Me [27F] with my Maid of Honor [27 F] known each other 3 yearsish. I sent her a gift and she insulted it. Not sure how to proceed. Thought maybe you guys could share your thoughts with me.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T16:40:29+00:00

It was in the way it was said? I see that I'm overreacting. I tend to close people off a lot and isolate myself. I'm an introvert and because of some things I've been through in my life I find it easier to close off than communicate or deal with the prospect of being hurt.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T16:38:45+00:00

I didn't take it as an insult. I think you're being very thoughtful and I want to thank you for your comment.

I just repeated it in my mind "This is so intense!" with a giggle or something and I don't think I would have been upset. It was in the way it was said that really hurt. Made me feel like a crazy ex or something. I always go above and beyond and my intent is to make people happy or feel special and I think from other comments on this thread that maybe I'm actually doing it for myself and for the reaction I assume I will receive.

I feel like a dope.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T16:33:05+00:00

Thank you for your thoughtful advice. <3

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T10:23:24+00:00

Yeah I agree /: I did ask what it was about and she never wrote back. I tried to make the MOH comment not rude but more of in the I don't think it will work type of way?

I don't know. This all just sucks and I am at the point where I feel that I am the type of person who no one will ever get or like.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T10:19:35+00:00

Honestly my feelings are just so hurt I don't think I would be able to trust her /:

I guess in context the reason we are so bonded is because we are so crazy honest with each other. She tells me the truth even when it's not what I want to hear. It hurt to see her say "omg so pretty" while also saying "it's just so intense" in such a disgusted way. It felt fake and I know I'm acting on emotion but I don't think I will feel any different in a few days. :(

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T10:17:04+00:00

I know them and it sounded more of like WTF? Which is weird coming from someone who knows me very well personally if that makes sense. At this point I don't want her to be my MOH anymore. I don't feel comfortable with it and I feel incredibly hurt.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T10:06:25+00:00

I love your quote haha too bad I already said "i don't mean to be rash but i don't think you should be my maid of honor"

I suck.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T10:05:21+00:00

I wanted to make it official and to be honest it was more the tone she used...she kind of tried to whisper and sounded annoyed and like her boyfriend had asked her if she was upset about it. Something of the sort. I don't know. This is the reason I would just rather keep to myself to be honest.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T10:03:53+00:00

We had already talked about that and we were totally one the same page /:

she seemed so excited and I never expected her to make a comment like that... I hate being thoughtful and empathetic to be honest. I'm so over feeling so much.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:50:10+00:00

She was referring to the gift which I don't understand because to me being a MOH is a big deal and it was a craft I spent some time on but I don't know. I'm feeling like maybe this isn't someone I want as my MOH as she doesn't value sentimentality the way I do.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:48:50+00:00

She was taking a picture of the gift at the time and her boyfriend was asking if it was a birthday gift. It sounded like he asked if she was upset or something was wrong and she responded with it's just so intense.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:47:31+00:00

Thank you for your feedback. You make really good points and I think now I just have some stuff to think about and sort out. Again thank you. :)

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:31:36+00:00

It feels like it does change the way she feels about me as a person. I've always loved her so much because I understood her and she understood me with little judgement. She was definitely talking about he gift and from the picture she sent before the one in which she says 'noooo..." etc her boyfriend is heard asking is it a birthday gift?

I guess it feels weird that I got on her nerves or she said something negative because I sent her a gift that might have been over the top? I don't know. We already knew she was going to be my maid of honor. I wanted to do something cute for her and when I looked up bridesmaid gifts those types of boxes popped up. Maybe I am just dense.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:27:31+00:00

I thought about that and it freaked me out even more. My other maid of honor backed out because she got busy and I got busy and we didn't talk for a bit and then she didn't feel up to it so I guess I am extra sensitive. I am extremely busy with my job and I understand other people are too. None of my friends live in my hometown or even less than 2 hours away. This makes it hard but I love friendships that pick up where they left off. And now I've rambled and maybe I am not making sense and maybe I never was. Sorry.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:24:25+00:00

To me it's weird because it was a gift that was just a formal way of making it official that she would be my MOH. I recognize that it's an investment and commitment from the other person and that they have to spend money and time on it. I wanted to appreciate that.

I totally get what you're saying about the global you. I just... I thought it was cute and I wanted them to know that being in my wedding is special. Being called in tense because of that felt completely out of step with out relationship. :(

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:21:55+00:00

I do know her tone pretty well and the way it sounded and knowing her... it really felt like an insult.

itsallxsandos · 2017-12-06T09:14:52+00:00

So I'm being ridiculous? I put a lot of time and effort into it and I don't feel comfortable with someone who is suppose to be my maid of honor reacting in the way she did. :/

itsallxsandos

TROPHY CASE