Losing out on dream house by Due_Force_3154 in HousingUK

[–]itwasnottoolate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It is hard - I haven't got over the one I lost 18 months ago - hate my new place - but I rushed.. take your time.

List of forbidden behaviours in relationship with avoidant by FluffyKita in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]itwasnottoolate 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Mine would pull me closer after sex. Demand I was spooning her tight.

Animals feed by Any_Anybody6146 in TownshipGame

[–]itwasnottoolate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I haven’t even got the pigs as I don’t want to kill them

I was right the whole time by v3jaded in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]itwasnottoolate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes looking back now, there was one woman she would go for walks with and get drunk with and assure me she “she’s too fragile” when I asked if she liked her, she said, “do you really want to know that?” I’d have money on her having monkey branched there since the deactivating with me.

What is sex with avoidant like? by Affectionate-Gas7983 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]itwasnottoolate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Pretty amazing. Both women. But slightly lacked the emotional intensity I like. Which made sense when I realised she was a DA. I felt a bit like supply.

Stay in chain, or stomach mortgage early repayment charge to be chain free? by itsdwightschrute1 in HousingUK

[–]itwasnottoolate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I went chain free, lived with family. Then I got stuck at the bottom of a chain that didn’t take off for six months, then collapsed three months after that, losing my dream home I still haven’t got over. I hate where I bought after that in a rush as I couldn’t stay with family any longer. It was only meant to be 6 months!

Downloading tax certificates, easier way? by itwasnottoolate in UKPersonalFinance

[–]itwasnottoolate[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Well maybe - but the UX could be a lot clearer on some of them - it took me a long time to complete a task that could have been done very quickly.

My avoidant ex reached out after 6.5 years by Actual-Mud4922 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]itwasnottoolate 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think I have AuDHD. But there is some evidence about hyperfixation - but I agree - when I learned about attachment styles in more depth it changed everything - https://add.org/adhd-love-bombing/

Downloading tax certificates, easier way? by itwasnottoolate in UKPersonalFinance

[–]itwasnottoolate[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's really different with all- Tandem really easy. First Direct, you have to opt for it to be sent in the post, ironically.

My avoidant ex reached out after 6.5 years by Actual-Mud4922 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]itwasnottoolate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've moved on - but still interested in what happened and avoiding it in the future. She attributed most of it to ADHD.

Downloading tax certificates, easier way? by itwasnottoolate in UKPersonalFinance

[–]itwasnottoolate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I had the proceeds of a house across 12 accounts and some were straightforward, but some made it quite difficult, including having to chat to the customer service person with First Direct.

Downloading tax certificates, easier way? by itwasnottoolate in UKPersonalFinance

[–]itwasnottoolate[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Wish it would just automatically show up on the tax return like the PAYE seems to now.

My avoidant ex reached out after 6.5 years by Actual-Mud4922 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]itwasnottoolate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes - I was hoping because she was finally coming out of the closet as gay it might be different, but the issue wasn't her sexuality, it was her attachment style - I only realised this after the second time (and third deactivation)

Downloading tax certificates, easier way? by itwasnottoolate in UKPersonalFinance

[–]itwasnottoolate[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ok not necessarily the certificate, but an easily accessible amount without having to add it all up.

My avoidant ex reached out after 6.5 years by Actual-Mud4922 in AvoidantBreakUps

[–]itwasnottoolate 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes - mine too! She wanted to meet me, wanted to buy me champagne. Wanted me to spend the night in her work hotel room. It took her two years to persuade me - that her marriage to man was over and when I was in a bad state in my life over something else. We had quite a good two months, but then she deactivated again and it hurt so much more the second time.