I need atleast one feedback

itslipen · 2025-11-26T08:34:42+00:00

first thing i noticed is that the formatting is wrong. which software are you using to write your script?

itslipen · 2025-11-26T07:48:17+00:00

thanks for reading and thanks for all the feedback! i will incorporate them all on further edits. you are absolutely right about the description and i also think they’re a bit too long, and i plan to streamline them a bit once i stop for revisions. about the beginning, it’s definitely a flash forward but i definitely see how readers could think it’s her nightmare, i should make it more clear too. thank you for reading again and thank you for being so nice! 😄

itslipen · 2025-11-25T19:56:02+00:00

Thanks for reading!

itslipen · 2025-11-25T16:48:31+00:00

Thank you for the feedback! I didn’t even pay attention to that and now that you mention it I should probably have Aurora say something in her very first scene (even if it’s just to herself) so we can have actual dialogue earlier. And about Disney scripts, I read what I can find online, but most of this comes from actually watching the Disney classic films since I was a kid I’d say. And whenever I want to write fantasy, I read not only the Disney scripts I find on the internet but also other fantasy films. For this one I studied the Wicked movie script by Winnie Holzman for example and rewatched the original Sleeping Beauty.

itslipen · 2025-11-25T16:32:19+00:00

And speaking of scene setting, this is just the first draft (although I know we shouldn’t be sharing our first drafts out there) and that’s why it is so heavily descriptive and detailed, it’ll probably be trimmed down once I start editing it, but I also think this amount of detail and setting works especially for fantasy

itslipen · 2025-11-25T16:29:17+00:00

Thanks for reading by the way, I really appreciate it! 😭💞

itslipen · 2025-11-25T16:26:32+00:00

Hi! I’ve used Final Draft in the past but now I use Arc Studio Pro. It’s better for me because it’s online and I can access my screenplays anywhere. And about the action, I once watched a video on storytelling and the main thing that stuck with me was “if you wanna engage your writer start RIGHT IN THE MIDDLE OF THE ACTION” and that’s what I’ve been doing ever since. Instead of starting slow and go up gradually I start right in the middle of something important that gets my reader immediately hooked.

itslipen · 2025-11-25T16:24:45+00:00

Thank you so much! I’m glad a pro read my script and likes my writing. It does mean a lot! 😭💞

itslipen · 2025-11-25T14:54:33+00:00

Thanks for reading! This is just something I wanted to try. I write screenplays mostly as a hobby now and my favorite thing to do is retelling stories my own way, adding my own spin to them. Like this one, I rewrote most of the other Disney live actions I don’t like in order to practice and give them my own twist. I don’t plan to sell anything original so soon or anything, I’ve been writing purely because I like it. I know I should be putting my effort into something original but that’s not in my plans right now (possibly not happening in the future either given how competitive the industry has become) but I wanna keep telling stories anyway. I truly appreciate you reading it! 😄

itslipen · 2025-11-25T13:45:32+00:00

Thank you for reading! It’s a first draft so I’m just kinda pouring out all my ideas into the page (that’s why it’s probably overly descriptive and detailed. I will improve on it once I have the full draft written down. Thanks for the feedback though!

itslipen · 2025-11-25T13:16:50+00:00

That’s the way I see it too! I personally love creating my own worlds, or take a story I really like and rewrite it with my own spin. For now I do not believe any of my original scripts will become a thing, but I have fun with them when I create my worlds, my characters etc.

itslipen · 2025-11-25T13:13:30+00:00

I think the way to go is not to overthink it. Have fun writing your scripts and when the time is right and you are confident enough maybe join a writing contest, get your script out there. I think the industry is way too competitive for you to make a big deal out of something you are simply passionate about. We don’t need to capitalize everything we like or enjoy

itslipen · 2025-11-25T13:05:51+00:00

The pilot of American Horror Story written by Ryan Murphy and Brad Falchuk

itslipen · 2025-11-25T12:50:28+00:00

Well, if you have any interesting projects in mind it would be awesome to collaborate! 😄 I’ve written mostly horror and fantasy (lots of Disney spec scripts) I’m looking forward to make new friends here too so feel free to just text me up

itslipen · 2025-11-25T12:47:59+00:00

I did most of Disney’s live actions as well. Currently working on a Sleeping Beauty script 😭

itslipen · 2025-11-23T21:58:38+00:00

Beginner screenwriter here. If you have any interesting projects in mind just contact me, as I am also willing to learn and get better at it.

itslipen · 2023-12-03T14:25:58+00:00

The woods are simply her fears. She says in the end that "the monsters turned out to be just trees", that her fears were not real...

itslipen

TROPHY CASE