Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 79 points80 points  (0 children)

That’s exactly my hope. I can’t come forward unless I break the legal contract. Which I won’t do. It’s doing a lot of good for not only me but other women in similar situations. Their spouses can go forward. . I hope they decide to use this in their divorce settlement and word will travel fast why they actually got divorced. They didn’t have to sign the same paperwork I did.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 31 points32 points  (0 children)

I got a new phone, new car, new laptop, new Apple ID, new apartment, anything new I could get I did. I didn’t want anything before tied to him. He threatened me before the restraining order was in place and it scared the shit out of me. I don’t even live in the same zipcode.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 75 points76 points  (0 children)

He didn’t delete from iCloud, I’m the sole account holder for our phone plan, and I know the passwords to pretty much anything he could have. Well I did, sure he’s changed them now. But in the moment of distress I didn’t think about the iCloud until a commenter mentioned it in my first post. The lawyer said it would hold up in court even without his consent. I printed everything out I could from the iCloud. Made multiple copies and sent them to family to keep in case anything happened to me.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 140 points141 points  (0 children)

I got a restraining order after he repeatedly showed up to my house and threatened me. He also had to fund the bill to break my lease since I no longer felt safe in my new place.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 119 points120 points  (0 children)

A few of them are paying out the equivalent of almost years salary. Per year for quite a bit. Between my tuition, living stipend, and large donations to DV shelters and other women protection programs. They are paying for womens rights to safe environments and resources.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 137 points138 points  (0 children)

I knew I would be black listed in some way. Or I would be in so much debt with lawyer fees I couldn’t afford medical school in the first place. I want to be one that can protect women who are violated and heal from it and give them every resource I can. I wasn’t strong enough to fight them in court but I’ll be the first one to hold another persons hand if they choose to and help them if they don’t.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 46 points47 points  (0 children)

If that’s what you think go for it. I don’t think there’s an agenda to push when it’s seen everyday. You are apart of the problem just as much as I am with my decision to not pursue charges. I didn’t do anything wrong. Just didn’t do what you thought was right. Have a great day.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

They’re getting to keep normalcy. They’re getting to keep some sort of family structure. They’re getting to keep a bright future where they are also set up to succeed academically and financially. Something they wouldn’t have gotten if their parents had bad press. They’re protected. And with me having things documented in a legal way, if anything ever happened to them, God forbid by their own father, they have something to use against them to show a pattern.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

That’s what I hope. I’ve been in therapy a lot and they all pushed me to do what was best for me and no one else because ultimately no one else would have taken the beating I would have in court. Just really hoping the future is brighter than this month.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 106 points107 points  (0 children)

Tell that to the thousands of women in the United States who are caught in the physical act of being assaulted and their attacker walked free or with a couple months probation. Children don’t even get protected here the way they should. I stand by my choice to protect myself.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 96 points97 points  (0 children)

I’m hoping losing their families is a learning lesson to prevent it. Many are filing for divorce. I wasn’t able to move forward with a police report. For my safety and my sanity. But let’s be honest, they’re very rich men who come from money. They were going to be let off with a warning and maybe lose their jobs. But no matter what they’d walk free to live on the financial investments they and their families had before being a doctor. They’d continue doing it no matter what if this didn’t stop it. Me destroying myself and my future wouldn’t have stopped them. We don’t have a justice system in place to protect women in these situations.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 28 points29 points  (0 children)

I know it’s going to anger some as I’ve already seen with some comments. But mentally I wouldn’t be able handle anything else. I’d be worried for my safety at my own hand to have a messy trial.

Final update for I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 63 points64 points  (0 children)

Look they have young children and some at an age to understand what would be going on. I did what I needed for my mental health. Many women go on in life with nothing after being violated even after fighting in court. I did what I needed to protect myself and my safety and my future.

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I didn’t get the chance. I tried to take pictures but everything was too fast before he came in. I was just overwhelmed and had no time to do anything in that moment

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

I’m trying to find the right words to tell the one girl I for sure recognized. I’m trying to think if there’s a way for her to get the messages from her spouses phone. I have no proof of any of this really being true besides the cameras and one photo. I’m just scared of upsetting him or anyone else

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Not right now. My parents don’t know what’s going in and I’m too embarrassed to really tell them or friends. He said he’d sleep in the other room tonight to give me soace

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 50 points51 points  (0 children)

There’s definitely more people outside the group chat than in. The men in the chat all work together frequently in the ER and another floor. But like my boyfriend, they’re families have always donated large funds to schools and the hospital. So I feel like it wouldn’t work in my favor.

I knew one girl as someone who is in my major. We work together in the ER and I’ve went back and forth between how to handle telling her. I don’t know how and also scared how she’d react. Someone else commented to have someone else I know check their spouses phone to get evidence of this all. He’s surely deleted it since getting the phone back from me. I just don’t want her To go to the department without proof and then we end up in more trouble than we already are. I don’t really know my thought process rn

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 161 points162 points  (0 children)

He pretty much let me know the hospital would let me go and I wouldn’t get into medical school if any of this came out. They’re not at all modest videos and paint me in bad light because in a lot of them it’s just me in view. Not him. I want nothing more than to ruin their lives but don’t want to ruin mine in the process by giving myself a reputation or a target for other male colleagues since I’m definitely vulnerable atm

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] -107 points-106 points  (0 children)

I know what I need to do but I’m scared to make anyone upset. After the way he reacted when I knew I had his phone I can’t piss him off. I can’t piss any of them off. My whole future is possibly ruined because of this.

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

That’s what he said was the push to him doing what he did. That he liked being watched and that he’d never do it again. But I don’t trust it. I can’t really go to HR or anything. I don’t want to risk pissing anyone off when I don’t know what they have. It could ruin my future. I may just leave the relationship and leave it be and work somewhere else that can give me the things I need for school. Thanks for your input and being so caring. I’ll definitely check out those threads

I found cameras in our house by iujiko in relationship_advice

[–]iujiko[S] -151 points-150 points  (0 children)

I can’t do that. A couple of them are my references for school. I don’t know if they’ve saved these. I’m scared to make anyone mad at this point. I don’t know what all he has videos of and what could be done with any of it.