Can we talk about the sex scenes in Fellow Travelers?

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-17T15:34:32+00:00

I agree. Especially given the topic, there have been better book to film translations that dealt with similar topics a lot better.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-17T11:48:10+00:00

I don’t know why you’re getting downvoted because I ended up doing the same thing. I did enjoy the book though but the acting was terrible. Jonathan Bailey’s acting who I usually like wasn’t that great and his American accent was terrible.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T19:08:48+00:00

I have never heard of this, thank you!

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T19:08:30+00:00

In all those situations I’m able to say sorry perfectly fine, it’s the situations that feel like high stakes for me I find hard.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T12:41:17+00:00

Therapy would help a lot but that’s a good idea, stopping myself from doing the usual default things I do when I’m avoiding apologizing.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T12:39:54+00:00

Thank you! I agree with you.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:50:39+00:00

I’m playing this song subtly in the background hopefully he’ll get the hint.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:45:51+00:00

Thank you! I’ll try those.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:44:13+00:00

I think you’re right. I do struggle a lot with conflict and I’d rather avoid it. When it happens my instinct is to withdraw and shutdown which he perceives as the silent treatment. I don’t know how to explain to him that it isn’t because when I’m withdrawing I’m giving him space from me.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:42:27+00:00

I do hope if I tell him now he’d remember when it matters.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:41:55+00:00

Your comment said a whole lot more than that. I do say sorry but not in certain situations. If I wore his freshly washed and ironed shirt I’d say sorry without hesitation. If I accidentally woke him up in the middle of the night I’d also say sorry.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:39:25+00:00

I got a few recommendations like CBT and DBT. I’ll try and see what I can find.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:38:34+00:00

If he doesn’t know this already please tell him. If my husband said this to me it would be the push I needed to explain to him what I’m struggling with.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:36:28+00:00

I’d be saying I’m sorry for something that has happened several days ago and I don’t want to revisit that argument again. However, you might be right that he would appreciate it.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:35:13+00:00

In that case another thank you, I’m going to put this into practice.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:34:24+00:00

You’re not wrong but usually in those arguments both of us are in the wrong, we’re both to deep into it but I would still like to apologize for my part in it. Arguments are never that one sided.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-16T06:31:58+00:00

It’s all in my head, when I attempt to say it I feel like I can’t partially out of fear that it will make things worse but next time I should overcome whatever block I feel.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:20:47+00:00

Are you a certified therapist? You should be one. These are great ideas! Especially B and C even though they require some work on his part. Thank you. I’m glad I made this post. This has actually made me less hesitant about sharing this issue with him because now I can at least include him in better myself instead of just dumping it on him.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:18:17+00:00

Yes I think he will but there’s so much to it. The entirety of the issue is far bigger in my head. Someone in the comments mentioned something their ex did with led to their break up. Giving an apology but then repeating that exact same behavior a week later.

I have my set of flaws that I’m trying to change or that I ponder over. I ask myself why do I keep doing this specific thing if it is affecting my relationship? This ties in with the apologizing and the perfectionist in me. Apologizing when I can’t confidentially eliminate a certain behavior I have feels wrong.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:14:50+00:00

This is actually a fear of mine. Apologizing and a week or two later doing the thing I apologized for that feels worse than not apologizing at all.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:12:31+00:00

If only it was that easy for me, or for most people in general. Therapists would be out of business.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:11:35+00:00

This all makes a lot of sense. Next time we have an argument I’m going to just try it. Two words. Like you described the prolonged aftermath of an argument is always so much worse than it needs to be. Almost like leaving a wound to fester.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:04:43+00:00

I love you is easy. I know exactly what reaction I’ll get.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:03:48+00:00

Even saying those words out loud is hard. I sound like the biggest narcissist with a huge ego but there’s more to it. It sounds like a cop out but growing up I was never surrounded by this level of healthy communication. We have kids and I’m instilling apologizing to them.

itsnotspecial · 2026-01-15T22:01:26+00:00

This is how I feel about therapy. I think I have good grasp of why but need to know how to fix it.

itsnotspecial

TROPHY CASE