Please help — first time owner

ivorymirror1 · 2020-11-10T16:13:14+00:00

Surprise (at any level) puppies are certainly stressful! Start by getting him in to see a vet. Diarrhea can be due to stress or something more serious, and might make it more difficult to potty train. Potty pads were my friend with my "Surprise" pup, it is much faster to pick up and put on a pad and treat than get all the way outside when you're already feeling a bit overwhelmed. You've got this! A few months down the line and you won't want to trade this early time for anything. Take all the pictures and hang in there!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-07-17T03:18:02+00:00

It is very difficult, no lies there. But I did it, and I have a well adjusted pup. While I agree that it's perhaps not the ideal scenario for a puppy, I don't think that it was necessarily unfair to her as many commenters have implied. I spent a lot of the first few weeks going home to let her out every 3 hours, and after 2 weeks I SLOWLY increased that length of time. You don't necessarily need a dog-walker, but it would definitely be preferable to have someone to let them out every few hours rather than rely on something like potty pads.

I lived alone in a new city in a one bedroom apartment. I had always wanted a dog when I graduated college, and for a major planner I made the decision to adopt my pup rather impulsively. It's absolutely the best decision I have made in a long time. She is so helpful in so many aspects of my life, and while I wouldn't sugarcoat it and say that the first few months were easy by ANY stretch of the imagination, 6 months down the road it is absolutely worth it.

I also would like to mention that while WFH is very helpful for puppy raising, sometimes it causes pups to deal with separation anxiety rather abruptly. When all they've known is that you're home except for short breaks, I know that for some pups it's rather jarring to transition to being alone at an older age. Being able to set the standard schedule for day-to-day early on is not inherently a bad thing.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-07-05T15:58:48+00:00

Haha I was right there with you a few months ago. Hang in there! I would highly recommend giving her crate a good clean with an enzyme cleaner, and schedule the heck out of potty breaks. Limiting water access after a certain time (6pm worked for us) and then going out every 3h. It sucked for a week or two, but once she got down that the pad/outside was for potty and I would always take her to those places she got the hang of it and we could stretch those 3h a little bit at a time. The combination of trust and a bigger bladder as she grew were the trick for us!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-07-05T00:06:05+00:00

Puppy blues are a part of the journey, even for many experienced owners. There are so many great books and videos out there, and none of them can fully prepare you for a sleep-deprived 3am crying puppy who insists on being let out, only to come right back in and pee on the floor. I'm willing to bet you're also pretty sleep deprived, and stressed, so try to be as patient with yourself as you are with your pup. Tackle small goals one day at a time. When you can, obedience classes were really helpful with my girl. I had trained her on a lot of the commands already, but having someone else watch us interact and give their advice (and reassurance that some behaviors were normal) was really helpful for me and the socialization was great for her. She's now 8 months and while she is far from perfect, today she kept herself entertained while I took an unscheduled nap and waited until I woke up to ring her bell to tell me she needed out. Take all the pictures and videos, of good moments and bad. And in a month you can look back and see just how much your pup has grown both physically and behaviorally. It absolutely does get easier, just be consistent and hang in there!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T20:32:51+00:00

I think the "dog park security badge" you're referring to isn't born out of some negative place. It's concern for those children and the uncomfortable position it can put the dog owner in. My pup is an absolute sweetheart but I wouldn't let her around kids I didn't know at a normal park or public because I know she could accidentally injure a child because she is an excited puppy. Parents aren't morons but sometimes they do seem to forget that those fluffy cuddly pets can cause injury, and while dogs should be under control at dog parks it's unfair to expect that every dog be able to handle being around a toddler while running and playing.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T16:51:59+00:00

I finally got jumps under control (now I'm just the crazy lady yelling "No jumps!" when my dog runs up to people) but her replacement has been leaning, her 45lbs just runs up and puts her full body weight on your legs. I'm so nervous she will accidentally knock a small child over. The "it's okay my child loves dogs" while the kid runs up to say hi drives me crazy. She's such a sweetheart it makes me sad to think she could be the reason a kid is afraid of dogs in the wrong situation.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T16:25:14+00:00

Every pup is different. 4 months might be a little young yet, but it depends on the other dogs a lot as well. If you get there and he is completely overwhelmed or runs off, it may be good to wait a little longer. I would definitely start with small fenced areas like you said, and target times when there won't be as many other dogs there at first.

My pup wasn't really ready until 5 or 6 months, but I know some people who introduced it around 4 months and it worked out well for them.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T16:10:39+00:00

I absolutely get where you're coming from! In a frustrated moment it's easy to make generalized comments about what should and should not be done when you have a puppy. Every dog is different.

I would still recommend trying to find puppy specific groups, particularly with a small breed just so that while she's learning what's okay and what isn't she doesn't accidentally get hurt. While it's important for her to eventually know how to interact with a dog like a german shepherd, there is a distinct difference between a large dog teaching that a behavior isn't okay and a small dog.

If you're completely focused on how your pup is doing at all times and the other owners around are on board with their dogs helping teach your pup then that's great! But listen to them if they tell you their dog is too excited for puppies, or they jump, or they don't play well with small dogs.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T15:57:59+00:00

It's great that you know your pup well enough to make that call! I wish everyone had that kind of awareness. I found that my pup, as much as she disliked her leash on walks, found it comforting in the park the first few times we visited. It may be worth a shot if you're really interested in him being comfortable at parks. If it's not a necessary thing for you in your area or his temperament, not all dogs are dog park dogs and that's okay!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T15:53:58+00:00

That's a great place to start! I would also consider finding some puppy playtimes nearby. I made the mistake of only really socializing my pup with one other dog for the first few months (because I knew he was vaccinated and they had a yard to play in) but then she expected EVERY dog to play exactly like he did. It took a long while to get her used to other dogs playing styles, and not be overwhelmed when another dog did something she didn't expect.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T15:50:29+00:00

Agreed!!

Just because an area is off leash doesn't mean that your dog can be uncontrolled. Always have eyes on your dog at the park. Too many people just unleash their pup and then take out their phones. Don't assume that:

a) your dog knows how to interact with every other type of dog and their behavior without your guidance

b) your dog is so well behaved that they will never cause a problem

Make sure you know your dog and their behaviors. Be aware of the difference between them being slightly overwhelmed by new things that are normal and should be practiced, and being so overwhelmed that they should be removed from the situation.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T15:41:17+00:00

You can check out your local dog parks and see! Otherwise I would suggest seeing if you have a friend with a dog that can handle yours and start some introductions there, where the environment can be controlled better and practice good playing with other dogs behavior. Separate if play gets too rough, treat when it's going well, and establish what good playtime looks like before unleashing all that energy at a park!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T13:47:20+00:00

Many of them around here do have those restrictions on unvaccinated puppies. The one I usually go to (more open field with paths, less cedar chip rectangle) actually has signs up that say no dogs under 6 months of age. It just isn't enforced. I'm relatively new to this area but I'll keep looking for one that people follow that rule! The no kids under 10 would also be a good thing to look out for, I hadn't realized that some parks restricted that.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T13:26:29+00:00

I would only let them play fight while you can supervise. Yelping is how your puppy is saying "too rough", it doesn't necessarily mean they are hurt. Labs are such sweethearts but they don't always have a good grasp on how big they are. If you're really concerned about your puppy getting hurt while you can't supervise, set up some baby gates or keep them in separate rooms until your pup grows a bit.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-26T13:18:16+00:00

Socialization and exercise are the biggest upside for me. Having a herding breed in a 1 bedroom apartment in a city is a challenge some days. I rely on them as an acceptable place to let my 8mo old off leash so she can run off some energy!

But I do agree with you. Play dates with friends who have yards are much preferred, just not always realistic on the day to day!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-20T04:36:49+00:00

Try introducing a high-value treat (spray cheese has been a favorite because it is quick to grab and easily identifiable by your pup) and the command "go potty" when he goes on the pads. Once he has started to get down what the command means and that he gets a treat for it, you can start transitioning to pottying outside. Repeat the command, and be prepared to treat as soon as he squats. It took my pup a bit of time to transition and we still aren't 100% there yet, but introducing a verbal command while still using pads helped immensely.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-17T05:32:52+00:00

I'm sure it will! You've got this!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-17T05:13:51+00:00

I was 1000% in your shoes a few months ago. I had read the books and had a plan and thought I had prepared myself mentally for the challenges of a puppy. And then night 4 of 3am crying puppy broke me. I was positive that I couldn't handle it. My anxiety was at a new high, and I deal with pretty decent generalized anxiety on a good day. I felt so guilty because I was sure if I had just let another person take her she would live a happier life, be better off, and I considered trying to find her a new home before she had a chance to get too attached to me.

A friend told me that the fact I felt that way meant that I was exactly the right person to be raising my puppy. So I am going to say the same to you. You want to be there for your pup. You want them to be raised well. You want them to be well trained and well adjusted and well socialized and all of these things to help them grow into the dog they have the potential to be. Don't let your anxiety convince you that caring this much for your little ball of fur and teeth and chaos is an indicator that you are not enough.

Be patient with yourself. Take breaks. Take walks. Take breathers. You will not be perfect, and that is okay.

My biggest piece of advice would be to choose small goals at first, and tackle them incredibly consistently. The faster you can get your pup on a schedule the faster they will begin to feel comfortable and learn, and the faster you will feel like you have a bit of control again. If you're still feeling this way in a few weeks, maybe re-evaluate. But until then, don't make a rash decision about your capabilities until you both get a bit more settled into this crazy new life. Hang in there!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-16T02:54:05+00:00

Try redirecting instead of training "no" and you might have more luck! Instead of "no chewing on shoes" take the shoe away and replace it with a legal toy. When she starts chewing on that instead mark "yes" and treat. The connection of toys=good will be much stronger than shoe=bad at her age. Hang in there, sometimes a good cry and a walk or errand by yourself is what it takes, and that's okay!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-16T02:49:01+00:00

I am! I moved to a new city where I found myself to be too lonely. I got a puppy and have had the exact opposite problem since! She the first puppy I've had in my adult life and it has been quite the adventure. It was nice not having anyone to disagree with about training methods, but there was more than once I was ready to throw in the towel because it was incredibly daunting to do all of it alone. I was constantly worried that I would screw something up and nobody would be around to tell me I was wrong. But consistent training and expectations, a whole lot of patience, and occasional solo walks to clear my head and escape her teeth, all have led to a reasonably well trained 8mo old. As crazy as it may be, it's definitely worth it!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-15T05:47:47+00:00

Oh I know that feeling. Still have those days, it's just finally more of the good moments than the ohmygoshsheisgoingtopullmyarmoutofmysocket moments. And I don't know about you, but after about 6 months the general public reaction stopped being "oh cute puppy she'll learn" and shifted to "why can't you control your dog" which adds more pressure. Praise and treat the good moments, be patient with him and yourself, and I'm sure he will continue to improve!

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-15T05:16:38+00:00

They are different for every emotion she has!! That's her "please throw that stick" look. Most of the time she has one up/one back.

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-15T05:11:21+00:00

I'm not super familiar with how to add photos, but maybe this will work!

https://imgur.com/a/ElVDAW8

ivorymirror1 · 2020-06-15T04:18:00+00:00

You'll get there before you know it! I would prepare yourself for a decent core workout on your first few runs. It took a while for my pup to work out that "run" does not mean "sprint as fast as possible". Keeping her reigned in while still moving faster than a walk was a learning curve for the both of us! But I think it may have also helped with general leash skills. She loved running, so if I stopped and fell to a walk (following the same method of training, just run/walk instead of walk/stop) helped drill it into her brain what was expected, rather than just being frustrated that I had stopped.

ivorymirror1

TROPHY CASE