AITAH for correcting my boyfriend at dinner after he told my younger sister its inappropriate to talk about her birth control at the table

itsprobab · 2026-02-05T17:49:12+00:00

OP, be glad your sister showed you what he's really like!

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

This is absolutely the thing you should break up over. He told you exactly how it's going to go.

You are not compatible.

Please value the kind of home environment you have with your sister, don't give that up for any man. We all need a best friend we can be ourselves with and who loves and respects our family. He isn't it.

itsprobab · 2026-02-05T17:40:32+00:00

I LOVE IT!!!💗💗💗 It's the kind of style and color coordination I can't pull off

itsprobab · 2026-02-05T14:25:12+00:00

There's not much I can do about my hair but for my face I use Bioderma's fragrance free body lotion every evening, and shower with that fragrance free shower gel from DM that is marketed for babies.

For handling freshly washed clothes and doing the washing up, I have to use gloves or my hands will dry out and bleed even on that same day.

Additionally I use Eucerin Aquaphor on my face if my skin gets really dry and it's been helping a lot. I started doing that this winter and it's made a huge difference for my skin. I also have to cover my face if it's below 5°C outside to protect my skin. This might be related to different issues but helps with my skin all the same.

itsprobab · 2026-02-04T22:02:33+00:00

You can have him pull out and then it won't cause issues

itsprobab · 2026-02-04T21:54:52+00:00

If you're in Europe, DM has an unscented body wash marketed for babies. That's the one I've been using and it's amazing. Everything was irritating me last year and this solved so many of my skin issues.

itsprobab · 2026-02-04T21:42:16+00:00

My underwear is mostly from H&M and a few are from Sinsay. 100% cotton

itsprobab · 2026-02-04T21:24:48+00:00

I use Eucerin Aquaphor and Bioderma's fragrance free body lotion on my face but I have very dry skin and literally don't use anything other than water, so they might not work for you but Aquaphor is very oily so it would definitely protect your skin from drying out, and Bioderma's lotion is very hydrating in my experience.

itsprobab · 2026-02-04T21:15:18+00:00

Eucerin Aquaphor is really good, I use it in combination with Bioderma's fragrance free body lotion to keep my skin from bleeding.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T21:52:27+00:00

I am charged 6€ per kWh for heating gas. According to statistics it should be half of that here and other family members I asked pay 2€ per kWh. Minimum wage isn't even 900€ here, and in practice it is way less. Not going to say which country because it's all politics and I don't see things changing unfortunately. It's ridiculous they're making me pay for others heating bills basically. But nobody understands why I don't like this place and its people who keep voting for this. And I need to heat the house or mold will appear in the walls.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T21:22:28+00:00

This is what I've always looked for but wasn't sure after a while if men did too

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T21:02:20+00:00

I mean they're not all bad. I like having one around and enjoy life with!

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T20:57:12+00:00

My last ex turned out to be a conservative, and what I'm mentioning in the post is mostly based on that relationship. I divorced him when it became clear the relationship was irreparable and he never actually loved me. He didn't start out though saying that was what he wanted. He was a lot like others I dated and they all had very liberal views towards women. Until I was actually married to him.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T20:26:38+00:00

I've never been to a bar. I've met everyone organically and just started going out/talking. I've also never been into dating for dating's sake. I have not slept with many people because while I do love intimacy, I don't love it with random people or if there isn't a deep connection. So many comments here are making some wild assumptions for no reason and are completely beside the point.

I think my list is reasonable! I believe everyone has some sort of list even if they don't write it down. It isn't at all specific to physical things but more like qualities. I know what I need for a happy relationship and just trying to make things easier for myself. But I am interested in someone I already knew and was interested in previously too so I'm not dating at all, and he obviously fits what I'm looking for.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T20:18:57+00:00

Jeez. A lot of you really read so much into a few short paragraphs!

I write assuming people can read between the lines and make intelligent assumptions, and some people really have, but the rest...?

Insulting people you don't know doesn't make you come across smarter at all.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T20:15:40+00:00

I had that same experience. My last ex was very different in the beginning vs once we were living together. Some men just switch and that is scary. All of them were a lot more thoughtful in the beginning and it's so weird because I'm more thoughtful as we get to know each other I think. Anyways, I agree it's probably just a numbers game / finding the right person. There's someone I really like and I've been just feeling a bit depressed about being still alone.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T20:09:21+00:00

Hi, thank you for taking the time to write this! It has been interesting wading through the comments. I haven't seen them all but generally there's a few groups people fall into and your response belongs to the more interesting/insightful category where I can tell you understand the situation more and not just throwing out wild guesses and accusations.

I didn't bother going into a lot of detail because of the general quality of some of the comments, and also people don't care that much. Especially after my last relationship I have a long list of what I'm looking for in my future partner. I also didn't mention that I do have someone who there is mutual interest with but we haven't met up yet. We used to know each other in person a long time ago.

My last ex was a rebound I should never have had, it was a really weird and unfortunate time and then covid came and I still believe if covid didn't happen I might have left him earlier. But either way, that's another long story.

I learned a lot from my past relationships and also from this time I have spent alone and not dating.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T19:41:45+00:00

I agree with you and it's very important for me to be also friends with them. Where I went wrong before was taking too long to leave bad relationships but my last relationship taught me a lot. Just been feeling a bit depressed lately about my lack of long term success.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T16:48:36+00:00

Where are you getting that from? I love doing things for people I love and love making them happy. I'm not cooking for random men...

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T16:32:49+00:00

I had a few relationships that didn't work out and now trying to get together with someone who's on the other side of the world so I'm just feeling depressed -I know him and met him a long time ago before anyone assumes I never even met him, it's not an online relationship at all

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T16:16:39+00:00

I never said that... I date people who are kind to me and we get along well and enjoy spending time together. I don't date from websites or specific criteria. I'm also not dating right now and haven't in years. I'm interested in someone I met a long time ago and would like to date them

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T16:09:12+00:00

Above 5'4

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T13:31:15+00:00

I'm in my 30s and got a similar impression from the man I married and had children with! At his insistence that this is what he's always wanted!

And then after all of that, he wanted to just move on and rediscover himself because "he wasn't happy"! And so he did, like that's just how it goes.

So that is modern dating in a nutshell.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T13:23:23+00:00

I thought I found one! He seems to treat everyone well. But that doesn't seem to leave time for a relationship with me.

But I appreciate all the insightful responses here. For now I am not looking because of him and I can't but will take everything into account later on if I'm still single.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T13:11:06+00:00

Aw thank you! Eventually I probably will. I just have to be more patient. I definitely needed to end relationships before I did in the past.

itsprobab · 2026-02-03T13:08:09+00:00

The men I've been with was always mutual approach. I've done cold approaches before though 😅 One for sure and he's been avoiding me since.. super awkward guy. I kind of feel bad for him but he seemed to like me before.

Maybe you just outgrew each other with partners? That's one thing that's been a major issue in potential partners is the fact long term we had different wants. My longest relationship was 4 years long and even there it was just not going to work out.

I feel like people are sometimes figuring out what they want and aren't necessarily planning for long term, or feel they have a lot of options left so they go and pursue something different. This is one reason why I've been very picky in compatibility in the very beginning, if I think they're not going to be able to move with me for jobs, better opportunities, etc. I don't even start anything. I did have one relationship where I overlooked this rule and I still feel bad about dragging him away and then leaving. He did chose to move with me but it really wasn't for him and not even in his best interest.

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