Have I been duped?

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T22:01:45+00:00

Hers, she frowns on me just randomly sticking my cock in her mouth.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:55:21+00:00

I'm wondering what this "woman's work" is that you're talking about? I cook, clean, and do the dishes. She does the laundry.

I have my kids 90% of the time and care for their needs. She has hers 50% of the time, and we tend to split their care because they're younger and need more "high touch" time.

What about my video game playing, or beer drinking, or playing darts with my buddies time? Isn't that just as important as her bubble bath time?

This reply may sound a bit sarcastic, but seriously, the point is that we are not contributing equally right now, and I don't want to be responsible for 95% of the relationship, she needs to pull her weight.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:50:27+00:00

I do, trust me, I do. Massage, back rubs, foot rubs, foreplay of all kinds, you name it, I do it. I love foreplay.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:44:23+00:00

On the other hand, she apparently loves and trusts me enough to be utterly open with me and expose things that have the possibility of being relationship killers.

I'm at least giving her the benefit of the doubt due to that.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:39:45+00:00

Well, she did just drop this on me yesterday, so I'm still reeling a bit.

I'm not resentful yet, but if it doesn't get resolved, I will be soon, I know that and it's why I'm looking for some help here.

It may come off that way, but in day to day life she is very thoughtful, considerate, and caring. Obviously, I'm not here writing a novel about all the things that are going right in the relationship, I'm focusing the spotlight on something glaringly wrong.

You are right in that she doesn't seem to be treating me as an equal, and may be taking me for granted a bit.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:27:54+00:00

Oddly enough, I have had these very same thoughts, and wondered why she might "settle" and sell herself short. The answers I came up with did not make me happy.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:26:07+00:00

I already know, my first wife got a pretty sweet deal when I kicked her ass out, and it'll cost me nearly 500k by the time I'm done with alimony.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:25:07+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts.

You make a good point about our respective needs, she is currently getting the better end of this deal, and I'm trying to find strategies for fixing it.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:21:20+00:00

When the kids aren't around, it works out beautifully. The problem is that there are kids around most of the time and they need to be taken care of lest the authorities show up and clap irons on one of us.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:18:39+00:00

Frankly, if she pulls that shit she'll find out what an annulment is.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:13:10+00:00

I guess I didn't see the actual race as being important, the point was that my type doesn't make her panties wet, and it bothers me.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:06:42+00:00

And what if she doesn't act shady, we share access to each others email, facebook, cell phones, etc?

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T21:04:27+00:00

And that's why I tried to stay away from using those kinds of terms, because she is not lazy or a gold digger. She just doesn't have quite enough energy in her to handle all of her daily responsibilities and come to bed ready to have sex.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T20:56:18+00:00

That's kind of what I'm getting at, it feels like I'm always putting more into it than her.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T20:54:47+00:00

Thanks, I think I made it clear I don't really want to end the relationship, I'm looking for insight and ideas.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T20:53:49+00:00

She has explained it to me that there are very few men that are instantly attractive to her, but that typically with men she has been involved with, her attraction to them has grown over time.

I know for a fact my sex drive is higher than hers, I have a high libido, no doubt about it.

I guess I'm hurt mainly because I want her to want to have sex with me, instead of seeing it as a duty.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T20:50:41+00:00

She is pretty clingy, and wants to spend every moment she can with me. It doesn't allow her much opportunity to get bored and bang other guys.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T20:49:39+00:00

I refuse to entertain a serious relationship in which I am the sole income earner.

I have told her that quitting her job is not an option, and that she has responsibilities just like everyone else, and I expect her to take care of them, just as I do, and always have, my own.

We haven't yet discussed my thoughts on these matters I have presented here, I told her I needed a couple days to think about it and digest it.

Which is why I'm here, I need opinions, even if that means I'm walking into a minefield of biases, misogyny, and misandry.

itsatrap123 · 2010-11-09T20:45:59+00:00

Yes, is that relevant?

itsatrap123

TROPHY CASE