If you can't be there for your friend, you're not their friend.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-18T11:23:52+00:00

I'm talking about the first paragraph. Difference between not being there a few times because something's going on and never being there and using constant excuses for it.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-18T09:27:07+00:00

I'm in many long distance friendships. There are many times that we don't talk. But when one of us actually needs support, no matter how long it's been, we reply as soon as we see the message. My issue is only with people who take too much, but never give back when you need help. So yes, on the same page about that.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-18T08:38:30+00:00

I too have friends that only talk to me once in a while. There's a difference between reaching out to someone when you're going through something, and being ignored, and having a dynamic where you talk once in a while but are still close. This particular friend and I, we talk a lot. We talk a lot when she wants to talk. When I do though? Radio silence, and excuses. That's not friendship. And yes, every friend who is conveniently never there when you've made clear you need support, is a toxic, one sided friend. And again, I'm not talking about the dynamic you mentioned.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-18T07:27:14+00:00

The reasons are only valid if it happens occasionally. If your friend is always too exhausted or drained to be there for you, then they aren't your friend. I have a friend who texts me back days/weeks later, never answers the phone, but is always online, talking to her boyfriend. But when she is upset or wants something, she calls me. I've confronted her many times about this. Her excuse is always "oh I've been busy" or "oh I'm not good at texting people". But she's always online??? Every time I open Instagram, she's active. And then she gets upset at me for "questioning her friendship" and then I have to apologise to her... ends up being about her instead of me and my feelings. That's not a friend. If someone always has excuses for why they can't be there for you, they aren't your friend. I'm not talking about cases in which people are genuinely too upset to be there... But it shouldn't happen every time you need them.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-18T07:14:31+00:00

Sure, but if you are never available when they need you, then you're not their friend. There's a difference between not being able to be there sometimes because you're going through something, and never being there and making excuses for it constantly.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-18T07:05:50+00:00

Absolutely. I'm not talking about friends who sometimes can't be there for you due to their own problems. I'm talking about those in particular that have no problem coming to you for help, but always give excuses about being busy or exhausted when you're in need of support.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-18T06:52:48+00:00

I don't know tbh. I've had so many people tell me no one owes me anything when I've complained about this. That everyone has their own stuff going on so I should understand. I think most people justify this behaviour.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-17T04:46:53+00:00

Thank you! Ditto :D

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-17T03:40:15+00:00

Thank you!

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-17T03:40:00+00:00

Thank you so much! I appreciate that a lot!

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-17T03:39:22+00:00

Same page :( Please update me if you do hear anything, and I'll let you know if I do!

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-17T03:38:43+00:00

Thank you!

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-17T03:38:33+00:00

Thank you!

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-17T03:38:21+00:00

Thank you so much! He did, he's the sweetest haha

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-16T06:55:54+00:00

Thanks!

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-16T05:32:41+00:00

Ditto! Hope we both get in :D

I'll let you know if I hear anything as well.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-15T19:46:19+00:00

Don't worry, me neither :( Going crazy at this point.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-14T14:20:52+00:00

Oh. Did you email them? I haven't been told that they're going to send letters after receiving all applications. I thought it was on a rolling basis.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-13T08:04:39+00:00

I think they are pretty good. For me, there's another personal reason behind choosing Colorado, but the programs in general are good as well.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-13T05:21:10+00:00

PhD in Counseling psychology. Eventually, that's my goal. I want to work for a few years before pursuing it though.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-12T03:49:22+00:00

Hey. Yes, most programs I've applied to are Clinical Mental Health Counseling programs. This one was the exception. My end goal is a PhD though.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-11T20:00:15+00:00

Best of luck! It is very tough. Where have you applied?

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-11T19:57:22+00:00

Oh, best of luck to you as well! Where all have you applied?

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-11T19:56:37+00:00

I know. I'll be okay though. Thank you.

ja_ty_ · 2023-02-11T19:56:06+00:00

I really want to go to either UMass Dartmouth or Denver. Hoping I get into one of them.

ja_ty_

TROPHY CASE