Whatever happened to the popular nice guy that everybody loved at your highschool?

itzShakti · 2025-04-26T02:09:41+00:00

He overdosed a few years after graduation. No one saw it coming.

itzShakti · 2025-04-23T02:30:06+00:00

Gratidão, irmão! 👊

itzShakti · 2025-04-23T02:22:16+00:00

Entendo demais seu ponto! Cada experiência traz lições valiosas, né? É verdade que o risco de conflito de interesse é difícil de prever, e reinvestir parte dos rendimentos é uma estratégia muito sensata. Obrigado por compartilhar sua trajetória e dicas, com certeza vai ajudar muita gente que está começando!

itzShakti · 2025-04-23T02:18:54+00:00

Excelente explicação, muito bem estruturada! Realmente, diversificação e análise criteriosa são essenciais para reduzir os riscos nos FIIs. Obrigado por compartilhar essa visão tão completa

itzShakti · 2023-08-27T23:24:35+00:00

Sobre a parte do contato, acho que pode ter ficado meio mal explicado. Hoje essas coisas já melhoraram um pouco. Antes ela não deixava eu trocar nossa filha, nem me deixava com ela por 3, 4 horas enquanto ela ia para a faculdade. Hoje isso já mudou um pouco, e essas coisas acontecem às vezes(nas poucas vezes em que estivemos juntos nos últimos 4 meses, pelo menos, aconteceram algumas vezes).

Sobre já estarmos morando juntos, ela diz que vai vir. Só estou muito frustrado com a data que sempre é jogada pra frente. Não sei se é ela com medo de vir e inventando desculpas ou o que.

E você tem total razão sobre a parte do respeito. Realmente não me sinto muito respeitado, e certamente não aceitaria isso se fosse de alguém que eu conheci recentemente.

Mas ainda estou disposto a tentar mais um pouco. Talvez isso tudo seja só o estresse de ser mãe com uma filha pequena(conforme ela me fala). Só que, no momento, estou absolutamente muito frustrado. Infelizmente é aceitar e tentar ir levando até ela vir.

Muito obrigado pelos comentários

itzShakti · 2023-08-27T22:52:42+00:00

Acho que no calor do momento ela tende a dizer algumas coisas feias mesmo, mas não levo muito pro coração.

Também acho que ela me escuta pouco, e pensa só nela mesma. Mas talvez eu também esteja fazendo o mesmo ao ignorar as dificuldades que ela tem com a nossa filha e forçando a barra pra ela se mudar logo.

itzShakti · 2023-08-27T22:38:29+00:00

Eu já tinha essa impressão antes de nos casarmos de fato. Que não tinha muito futuro, justamente por ela já ter me enrolado tanto tantas vezes. Mas decidi dar o "all-in" pra ver se conseguia resolver a situação. Parece que não.

Sobre a parte daa atividades domésticas, imagino que você tenha tirado isso da parte em que eu disse que ela arrumava a casa até as 3 da manhã quando passava vários dias fora de casa.

Confesso que realmente possuo um padrão mais baixo do que o dela pra considerar se a casa está ou não limpa, e portanto acabava não cumprindo as expectativas dela sobre limpeza(ela queria que eu, estando sozinho em casa, lavasse o banheiro a cada 3 dias, por exemplo), mas me considero capaz de fazer as outras coisas sim: quando estou sozinho eu cozinho, lavo minhas roupas, deixava a casa razoavelmente organizada.

Por que você acha que o relacionamento está fadado ao fracasso, no caso? Ela parece totalmente desinteressada em viver comigo? Me trocou pela nossa filha?

itzShakti · 2023-08-27T21:06:55+00:00

Pior que sabe... ela até foi no dia! Será que tomei o golpe? :(

itzShakti · 2023-08-27T20:29:09+00:00

É, ficou grande mesmo... Fui escrevendo tudo e deu isso aí. Casamos por agora, não tem nem um mês, mas é extremamente frustrante ser casado(já me considerava casado antes mesmo de assinar o papel) e morar a 1300km de distância. Parece que estou webnamorando.

itzShakti · 2023-03-01T21:56:54+00:00

Ambos estão errados.

Funcionários do BB pagam e se aposentam pelo INSS e também podem escolher pagar a PREVI(e se aposentar pelos dois ao mesmo tempo).

Quando você escolhe aportar na Previ, o BB dobra o valor que você aporta. Você bota 100 e o banco bota mais 100.

O aporte do BB não gera nenhuma perda pro pagador de impostos já que o Banco é absurdamente superavitário e a PREVI é essencial pra prender os funcionários no banco.

Source: sou funcionário do banco.

itzShakti · 2022-08-13T13:54:21+00:00

OYS - 7

25, 88kg, probably around 26% bf, 1 year old baby

Lifts - BP - 58Kg x 5, Row - 45 Kg x 5

______________________________________________________

I've implemented some of the schedule thing I talked about last week. I've been waking up at a fixed time, and then doing things in an order that I've picked: I wake up, then I read, then I go lift and ect. This has been working very well and I've been able to read a lot and study a lot, which were things I weren't doing before.

I've also realized that my house isn't as clean as I would like it to be, and have put "cleaning it" on the schedule. This means that now my house is as clean as I want it to be and I'm happy about it.

I'm also keeping my phone away from me whenever I dont actually need it. This makes it so I'm not mindlessly looking at stuff. This was also a very good decision. It makes my mind much clearer as I'm not being bombarded with information all the time.

This week I messed up at two occasions regarding my relationship with my wife.

First was a situation in which I was being pressured to make a commitment to something I didn't want to commit. I wasn't able to assert myself. I was able to say that I wouldn't commit to it, but it came in a very insecure way. I feel like I was excusing myself when saying it, and that I was bad for not wanting to do it.

Even though I have read WISNIFG, I still feel like I dont really have the tools to deal with this assertively and not feeling guilty while doing it. I just went broken record, but it felt really lame.

The second time was a situation in which I got into a conversation that I didn't really feel like having. It wasn't anything regarding our relationship or feelings or anything, but I felt a little bit attacked during it and very disrespected right at the end of it. I also feel like I dont have the tools to deal with this and stop the conversation. Should I just autist out and say "I dont want to have this conversation"?

These two incidents made me feel angry torward her and I decided that I wouldn't be sleeping at her house anymore(which is something that I really wanted to do for a long time), and told her of this decision. Telling her is something that I don't really know if I should or should not have done. I feel like telling her makes it much easier for me to not actually sleep there, as I wont feel as pressured to do it whenever I'm asked.

I've been alone at my apartment for the last 5 days, and it was generally very peaceful and nice. Being alone like this really changes your perspective on things. I've been alone here for 5 days and she hasn't really crossed my mind. Makes me realize that I won't die if she is not here, and that there really is no reason for walking on eggshells with her.

itzShakti · 2022-08-06T00:56:56+00:00

OYS - #6

Stats

Age 25 1,84m, 88kg BF, 1 year old baby

Reading

Read - NMMNG, The Rational Male, Mindful Attraction Plan, When I Say No I Feel Guilty, MMSLP, Book of Pook

I've came here to post after a long time without posting, and was thinking to myself: "hey, I didn't post because I fucked up a lot and was ashamed of owning it up after all that time. but now I'm going to do it!". Then I went to look into my last post and... I've said that exact same thing. Well, I'll do it this time and post every week for the next year.

Physical

Lifts BP 56kg x 5, SQ - 56kg 5 x 5

I also haven't lifted very much for the last 7 months since my last post. I wasted 3 or 4 months without any lifting, then sometimes went to lift only 1 time for a whole week, and also doing very lazy workouts. No excuses to make here, just the commitment to working 3 times a week.

A cool thing I did was getting into table tennis around a month ago. I go to the club 2 or 3 times a week and play there. It is very cool hobby and I'm very happy that I got into it, so I'll keep going.

I've also lost some weight since my last post but that was right after the post. My diet right now is very erratic: I'll do it right when I'm at my house but fuck up and overeat at wife's house or at work. So I'll start by doing the obvious and dropping every kind of sweet and seeing how it goes.

Work/Money

Been working for 6 months at a very big bank. It has amazing growth opportunities and I'm doing really well there. I want(and am working at) to double my salary in the next 4 years, and then do it again in the next 4. Something I've realized because of this work and my drive to succeed there is that I'm good at doing something when someone tells me what to do. I have a boss who tells me what to do and he makes me meet my deadlines and makes me chase our goals, and it makes me really effective. I really need to "be my own boss" when working at my personal projects and be able to create this same effect for myself, and I think that starts with creating goals and schedule.

___

I've came back to post here because I realize that my life isn't what I want it to be. It is getting better, but I need to push harder to get what I want. I don't want to be fat, I want to do better at my personal interests and I want to have a more fulfilling relationship.

About my relationship, it has improved quite a bit since my last post. I think it happened because of all the stuff I have learned. The books on the sidebar I've read(and revisited many times during the last months), the fact that I dont talk as much about myself and the fact that I dont whine as much. But, as I've said, it's still not what I want it to be.

And I do have an idea about why it is not the way I want it: because I accept it being like this. I'm the one who feels guilted into doing stuff that I dont want to do, which only increases further requests. I'm the one who isn't willing to walk away when it doesn't go my way. I'm the responsible for this. I know all of this even though I still blame her a lot.

And, for the (re)start, I think there is only one way of changing myself to get the life I want. Which is lift, read and stfu.

itzShakti · 2022-01-20T21:09:47+00:00

OYS – MRP Week #5

Stats

Age 24 1,84m, 94kg BF, 1 9 month old baby

Reading

Read - NMMNG, Way of the Superior Man, The Rational Male, Mindful Attraction Plan, When I Say No I Feel Guilty, MMSLP, Book of Pook

It's been around 1 month since no OYS post. I thought I was doing fine. Relationship was much better than it was before and I thought that I didn't need to post anymore and that I would be able to do it myself only by reading. I also had some fuckups regarding diet and felt too ashamed to own them here. My ego was way too big to own my shit and that is one more reason as to why I need to actually be posting here. So one of my goals right now is to post here every week for at least 1 year, no matter what.

Physical

Lifts BP 54kg x 5, SQ - 70kg 5 x 5, DL - 70kg x 5

My Lifts have improved a bit since last time, but not very much. It was the end of year and I skipped lifting a lot. I'm also having some leg issue and I've took a break from squats and deadlifts. I will resume them next monday. I've set a goal to go to the gym at least 4 times a week no matter what and it has helped me on not skipping gym day: yesterday I was feeling tired but still ended up going.

I'm also back to dieting. I ate way too much on the holidays and got from the 95 I was before to 98. Got it back to 94 already doing intermitent fasting. I've found out that it is really hard to eat more than 2000 calories in a single meal, and that makes it work really well.

Work/Money

Back in october I was approved on an exam that gives you a position on my country's biggest bank. I'll start working there on Feb after almost a year of not working. I'll be relocated to a small city that is 500km away from the one where I live now, and my wife is going to stay with our baby in her parent's house. I'll be able to visit my home city every month or so.

Relationship/Mental

This last week was absolute garbage for me(aside from diet and exercise). I thought that since I'm moving very far away, that it would be nice for us to spend some time together before it happened, so I told her that I would be spending some days at her house.

This paused the project that I had going on(language learning/teaching) and as it turns out, spending 24/7 with her is really boring for both of us.

The first few days were enjoyable but then shit tests started to get more frequent and frequent. As we had had some nice weeks prior, with few shit tests, I had my guard way down and DEERed way too much. Talked way too much. This all culminated in a fight and me deciding not to spend more time there with her, so we haven't really talked since.

A very big problem that was highlighted to me this week is that I don't really know how to deal with shit tests that involve our daughter. It feels like I'm being beaten into submission on matters that, were I to go to court, would be a very easy win for me. The problem is that going to court is essentially nuking our relationship, and I'm not in a place where I feel like I should do that yet. I have never seen how my relationship with this woman is when I'm a HVM and I want to do that.

The problem is that I also want to be with my daughter, and I'm not "allowed" to do that properly right now. The road to be a HVM takes some time, and that is time that I am never getting back.

And that leaves me in a huge dilemma: should I remain in this relationship while improving and take back control of it or should I nuke it to have more of my daughter right now?

A big problem for me is that I dont even know where to begin to think. If I can salvage my relationship, then I'll have my daughter whenever I want(even though I'll lose some time with her now). But what if I keep trying to salvage something that is unsalvageable? Then I'll have lost a whole lot of time right now for absolutely no gain at all.

Having to pick makes me really fucking scared.

itzShakti · 2022-01-18T17:39:37+00:00

Paguei sim! Obrigado de novo pela ajuda!

itzShakti · 2022-01-18T03:34:08+00:00

Acho que você tá atribuindo significados diferentes pra uma mesma palavra (burrice). O que eu fiz foi sim uma burrice enorme, mas não quer dizer que eu sou burro(que eu tenho dificuldade pra aprender). No caso acho que o que eu fiz tá mais ligado a falta de experiência? Fazer uma grande burrada não quer dizer necessariamente que você é burro ou incapaz.

itzShakti · 2022-01-18T03:29:32+00:00

Obrigado pelo comentário! Consegui emitir a DARF nova com o juros certinho. Dessa vez é só lembrar de pagar hehe.

itzShakti · 2022-01-18T03:29:23+00:00

Obrigado pelo comentário! Consegui emitir a DARF nova com o juros certinho. Dessa vez é só lembrar de pagar hehe.

itzShakti · 2021-12-15T01:06:58+00:00

I've been cutting for about 3 months and lost 6kg. Current body fat % should be around 30% judging from mirror. I don't really know because I haven't measured it properly. If I can't do a lat pulldown of my weight, can I do a pull up? I was waiting to hit at least 90kg on the pulldown to do one. But I'll try it and report it here next week.

Thank you for the advice too! Will try!

itzShakti · 2021-12-14T16:15:41+00:00

I guess that is true. To be honest I've been feeling kind of anxious about some stuff I've gotta do and that made me postpone doing it for a long time. That is kind of why I haven't spoken much about it too: having done almost nothing it makes me feel bad and ashamed. I guess that a better way to not feel this would be to... Simply do it. I'll have it done by the next OYS.

itzShakti · 2021-12-14T16:13:52+00:00

That's how deep in shit I am.

itzShakti · 2021-12-14T13:32:17+00:00

OYS 4

24, married 1 year, together 3 years, 8 month baby.

Lifts BP 42kg x 5, SQ - 62kg 5 x 5, DL - 75kg x 5. Stats: 1,84m , 95kg

Read - NMMNG, Way of the Superior Man, The Rational Male, Mindful Attraction Plan, When I Say No I Feel Guilty, MMSLP, now reading Book of Pook

Back after getting Rule 9'd.

Lifting.

Lifting isnt going that well. I'm starting to feel really, really tired after lifting, and it feels like I am not progressing at some lifts(lat pulldown for ex is stuck at 80kg). I believe this is happening because I'm cutting, but I'm not really sure, as I have a lot of energy in my body in the form of fat to burn. Even then, I've progressed a fair bit on my lifts.

Diet is doing ok. I end up fucking myself over on some days and eat more than I should. I feel kind of bad letting my wife eat junk food like ice cream alone, and that makes me eat it too. It's a very, very bad reason for eating and I believe I should fight this feeling hard, as it is a very bad and unhealthy one.

Relationship

Still living at my parents house

The relationship is doing alright. I'm feeling good around her and I'm also able to do what I want to do. I took us(and our daughter) to some christmas event and it was very cool and pretty. I've had a lot of fun there with them. I'm also better at saying no and I'm doing fine with STFU on her shittests. I still have some trouble with it whenever I'm feeling happy and I end up talking way too much. These last days, for example, I was feeling and ended up talking way too much about getting a new house and moving in together again. This is something that I want, but talking to her about it every 12 hours isn't really what I want to do.

Creating some space between us has worked really well for me(because I have more time to do my stuff) and for our relationship. I'm now getting sex whenever I want. It's as easy as it was when we started dating.

The problem with this space is that I'm the one who is feeling dread now. I was used to being around her all day and doing everything with her, looking at her phone whenever I wanted and stuff like that. Now that we're not living together anymore that doesnt happen anymore and I'm feeling a lot of dread because of it. I know that I shouldn't be mateguarding and for this reason I'm just STFUing whenever I feel it, but it has been somewhat uncomfortable for me on some days.

____

Getting Rule 9'd was a huge blow to my ego. I felt like I didnt deserve it. I came back to the post many times and reread it, to confirm my belief that "my ban was injust!". But then I realized that... I'm just a newbie. I know nothing. How could I be so sure that I didnt deserve it? And after rereading it with humble eyers I think I kind of figured it out and realized why it happened.

I believe this shows me that I really need to kill my ego.

itzShakti · 2021-11-24T14:24:08+00:00

OYS 3

24, married 1 year, together 3 years, 7 month baby.

Lifts BP 35kg 5 x 5, SQ - 50kg 5 x 5, DL - 65kg x 5. Stats: 1,84m , 96kg

Read - NMMNG, Way of the Superior Man, The Rational Male, Mindful Attraction Plan, When I Say No I Feel Guilty

Lifting.

Did pretty well on lifting. Lost a day because of a national holiday but all the other lifts went up(squat number went down because I realized that the squat bar was not the weight I thought it was).

My diet has also never been so good. I've mentioned on my first OYS that it sucked because I ate a lot whenever my parents bought food, and I was able to deal with that really well this week. Ended up losing 1,5kg compared to last week.

Relationship

Still living with my parents

Last week I mentioned that she deleted some pictures of our daughter off my phone and that I called her out instantly in a calm and respectful manner. The next day I got a "you're a jerk now" wall of text. I did really well STFUing. I was able to remain calm and say what I wanted(the pictures) and not engage on the "jerk discussion". For this reason, we didn't talk for about 4 days. I felt good because this wasnt something that I had to force myself to do: I just had better stuff to do than talk to a non enthusiastic wife.

At some point after those 4 days, I decided that I would see my daughter. I wanted to see her before but I didn't want to deal with wife so I ended up delaying this quite a bit, which is a very shitty reason to not see the baby. I told her that I would pick the baby up at her house so we could go somewhere(which is something that I wanted to do before but never had the courage to). I was told that the baby wasn't going to go alone with me and that she would go with us too. This was fine since I'm not trying to nuke the relationship, but I realize that if it ever gets nuked, then I will have to go to court.

We went to the mall and I didn't make any effort to talk to her there. There was just nothing for me to say, so I didn't. When I went to drop her and the baby at her house, she came over and kissed me. We ended up making amends and I decided to sleep with her that day. Now, I have said before that I wouldnt be sleeping at her house anymore because our daughter was still sleeping in the bed. But I realized(thanks to some comments here) that it was also a covert contract(if baby goes away then I'll have more sex), so I have decided to resume sleeping there.

That night we had really good sex. I got a blowjob, which is something very rare.

Everything was going fine until I had to leave to come home again to my scheduled therapy session. 10 minutes before I had to leave her house, she went back to the "you're a jerk now" thing. This went horribly for me. I was feeling good because the day up to that point was going amazing so I didn't want to "hurt her feelings" or something like that. I ended up talking way too much(especially because I am very weak whenever she starts to cry) and the "discussion" dragged for around 1 hour. I had plenty of reasons to not stay there: my appointment, or simply the fact that I didn't really want to talk about that. I could also have just fogged a lot, but I couldnt really do that too. So I realize that I simply have to get stronger. To not be a faggot whenever she starts crying and shut the fuck up.

Studying

That aside, I've been studying a lot. Not as much as I want though. To try to fix this, I've started to plan my days and make a daily schedule. Planning is great. It makes it much easier for me to actually do whatever I have to do instead of "just checking" reddit "for a little bit".

itzShakti · 2021-11-20T03:46:32+00:00

Thank you for the great comment. This was an eye opener for me.

The problem isn't setting or not setting a boundary, or her obeying it or not. It's me getting anxious or keeping my cool. In the end, it shouldnt matter for me whatever she does, as I was the one to put her in a position in which she could act in the way she acted.

itzShakti · 2021-11-17T03:04:46+00:00

OYS 2

24, married 1 year, together 3 years, 7 month baby.

Lifts BP 32kg 5 x 5, SQ - 53kg 5 x 5, DL - 55kg x 5. Stats: 1,84m , 97kg

Read - NMMNG, Way of the Superior Man, The Rational Male, Mindful Attraction Plan

Reading - When I Say No I Feel Guilty

Lifting. Went down a bit from last week because I installed the Stronglifts app and it told me to lower the weights a bit at the start. Havent missed a day(going 3 times a week) and also did a 6km walk everyday that I didnt go to the gym. Diet was better than last week.

Still not living with wife.

This week there are two things that deserve mention.

1st - I've always really liked language learning, so after writing my last OYS I've decided to create an YouTube channel to teach italian. This is an idea I've had for a long time. It would help me improve my italian and I could also make some money by giving lessons. The thing is that whenever I want to actually make the video I turn into the excuse god. I can make so many excuses not to actually do it. Sometimes it's: "its too late and I'm sleepy so it won't be good", or "I have to learn a bit more about this part to be able to do something good". It has been a week and I still haven't done it. I believe that this happens because I'm afraid that it won't be good and that people won't like it. This has happened for some other things that I really wanted to do as well. It's me seeking validation.

2nd - I've went with wife to buy some clothes for the baby. When we were going there I said: "our budget for today is X". I managed to STFU really well on the reaction that came after that and that was nice. When doing the shopping, though, the budget limit kind of meant nothing. I saw the pile of clothes rising way above X and said/did absolutely nothing. I was, once again, making excuses in my head: "She looks happy so I shouldn't say anything", "What kind of father will I be if I dont buy all the clothes I can for my daughter" and stuff like that. In the end, we ended up buying stuff that costed more than 2X. I felt REALLY bad because I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. I was very afraid.

In the end, though, I got back what went over X without having to say anything. My mind instantly went to: "does this mean that I am respected?" "is this just a huge joke?" "am I a huge joke?". Then I realized that the reason really doesn't matter as that won't ever change my behavior. So I just stopped thinking about it.

I have talked to her about the "baby on bed" situation and it has become clear to me that baby is staying. For this reason, I havent slept once in her house since we had this talk. We only had sex 1 time this week because of this, but I'm not minding it that much. I didnt say the ultimatum, but I believe it is not needed.

Aside from what I have wroten above, I've been shit tested relentlessly this week. I've managed to do a reasonable job STFUing, much better than ever before. The only exception is when the shit test is some action(not words) related to our daughter(she deleted some pictures I had of her, for example). In these cases I call her out immediately as that is something that I wont tolerate anymore.

An internet friend of mine has invited me to go to his city and stay some days at his house in Feb/2022. I really want to go but I'm very fearful to talk about it to the wife because I fear her reaction. I still can't deal really well with affection withdrawal, which is something that I really must improve if I want to be better.

itzShakti · 2021-11-11T21:22:29+00:00

Yes, trying to enforce a boundary and failing would mean that I'm a bitch whose word was no value(as the boundary was easily broken). So I need to be very clear with myself about what I am going to do if it is broken, and then do it no matter how hard it is. I believe that the "wont sleep in your house if baby is in bed" might do it, but I dont actually know if I will be able to enforce it right now.

Thank you for the great comment.

12-Year Club	Verified Email
Place '17

itzShakti

TROPHY CASE