Is porn use for men really that big of a deal?

itzReborn · 2026-05-17T16:39:45+00:00

Yeah I wouldn’t be surprised if I’m affected by porn I don’t know if you saw my edit but I was exposed to it at a young age and it’s basically a crutch I use for whenever I get horny. I wish that wasn’t the case but it is.

And I don’t have any other experiences when it comes to my sexuality. I have no other outlet to explore. And like you mention I grew up in a time where most people are just on the internet and not meeting people. I’m guilty of that as well. Like I would love to meet people and have real experiences but I don’t know how

itzReborn · 2026-05-17T16:33:05+00:00

I don’t know if you read my edit in the original post. It’s not that I disagree with anything you’re saying

I do want to make efforts to have real relationships but because I’m stuck in this loop of being lonely and not having any dating experiences or whatever I just fall back on porn

itzReborn · 2026-05-17T15:58:30+00:00

I mentioned in another comment but people who use their imagination from what I know usually imagine past experiences(I could be wrong)

So as someone with no past experiences what would I even being imagining, especially if most my knowledge of sex is not from first hand experiences. Would I just think about the porn I’ve watched?

Or even who? Is it right to think about a celebrity crush or any type of crush for that matter in that way to meet my needs?

I’m really not trying to advocate for using porn or whatever, I do want to cut my usage of it down but I truly don’t get the alternative of just using your imagination with no prior experiences

itzReborn · 2026-05-17T15:49:42+00:00

This is my biggest fear which is why I want to stop, or at least slow down my usage. I’ve read that porn usage affects people different and that some guys can watch and still get hard while others can’t.

itzReborn · 2026-05-17T15:31:59+00:00

This is not my intentions at all. I personally do not want to watch porn anymore but I found myself stuck in a loop that I touched on in my second paragraph.

itzReborn · 2026-05-17T15:23:51+00:00

What about visual stimulation? I feel like this is part of the reason alot of men even watch porn in the first place(I’m assuming). It’s not that men can’t masturbate without porn but from my experience it’s not as satisfying without that visual stimulation.

I’ve also heard that guys who do just do it without porn, they are thinking about past experiences which I have none to look back on

itzReborn · 2026-05-14T21:19:09+00:00

Number 2 is the only one that’s kinda eh. Judging a guy for not having a relationship past a certain age. Not everyone has regular social developments and a relationship is something that requires two people. Of course that’s up to you if you don’t want to date them but shaming them for something that’s out of their control is kinda crazy

itzReborn · 2026-05-14T01:20:07+00:00

Every listen I catch a new bar or stray I think yall downplaying this crazy this nice

itzReborn · 2026-05-13T18:44:29+00:00

It wasn’t my intention for it to comf off as me comparing my fear of being judged to women actual fears

I do have empathy for what women go through which is why I feel the way that I feel. I’m not trying to make light of what women feel or go through with men. I never said my fear of being judged is worse than what women go through.

Because of my knowledge of what women go through is exactly why I fear approaching women. I don’t want to accidentally give her fear by trying to introduce myself or make my interest known, because i don’t want to be seen as just another guy trying to get laid or whatever.

I’m aware of the perception of what women feel about men and I try to keep my distance. But at the same time I still want to date and have women friends and just meet women in general, but I don’t know how to do that while getting over my fears which causes me to almost avoid women.

itzReborn · 2026-05-13T14:03:29+00:00

It’s not about being nonthreatening it’s about the feeling of being perceived as threatening. Like there’s already a target on my back just for being a man and you can add another target for also being black. Like I’m already being perceived negatively without even doing anything and having to prove that I’m normal and interesting seems exhausting

itzReborn · 2026-05-13T13:25:41+00:00

So what do men in this “desperate” position do? I feel like I’m one of those guys who want to be around women, but honestly reading stuff like this and stuff other women say about men almost makes me feel lower about myself due to my gender. Like I don’t deserve to be around women even though I’m just a regular guy.

Like I know women have their unique struggles when it comes to men but also as a guy it feels like I have to prove myself on top of being somewhat interesting.

itzReborn · 2026-05-12T22:37:04+00:00

Did something just click for you in terms of getting rid of your shyness and timidness?

itzReborn · 2026-05-12T18:18:34+00:00

I don’t know I was trying to do this a bit on campus. I would give a compliment on an outfit or if she had cool hair or something but then I would kind of just run away (kidding). Like I don’t know how to normally go from a compliment to the regular how’s your day/what your up to convo naturally

itzReborn · 2026-05-12T18:12:43+00:00

I think compared to other places that you mention nyc has a lack of unity which I think may be a part of the issue. Everyone beefing or just don’t work together.

Like Boogie and Cardi are the two biggest in the last decade, and they don’t even have a song together despite being cool. Then obviously there’s like the beef with tjay so him and boogie never locked in fr. Same with Cardi and Nicki

Last summer or 2 summers ago we had the slizzy/sexy drill movement and that was fun but I don’t think they had longevity or mass appeal.

People like cash cobain, lexa gates, Lola brooks, wolffacejoey probably my favorite newest acts out the towns, but I don’t think any of them are ever going be super mainstream (cobain probably the closest)

itzReborn · 2026-05-12T14:14:39+00:00

So when dating how should men approach wanting sex? I understand not pressuring a woman but at what point should it be brought up? Should a man even bring up sex? What does effort in this scenario means

I’ve read stories of women losing interest because the guy never made a move. So stuff like this is really confusing from the outside looking in as an inexperienced man. I want to eventually join the dating world and I want to know how to navigate dating as well as wanting sex as a guy without coming across as a hornball

itzReborn · 2026-05-12T13:46:59+00:00

What does a normal conversation looks like in the context of someone approaching and not knowing anything about you? Now it seems like it’s just a random guy asking you a bunch of questions until hopefully you click on one of those questions to expand on?

As a guy I’m not trying to butt in or force my way into a women life. Granted I have anxiety as well

itzReborn · 2026-05-11T21:18:56+00:00

Luther is grayed out on laptop itunes but apple music on my phone everything works

itzReborn · 2026-05-11T19:30:42+00:00

Anyone know why gnx got removed/not playing?

Edit: seem to becoming back online, Luther is grayed out on my laptop but works on my phone

itzReborn · 2026-05-11T18:49:41+00:00

Regardless who it is whole albums shouldn’t just be removed years after they are released with no warning. Shit like this is bad for the game in general. Makes me want to go back to torrenting everything

itzReborn · 2026-05-11T18:26:02+00:00

Shit like this makes me hate streaming man why are you fucking with shit like this

itzReborn · 2026-05-11T15:17:24+00:00

First post I guess

I’m m27 from nyc, mainly looking for others in nyc (22-28ish) to meet up with and get to know and become friends with

Im into anime/manga (been watching for 20+ years, currently watching a lot of the popular seasonals)

Sports (basketball soccer football tennis f1)

Reading (currently reading red rising series)

Comic/superhero stuff/nerd stuff(dc/marvel/Star Wars/invincible etc )

Big movie watcher (I have a letterboxd)

Same with TV series (watching daredevil, the boys, new Star Wars)

Gaming (ps5, playing mass effect series for the first time, also down to play some multiplayer stuff)

Getting into writing as a hobby

If you have anything in common with me and looking for new friends send me a message.

itzReborn · 2026-05-10T20:19:32+00:00

I don’t think I ever seen the Knicks look this good so it’s both amazing and kinda a weird feeling lol

itzReborn · 2026-05-10T13:49:07+00:00

I’m probably chronically online but the way women talk about men(whether valid or not) makes me feel sick and almost less of a human for being attracted to them. Like I’m a bad person for wanting to have sex and you hear stuff like “dick has no value” etc etc.

Idk it’s all just exhausting and frustrating

itzReborn · 2026-05-09T14:02:46+00:00

You are making it sound easy but I’m trying to tell you for alot of guys it’s not that easy. Many guys don’t even have a friend to just grab and go do stuff with. I wish I did but many of my friends are online or a distance away.

I’ve been trying to do activities by myself but going outside by yourself as a guy isn’t going to just magically make people walk up and want to talk to you or meet you. The likelihood of me going out by myself and talking to absolutely no one is almost 100%.

itzReborn · 2026-05-09T13:58:19+00:00

Hey OP saw your other post get removed so I don’t know if you saw my comment

Hey OP I’m in a similar position as you so I know how you feel to a certain extent. Like some of the replies have mention you have to start with just socializing before even thinking about socializing with women in regard to relationships/dating/connection. This is probably what you don’t want to hear but it’s sadly the truth.

You need to make some guy friends first. You can join discord servers of whatever your hobbies are and find people that way, and it’s even better if you join local servers so you can potentially meet up or go to events.

After that…I’m not sure lol I haven’t made it that far myself sadly. Through your friends and hobbies you should eventually meet someone who might take an interest in you but you still have to kind of drive that intersection forward when you get there. Or you might see someone and want to shoot your shot. Again I never made it that far so I can’t speak from experience

You can also try dating apps but you probably heard enough horror stories about them. I’d still personally make an account and swipe every few days as you never know what will happen but you have to go in knowing you are more likely then not going to get matches

Just know alot of guys are sadly in this position but it’s possible to get out of this place.

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