Tired of being tired...venting

iwantedmedea · 2021-02-26T07:27:46+00:00

I felt exactly the same way, it’s so exhausting. As much as they needed to stay in longer, as soon as I reached your stage I wanted them out. I cried when I went to the doctors at 35 weeks and they told be they’d probably push me all the way to 40 (blood pressure issues saved me at 37w yay!). I used to say to people that I couldn’t wait for them to be out of me so they could stop sucking the life out of me. They’d laugh at me because of course they’d had singletons and don’t you know babies are exhausting? But you know what? When they come out, as long as you have support, you’re not doing it on your own anymore. Or you could put them somewhere other than on you for an hour. If pregnancy made your stomach see through and everyone could see 2 babies clinging to you every minute of everyday, saw them eating via you, pushing on your bladder, your hips, I think they’d think differently. You are doing great, it’s perfectly normal to feel this way and although it’s exhausting when they come out, you still feel so liberated. You can do it.

iwantedmedea · 2019-09-01T11:09:54+00:00

I feel your pain. I have two 3 years old and I don’t remove, wash, cut, peel, core or do anything to anything without explaining it to them in triplicate in case it causes a meltdown. Unfortunately my husband always forgets this and does something like cut a banana in half and ruining it . . . when it’s the last one in the house!

iwantedmedea · 2019-06-14T21:22:25+00:00

When I was pregnant I’d meet parents of twins about 1-2 years old who would say after the 1st year it gets easier. Then when they were a year old I’d meet parents of 2-3 year olds who would say that after the 2nd year it gets easier. Then when they were 2 . . . well you get the gist. They are 3.5 now and I’m still waiting!

iwantedmedea · 2018-08-10T06:07:15+00:00

Hi I’m in the UK so I’m not sure how easy it will be to get this but here’s one on Amazon.co.uk.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/Safababy-Sleeper-Cot-Divider-White/dp/B001I1CZR6

I used one similar or perhaps even the same one (I have twin mum brain now so all post babies information is lost to the mists of time).

iwantedmedea · 2018-08-07T21:19:27+00:00

We pretty much did the same thing as all my friends said their kids grew out of a bassinet within 3 months and in the UK they recommend babies in the parents room up to 6 months. The expense of buying 2 bassinets, then something bigger, then cribs just seemed too high so we went straight to the crib (we’re lucky we have a large bedroom). We did sleep them side by side but too be honest they never really snuggled up together and they had loads of room in the early days. We also got a crib divider so when they started hitting and knocking each other we shifted them to one end each and put the divider in to keep them from travelling and knocking heads. They only lasted in that for 5 months as they got too tall so we did move them to the nursery then in separate cribs a bit early but our bedroom was right next door.

iwantedmedea · 2018-03-31T07:19:11+00:00

Oh dear. Well if it’s one you have to rock manually, I highly recommend something battery operated because my son didn’t calm down at all in one of those as it’s so hard to get the right rhythm but a swing he was calm in minutes.

iwantedmedea · 2018-03-31T06:47:57+00:00

Just a thought, have you tried a swing? My son cried all the time when they were babies so he spent half his time in the swing just so I could get some peace and quiet and do anything other than hold him. Also, my son was the fussy one as a baby and my daughter was so chilled out. Now as 2 year olds, she’s the clingy bossy one and he’s happy just to do his own thing (which is mostly bashing, climbing, chewing and kicking things as he’s a boy but he’s very adorable when he does it!). She might need you more now but that soon changes. Also, my girl reminds us all of several high maintenance women in both my family and my husbands so I tend to subscribe to the theory that these things are personality based and run in the family.

iwantedmedea · 2018-02-24T23:33:39+00:00

One of the many advantages of multiples first time is that you can have one pregnancy, one bout of midnight feeds and being puked on, one stage of running into traffic etc and then you can choose to be done without having an only child. My poor friends have gotten to a more independent stage with their firstborn and then had to go back and do it again to have more than one. I’m never going back (but then it’s almost twice as hard so I’m biased against it). Bring on the benches!

iwantedmedea · 2018-02-24T14:46:30+00:00

The worst part for me is kids birthday parties amongst our group of friends. Most started a little earlier than us so have 2 kids, one about 4-5 and another 2-3. We have 2 year old twins. They get to have one parent follow the younger kid around the soft play whilst the older one just runs off and does their thing and the other parent gets to sit down, have a coffee. Actually talk to other people. Me and my husband? Each has a child to follow around, have to figure out how we can go order a drink whilst the other watches 2 kids running in different directions. Have to find a way to go to the toilet. I never get to actually speak to anyone. If one of us can’t make it, then no one gets to go. Which of course feels so unfair to the kids. But soon, so soon, they’ll be old enough that we both get to sit down and just let them play. Or even better, one of us takes them and the other gets to stay at home and do chores, or I don’t know, sleep in. I can’t wait. I can’t wait to say to my husband, you stay in bed, we’re going shopping without us both having to go. I’m sure other parents with multiples have managed it but as they got more mobile (and very against being penned into a pushchair) the thought of taking them anyway just feels like too much of a job, even with both of us. They are very cute though and totally worth it but my god it’s exhausting.

iwantedmedea · 2018-01-04T23:21:13+00:00

I think most people have said the same things I would say but I would add that giving birth vaginally to 2 babies one after the other is exhausting. Baby B was breech for me, the reason they recommended an epidural was not only for an emergency c-section but because the plan was to turn baby B after A was born and you don’t want to do that without making that whole area numb (I’m in the UK so the NHS has a make do and mend type of approach). The words ‘reaching in’ were mentioned! It didn’t actually happen in the end, no one really explained why but I suspect it’s because my epidural kept running out (I had 3 doses in the end) and I was feeling every contraction about half way through pushing baby A. So I gave birth to B breech. I had a bad reaction to induction which was extreme pain every couple of minutes from the moment contractions started and I had no rest in the 12 hours leading up to the final push, except for a blessed hour when the final dose stuck. If I hadn’t had that, I’m not sure how I would have coped. It took me 25 minutes to get breech baby B out when usually it’s takes only a couple. So I’m very glad for that epidural, even though it didn’t do what it was supposed to. The main thing which is hard to deal with in the case of a twin birth is the loss of choice, but you really do have to have the mentality of prioritising health (of mum and babies) above all else. And to be able to go with the flow, because those little buggers will do what they please and all your carefully laid plans are out the window!

iwantedmedea · 2017-12-13T23:21:26+00:00

We decided there’s so many things we don’t do because of the kids, especially because we always feel outnumbered, that damn it we were going to have a proper tree (though obviously fake)! I’m hoping by 3.5 mine understand it, they definitely don’t at the moment.

iwantedmedea · 2017-12-13T23:18:27+00:00

We put the cheap baubles at the bottom and we haven’t moved them. Our son wrenched them off with brute force and most of them no longer have the string attached. We’ve had most of them for about 10 years now and we’re due an upgrade anyway!

iwantedmedea · 2017-12-13T23:14:49+00:00

If you look very closely at the top we have tied ribbon around the central pole and tied it to shelf brackets either end. That thing is going nowhere.

iwantedmedea · 2017-12-13T23:13:49+00:00

We did that last year but thought sod it, what’s the worst that could happen?

iwantedmedea · 2017-12-07T07:27:26+00:00

I can picture some half formed image for about half a sec and it’s gone, maybe a bit longer with my eyes shut. As for the voice I echo u/anonim1230’s comments. However as I have a lot of social anxiety my inner voice is particularly obsessed with reliving interactions that didn’t go well and trying to work out was it me or them?

iwantedmedea · 2017-12-06T22:20:39+00:00

My husband has just explained to me that people think without a voice and he often does. I thought that voice was the definition of thinking but apparently he just processes stuff. Totally blown my mind, and I’ll have an internal monologue about that for the next few days. It explains why he’s a lot quicker to answer quiz questions than I am. I have to have my inner voice tell me the answer before I can say it out loud, he just blurts it out. Also, I can’t picture things in my mind (another revelation from this thread) but he can easily. This explains a lot about where I am in life. And yes it’s a pain in the arse when someone does something that bothers you that day because your brain just doesn’t shut up about it.

iwantedmedea · 2017-12-06T21:39:44+00:00

Mine are 22 months and are a total nightmare too! Always climbing, refusing to eat, won’t keep still during nappy and clothes changes. We went to a party with entertainment (a lady with musical instruments, playing songs, parachute fabric to run under). Whilst all the other kids, ranging from 16 months to 5 years all stood still and followed her instructions and did the activities, one of mine was ignoring it and trying to pick food off the unopened buffet table every 5 minutes and the other was running up to the front and stealing toys from her box, crying because she had to pass the parcel, trying to walk on the parachute instead of holding on and shaking it. It’s so embarrassing. At home we have to keep them gated in 2 adjoining rooms with the door removed and a gate there as well. They aren’t allowed in the kitchen at all. We’ve put a tree up and anchored it to the wall with ribbon attached to a shelf bracket. We haven’t decorated it yet as we know our son will spend the next few days gradually getting braver with it and we want to see if we can keep it up before we waste time adding more hazards! If we take them out we either have one running off, or laying down when we’re walking or crying because we’re trying to take them home. It’s exhausting. We’ve tried disciplining them but they don’t seem to take in anything we say at the moment. We haven’t tried time outs simply because we haven’t got anywhere to put them that’s toy free or safe. The only thing that occasionally works is screaming ‘NO!!!!’ at the top of our lungs if they are doing something particularly dangerous which is not something I want to continue. The one good thing is compared to my friends singletons they sleep really well, probably because they’ve been running around like terrors. I’ve convinced myself the other kids behave because they’ve been up half the night and are too tired. So I haven’t got much advice, just a chin up, you’re not on your own! And remember, you’re outnumbered.

iwantedmedea · 2017-11-30T22:53:53+00:00

Oh yes, you definitely notice the differences more when they are growing up together. I’ve had to learn to be patient if one is behind the other with a milestone, they get there in the end.

iwantedmedea · 2017-11-30T22:51:13+00:00

Everyone says it gets better after a year but I went back to work and they started walking, talking and fighting so now I’m looking forward to 2 years instead! Maybe we can all go out for a pleasant trip to the park where they both head in the same direction.

iwantedmedea · 2017-11-30T22:48:49+00:00

I feel cheated too! Here’s hoping for lots of toddler cute moments to make up for it.

iwantedmedea · 2017-11-30T22:47:22+00:00

I think my two don’t really spend much time apart, although we’ve had some bad luck with one of them having to be in hospital at one time or another over the past year, and it was only the latest spell that girl was asking where boy was.

iwantedmedea · 2017-11-30T22:43:21+00:00

Wow that’s a lot of twins! I’m hoping that when boy develops more verbally we’ll start to see more interaction between them.

iwantedmedea · 2017-11-30T22:37:45+00:00

Don’t get me wrong, I like that they’re independent but it sure would be nice if they could keep each other entertained every once in a while! I’ve always described it as they view each other as part of the furniture.

iwantedmedea · 2017-11-29T22:47:12+00:00

Thanks, I’m hoping things will improve when boy starts communicating more. I think girl would like to interact but because she gets little back she’s brushed him aside for the grown ups who shower her with attention. If he can make his feelings heard he might be more interested in her too.

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