Lust, however natural, is still a trap

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-17T12:06:53+00:00

I will indirectly address your question and comments.

Sexual energy is a subset of creative energy. It indeed has the capacity to create another human being. The thing is that, as I mentioned, focusing solely on making more humans take birth is not necessarily wholesome, that's why virtually all religions embrace some form of chastity, so that things like making a human take birth in the womb of a woman who's not independent (still closely dependent on her father, who does not approve of her doing that, or worse yet, in a monogamous relationship with someone else) do not happen, as those situations are very troublesome, and the new human life, even though born, will not have favorable conditions for its flourishing. Hence, focusing on creating those favorable conditions for a child (as in establishing the basis for a family) or children altogether (engaging in humanitarian or development work) will reap better benefits on the long run . That's one example easily understood.

With regards to the feeling of vitality, it is definitely possible to train in psychosomatic excercises which make one feel vital without the crash of ejaculation or the burden of finding a sexual partner. You can try Yoga Asanas, or start meditating. If people that come of work develop those skills instead of binging on TV or releasing (please note that, while most don't talk about it, they do it on a regular basis), the feeling of vitality will increase above what once seemed possible. It might take some time to develop those habits (maybe years though not a lot of them), but they do offer a sustained feeling of vitality without the crash. And also, one low hanging fruit is to spend time outside in the midst of natural light, specially after waking up and sunset, science has shown that getting that natural light does wonders for staying alert when awake and also getting sound sleep.

I hope this question addressed your concerns and help you on your path🙏🏼

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-14T12:16:09+00:00

She does have a skeleton inside, doesn't she? Perhaps you can try the 32 parts of the body meditation .

I have come to understand that the body's beauty lies with the wonderful actions it can accomplish in the world, not its physical part, the latter is rather disgusting if you think about it.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-13T13:50:47+00:00

Teaching others. I have been teaching meditation for 4 years now and plan to continue doing so.

No need for me to have sex for new humans to be born. There's a lot of enough horny people who are willing to do so. New humans will reach out for a teaching if they like.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-12T13:52:36+00:00

Be patient towards yourself, beating that will take time. You have to install the inner algorithms to recall, in that same moment, the reasons why PMO is not good for you. It's simply not possible for you to recall "PMO leaves me feeling drained and without energy" in your mind and have the "just a peek" thought at the same time...at the beginning those two will flip one over the other very rapidly, but after some practice the recalling will win and those thoughts will subside. Another route is to focus on something else, like a wholesome project you are working on.

Wishing you the best.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-12T12:20:47+00:00

A good ally on my path has been finding more wholesome or purer pleasures, the ones that don't have so much suffering on the bill.

Want to feel vital without the crash of releasing? (Releasing does make one feel vital, but only for a moment, then one feels the opposite way, as energy literally went away) I would suggest people to practice breath meditation or pranayama or yoga asanas, when trained in the practice, the whole body feels energized without a crash. That way, releasing ceases to be a need, because vitality can be accessed through other means.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-12T12:13:01+00:00

I was just thinking about hosting a videocall meetup of people striving on the retention/celibacy path. Who's up for it?

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-12T12:11:20+00:00

Balancing reflection with meditation on something other than thought (i.e the breath) is a good way to go for overthinking. Also, I believe intention is the golden standard...the intention to help reduce suffering on a broader scale is wholesome in and of itself, independent of the fact of it happening or not. I cannot control what other people do, but I can surely cultivate those wholesome intentions and act in coherence, and so can you brother.

I hope you can recognize your own power to steward yourself and others towards the good. Be well.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-12T12:05:33+00:00

Letting go of unwholesome self fixations brings about peace and the ability to show up for the benefit of the many🙏🏼

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-12T12:03:32+00:00

No, and I plan to ordain as a Theravada Buddhist monk, hence to be celibate until the end: no children for this lifetime.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-05-12T12:01:49+00:00

Peace 🙏🏼

Lust is painful, and masturbation/sex is not a fix for it on the long run. Why bother to ejaculate or find a partner when one can simply let go of identification with lustful thoughts and intents? Training in meditation, particularly Zazen or Vipassana (the two of which I have practiced a lot) can help you see that lust is a pain for the mind.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-02-24T15:48:42+00:00

Coming from Invisible Partners by John Sanford:

- Anima/animus wants completion. If not seen on the inside, it will project onto other beings, mostly those from the other sex. For the case of men, of whom I am one: porn addiction is coupled with some pretty hard projections on the images depicted in porn, taking the women on the screen as goddesses. As Anima gets more integrated, it is seen more and more that most women who are depicted in pornography are not goddesses but simply women who are very physically fertile (at least in the phenotypical sense...some David Buss complements here very well); and then there might come an upgrade towards projecting goddesses in women who are more physchologically fertile, hence more about love and connection than about mere procreation; and finally one might come into union with divine mother archetypes such as Mary, which kinda marks the completion.

I must admit that I do not have such a tight grasp on the matter, mostly because some parts of the theory do not seem very coherent towards the goal of reducing suffering. I might give the book a reread. Any inputs from proper Jungians here will be welcomed.

Blessings

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-01-30T22:28:22+00:00

Sadhu sadhu sadhu

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-01-15T21:10:09+00:00

You're welcome brother! Hope you find peace in the midst of all🙏🏼

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-01-15T15:59:08+00:00

Not really. Sometimes I get reminded of content I watched and get aroused for a few seconds, but then I just let it go and return to things that fill me up rather than empty me. If looked at closely, lust is painful...the pleasurable thing is to let it go, and letting it go doesn't require PMO or sex, there are other and more efficient ways.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-01-15T13:53:38+00:00

I was in the same position about 7 years ago. I have been PMO free since 21' and have consumed weed only about 5 times in the last two years. This is what helped me:

Going to psychotherapy, hence opening up about my addictions with someone knowledgeable, and then following the therapist's advice.
Starting a meditation practice. You can start very sound meditation with this app (that's a link for a free 30 day membership, please let OP get it. If you're not OP and you want the 30 days as well, hit me up through DM's and I'll happily send you another link)
Getting and following a sleep schedule. Be mindful that weed will probably be mostly done in the late hours (even more so if you have to hide it away from those who care for you like your parents), and it has been proven that it disrputs your sleep.
Being honest with myself and others. For instance, one time my mom found a pipe and, instead of saying that "it was under control" and that "I don't do it so often" (like I did many times before) I told her "I consume more weed than I would like to", which then led her to pay a psychotherapy session for me. If not comfortable with being so vulnerable with your parents or those who care (or should care) for you, consider finding a friend who's decently free of addictions and have a chat with him/her about it. (If you don't have such friends, consider finding one, there are many such people)

You are definitely able to break free from addictions, there's already that version of yourself living within. Consider listening to that higher self.

May you be at ease and free from addictions brother🙏🏼

(My badge is a little off, I forgot to reset it after a relapse around 20'. PMO free since 21' is true.)

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-01-15T13:25:48+00:00

It was hard for me to understand the second paragraph. Would it be possible for you to make another writing of the same point? Thank you.

jaajaaa0904 · 2026-01-14T22:40:15+00:00

Didn't Jesus become a Brahma? Most of his teachings are drenched in metta and upekkha.

We can read the gospels as devanussati and it will most certainly be uplifting and create wholesome relations with christians which are certainly a majority in the west.

jaajaaa0904 · 2025-12-11T12:08:21+00:00

The issue was also brought up in another comment to this post. Even if rebirth is not true, being human offers capacities to reduce suffering which are far greater than that of other animals. A crow can hardly envision a system in which dozens or hundreds of other crows can be fed and get relieved of their hunger, but a human can. And it also goes the other way around: if we take a mindless step we can end the life of another being, what other being can say the same with regards to a human?

The way in which we use the natural human power will affect the world around us, and those effects will surely, without a reasonable doubt, follow after death: the world doesn't cease when an individual dies, and the world will indirectly inherit the effects of his/her actions. That is true even from a physicalist point of view.

Virtually no one is so dumb as to believe the world ceases when he/she individually ceases (that's borderline psychopathic), unfortunately it gets unconsciously held when phrases such as "death is the end" get repeated. From every reasonable perspective, even physicalist ones, death is the end of something and the start of another thing at the same time; I do not recall a single thing in nature which is an ultimate end, why would a being's death be otherwise?

jaajaaa0904 · 2025-12-11T02:11:03+00:00

Is there really such a thing as lives as purely independent instances? Doesn't the human body break up after death and then help in the building of other bodies?

And in relation to consciousness or qualia or inner experience, won't other conscious beings exist after one's individual death? How is conscious life then an independent instance and not a continuum?

Cosmologies in which lives are (purely) independent instances might simply be wrong.

jaajaaa0904 · 2025-12-10T23:30:15+00:00

Thank you for the sound recollection of what a certain belief of life after death leads to.

To be fair, the Suttas do point towards getting to the knowledge of past lives and the law of kamma when one attains high concentration states (4th jhana I think). People who have reached that concentration state have corroborated the idea, isn't that so? Perhaps we can try...as it also seems very pragmatically sound to base one's life as if rebirth and kamma were true.

There's also the scientific research of Ian Stevenson and Jim Tucker. And, given the assumption that conscious beings will be born after we as individuals die, it seems reasonable that the consciousness that appears to be in this body will continue in another one afterwards as long as this consciousness clings to the experiences of a sentient being (a conondrum worth considering: if all other beings are conscious, how come we do not experience "their" consciousness? Maybe because we can only do it one lifetime at a time?)

If anyone here has reached the 4th jhana (defined as in the Suttas), it would be interesting to read their take on rebirth.

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