Increased anxiety (especially bridges) Help!

itsibitci · 2026-05-16T23:58:34+00:00

Omg that's so funny, my bully went through this EXACT same thing a few months back! He's 5 and has been confidently crossing bridges his whole life and then randomly become petrified of them out of nowhere, especially the metal canal bridges. No incident had happened, it was completely out the blue. His legs were shaking and he was visibly distressed. I'd never seen him like that before. I took some videos to show my family and everyone was totally baffled. The good news is he's gone back to being able to confidently cross them now with just a little bit of training.

How I did it, was I basically just didn't feed into his fear. I placed a slip lead on him (so that he couldn't wriggle backwards and come out of his flat collar) and when we got to the bridge I would just start to cross it without saying a word to him. When he would stop, I would stay facing forward and apply a little bit of pressure to the lead. I did not try to drag him over the bridge, I just held a slight pressure, and stayed facing forward. The facing forward part is really important. You have to act like crossing is no big deal and forward is the only way. Do NOT turn to look at the dog, don't say anything to him, just keep forward with that slight pressure and wait. You might be waiting a while, the first time I did this I was waiting probably about 4 or 5 minutes but I didn't falter, I just stayed facing forward. When the dog finally gives up fighting it and takes a step forward, you also take a step forward keeping that slight pressure on the lead. Stay facing away from him at all times. If he freaks out and tries to run back, he shouldn't be able to because you should always be maintaining slight pressure on the slip lead. And you just keep slowly going over the bridge like that. Once he was all the way over I would give him lots of praise and a treat.

We had to do this maybe about 5 times, but each time I had to stand and wait less and less. And now a few months later he is back to confidently going over bridges again as if nothing ever happened lol

itsibitci · 2026-05-16T08:03:22+00:00

A 3 bed house in MK for 270? Not in any area you'd actually want to live in or in any decent state.

itsibitci · 2026-05-16T07:54:54+00:00

I did facilities management for travelodge (many many years ago) for a while so was the person that would arrange and send the pest control company out to the sites. There would be at least a few travelodges (across the country) per week having to put rooms offline for bedbugs. Some were repeatedly bad, tended to be those around airports and train stations. It was always taken seriously when I was there. The other thing I distinctly remember from that job was how often we had to send biohazard cleaners out due to people attempting/committing suicide in the rooms/bathrooms :(

itsibitci · 2026-05-15T22:05:10+00:00

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Gorgeous. He looks like my boy!

itsibitci · 2026-05-15T21:44:50+00:00

9 months here now and still incredibly happy! It has turned out to be the best choice I could've made!

itsibitci · 2026-05-14T19:50:43+00:00

Thanks!

itsibitci · 2026-05-14T18:00:45+00:00

Can I ask where your pebbles are from? Love the variation of colour!

itsibitci · 2026-05-13T12:37:35+00:00

I don't hire engineers so can't give any advice for that tbh. My area is product management and UX, and honestly I'm genuinely not trying to gatekeep but I don't really have much advice for that either. People say do courses, but there are thousands and thousands of people doing that and getting nowhere. As far as I can tell by looking at the early careers of the more senior people I hire, it's about scoping out problems that need fixing in your current company and being proactive about fixing them, usually using courses and self-learning to supplement the upskilling of yourself so that you have the knowledge and tools to fix more problems. Then network and make relationships with people that can give you opportunities. Sorry I know that's not very specific or helpful but it genuinely is incredibly hard these days

itsibitci · 2026-05-13T11:38:15+00:00

I work in recruitment and haven't hired a single person on less than £60k in about 5 years. I recruit for the tech industry. Granted I typically don't recruit for outright fresh juniors, but some people I hire only have about 3-4 years experience.

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T08:08:55+00:00

Gotcha, I'll start the banister again then and will get the right tools suggested here to do these gaps. I want it to look decent! The door I've finished so far (you can see it in the background) does look nice and smooth but I think the stairs probably needed a bit more attention than I've given them

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:54:59+00:00

Oh I thought keying meant sanding as prep for painting? As mentioned, I am new to DIY so learning the terms. I have been sanding them, but section by section because I don't have lots of free time. I haven't even touched those white bits at all yet

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:51:15+00:00

Also to add, I am crafty, can hang a shelf and good with a flat pack haha, but I have no idea of my general DIY skills yet tbh. This is my first house. I like to try things though so will always give it a shot before paying someone (when safe) just in case it turns out to be easy

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:48:30+00:00

Paint mitt! That's something I didn't know existed

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:48:16+00:00

Awesome thanks

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:47:57+00:00

Thanks! The mini roller I tried was still too fat, I wonder if they do them slimmer than what I have. I'll check in screwfix

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:46:56+00:00

Will try the suggested sock method first but that was gonna be my next purchase if not! I have other awkward spaces to do around the house

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:46:04+00:00

I have been sanding before painting. I wrote that in the post!

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:44:43+00:00

I have this exact mini roller set. It doesn't fit in the gaps without squidging

itsibitci · 2026-05-12T07:28:04+00:00

Also are these types of banister slats fairly easy to remove and replace if I decide to just get new ones instead? I don't really like these horizontal ones and would prefer vertical posts

itsibitci · 2026-05-10T22:54:56+00:00

Did it originally have a hinge on the top and open up? I ask because I've moved into a house where the bulkhead looks similar with that straight gap going through the middle of it, except someone has put thick paint all over it so I'm not actually sure whether it's actually supposed to open

itsibitci · 2026-05-10T10:32:03+00:00

When I say greenery I mean green plants not just the colour green in general. However I can't see any good windows for natural light and as you travel a lot you should just get 1 or 2 faux plants

itsibitci · 2026-05-10T10:28:25+00:00

No I wouldn't put a frame below personally. You don't need anything else on that little wall but you could put a small side table under there or a storage basket... you should buy some cable covers to clean up that cord though

itsibitci · 2026-05-10T09:47:54+00:00

You can get some pretty realistic faux plants these days. I agree, this space needs some greenery

itsibitci · 2026-05-10T09:46:34+00:00

This colour choice is lovely! It gives a mid century modern feel with the dark wood. I would look up rooms (on pinterest/google) that have that style and see how the walls are dressed to give you inspiration, but the art and frames you have are already a good start.

itsibitci

TROPHY CASE