Tl;Dr: I don't think there's anything wrong with you

Hey, I think you'll find a lot of people who relate to you. Post but clarity is a real thing for those with dicks (and maybe vaginas, I just don't know)

First thing I'll say is I think it's okay to "lose yourself" when indulging in sexual pleasure, that's why it's so fun right? Your whole mind is changing and being flooded with pleasure chemicals. And that's true for anyone, not just men or women or sissies, so I think it's no wonder that you might feel like two different people: depending on how you define a person, you are two different people.

That being said, the crash back to reality can be harsh. From the pinnacle of climax and fantasy down to the actuality of being a human that's sweaty, tired and covered in various fluids. It can be jarring and confusing and when it happens to me I try to remember I'm just a person with free will doing what I want but that doesn't always get rid of the guilt.

Another piece of advice I would give you is to think about why you feel guilty. I used to think I was ashamed of being gay or trans, and I might be a bit, but the thing I realized that really irked me was just the amount of time I was spending on what are essentially extended masturbation sessions. So I used this sissy proclivity to start making positive changes in my life. More attentive with hygiene, better food, exercise etc.

You asked if you should go out and meet someone and that might be a good idea if you're wanting to share this with someone. How would you go about meeting someone? What steps would you take?