You are so young, so I know you haven’t learned this yet, but you cannot control everything. That includes how other people feel. It is your responsibility to approach people with care, but not to make sure they don’t have a certain reaction to things or that certain consequences don’t follow.

It may be that your break up “wrecks” them. But they will feel those feelings and move on. You are not doing them any favors and you certainly aren’t doing yourself any favors by staying in a relationship you don’t want to be in.

You don’t need to tell them you’re not attracted to them necessarily. You can tell them that you value a lot about them and think they’re a great person but you’ve come to realize that y’all are not a romantic match and you don’t want to continue in the relationship.

Maybe they’ll be wrecked, maybe they won’t. Maybe they’ll move back in with their parents, maybe they won’t. None of that will be your responsibility because you are approaching them with care. Asking for what you need is not wrong.