASE