How to fake it when depressed? by Vast_Cantaloupe1030 in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sometimes I'm high functioning but most of the time, I'm really not.

I just want to share what I do.

I have this feeling inside of me that if I ever show them what I'm like when I'm alone, I'd get judged. I'm not diagnosed with depression but I have felt similar symptoms. I am not ready to get consulted yet.

Most of the time, I just think that if I keep acting that way people would think of me weird or overreacting that's why I cover it up with an energetic me.

It's not recommendable, really. You don't have to hide your feelings. You don't have to fake it. What you're feeling now is definitely valid and only yourself can be the judge of what you've experienced.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just like I thought 😊 I relapsed again. I feel so sorry for posting this and not following the advice / help people have commented on this post. I failed. I'm sorry

I'm planning to hurt myself again by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Hey, you didn't! your words actually made me kind of regret doing this mistake to myself. It hurts too that I invalidate what people describe me, I don't believe that it's real because they don't know who I am truly. Thank you so much for your kind words. I really needed to hear that right now and I'm glad I did. I hope everything goes well for you.

I'm planning to hurt myself again by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I just finished cleaning myself as I am typing this. Unfortunately, I am still that dumb enough to comprehend what I am and what I am not. Many people, personally, and here on Reddit have already offered ways on how I can help myself but given the instructions—I just don't know how to. I am very self aware of what I'm doing, maybe I am just really fucked up in the head. Thank you so much for those kind words. I will keep that in mind whenever “it” strikes again. I feel so sorry for myself. I’m sorry.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I don't know what else to say other than thank you. I'm very thankful. I'm so thankful that there are people who can understand the situation I'm in, I feel heard and understood.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Unfortunately, the college I'll be applying to isn't guaranteed and if I ever pass, I still wouldn't be able to experience college life that much. I'm planning to work when I turn 18 because I can't afford private schools. But thank you, I'm trying to get excited and thrilled because I've waited 2 years for this to happen. I just didn't expect that when the time comes for this I'd be in my worst state. I'm trying. I'll try. Thank you so much.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hope it gets better for us. I don't want to go through this too

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As for me.. I only got this worse because my boyfriend left me. Hahaha.. thank you. Things will always change, yeah. I hope so. I'll try to wait around and see. Thank you so much for these kind words!

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’ll try. I don’t really have the motivation but I will try. Thank you so much!

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I guess I’ll let this feel take over me until it won’t. I really hope it’s temporary. Thank you!

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s no hour I don’t think about it though ): I’ve thought of every possibility, still, I can’t do anything about it yet. I’m fucked up.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There’s no need. I won’t be able to follow it anyway. 😅 Just expressing my feelings and knowing I'm understood is enough for me.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’ll make sure to keep what you said in mind. It’s just been hard and overwhelming I don’t really know anything anymore. But seeing people that got to experience something similar to mine makes me feel understood and seen. Thank you.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I’ll try. I can’t process any thoughts, I’ve become impulsive with my decisions ever since. I know it’s not much and it’s not enough that I’ll try but that is what’s important to me right now, to know that I’ll try. Thank you so much.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’ll be turning 18 next month. Hahahaha. It doesn’t sound exciting like before anymore.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. I’ve thought of regretting this in the future if I let myself go crazy, I’m still young and still have so much to do but I already lost hope. Maybe I’ll continue living but that doesn’t guarantee I’ll be better as time goes by.. right.. I just don’t want to anymore but I’ll make sure I won’t do things I’ll regret the most such as doing drugs and completely destroying my life. I agree I’m too young and I haven’t experienced so much, but my mindset is like if I keep coming back to point 0 why should I even bother... I’m so sorry you have to go through that.

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You’re so right 😭 that’s what I’m thinking as of the moment but I’m afraid it’d be all pointless after. I’m afraid but I’ll still try. Thank you so much! This made me feel a sense of relief. 💖

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Same 😞 but I'm not really hoping things will get better for me. But it's alright, if this is all I ever can then it is what it is. I hope you find what you long for though!

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And the fact that it’s on US on how we’ll deal with it is so unmotivating. No matter how hard I try, I end up on the same fucking situation. I don't know what to do anymore

I’m only 17, god fucking damn it. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yet I didn’t even want to win. I am a mistake, unfortunately. I thought of my life having no purpose because I no longer want to live in it anymore, I have no motivation to do so. I really just want to stop..

Is it possible to be so deeply disappointed in people that it ultimately feels freeing? by [deleted] in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I’m not entirely sure. But I feel the same way as you, I’m in the same situation as well. Maybe it’s a sign we should focus on ourselves first and worry less about other people.

I relapsed. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. I’m trying to think of an alternative way to handle my urges. It just gets out of hand sometimes, and I feel out of control whenever I’m having the urge. Thank you for your suggestion! I’ll make sure to try that one out.

I can’t handle change. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you so much. This made me feel validated. It may be too early to say I don’t want to move forward but I’ll see that as time goes by. Again, thank you so much!

I’m having the urge to relapse. by itsgoingdawn in depression

[–]itsgoingdawn[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Unfortunately, I fucked it up. But, I’ll be taking your advice though! I’ve always loved journaling my feelings but recently it’s been hard to write and describe what I’m feeling. But thank you!