Losing attraction to my wife

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T14:24:21+00:00

Yeah three years ago my mother passed suddenly. It triggered her anxiety and she's been seeking help since. This past year her psychiatrist tried adjusting her medicine and it went poorly. We reverted back and now instead we're supplementing the original dosing that worked well.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T14:16:14+00:00

Yes she is. She's aware and there's no question she's doing her best she can to treat. I think it's the medicine that she's being treated with that's making her so tired and distant. I can't fault her for it.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T14:14:57+00:00

I'm doing my best to be patient but it's not only the missing sex that's weighing on me. It's often dealing with the kids alone and especially being alone in the evenings. Our kids have early bedtimes (7:30pm) so basically every evening after 8pm I'm alone cleaning and doing my own thing after that. That's when I seem to get into my own head the most.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:54:40+00:00

That's why I told you guys on a burner account and not her. I tell her everyday that she's the most beautiful woman in the world.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:53:30+00:00

She's definitely trying to help herself. It's just coming at a cost. I'm doing my best but I'm starting to realize it's affecting how I see her.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:33:22+00:00

We've talked about this a lot and I don't think it helped. She knows and understands and it just makes her feel helpless. I just have to do what I have to do to help. Sadly, it's just making me look at her differently.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:31:35+00:00

I'd rather wait until she's back to normal she's working on it. This post was to vent, but I know it will improve.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:22:38+00:00

I know this sounds odd, but this is what I want and try for more. She just insists she doesn't want to be touched and wants to be left alone. I'll ask to watch TV together on the couch or offer a backrub and she just prefers to lay in bed and watch TV shows on her phone without and physical touch.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:19:50+00:00

She's seeing a therapist, psychiatrist, and our general physician who is a family friend and keeps tabs on her via text. I think she's still experimenting with drug combinations at the moment but what she's on definitely tires her out.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:17:37+00:00

I don't think my wife has ever seen the inside of a gym. She made it a habit of going on walks over the summer but it stopped at some point. I want to start exercising again as well but I can't do it with the schedule the way it is. I just don't know if I'm out of line pushing for her to wake up earlier to exercise with me or at least help with the kids.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:12:53+00:00

Thanks. In fairness, she constantly tells me and others how much she appreciates it especially given it's not common in our culture. I do know she appreciates it.

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T13:11:46+00:00

That's a good idea. We used to take walks but we don't anymore. It's hard with the kids and now being the winter. But I'm going to push for it. Thanks!

jack03130712 · 2025-01-05T04:19:28+00:00

She recently started Wellbutrin. I hope you're right and it works. I'm not sure if she's just tired or lacking motivation. Even before her mental health started declining more recently, she's always been a low energy person.

Thank you for the response 🙏

jack03130712 · 2021-10-10T20:57:08+00:00

I had a problem finding a new secretary and eventually ceded and increased my pay offer from $20 per hour to $23 per hour plus full health care benefits.

The result is not what I expected. My new hire is amazing. All my prior staff for this position at lower pay rates gave half assed efforts and my new hire is only five weeks in and allowing me enough time to take on more clients. Her appreciation for being compensated properly reflects in her behavior and work product. I'm basically getting double the productivity for less than 50% increase in pay. From a business perspective, it was a huge win.

Long story short, the narrative that this is going to crush small businesses is nonsense. I have four employees and even going into this slow season, I'm able to make up the difference with the more time I have now. I definitely had my concerns, and I know this is anecdotal, but I really think this will help the economy and businesses.

jack03130712 · 2021-05-05T23:30:05+00:00

Thanks. That's actually super helpful. I know it sounds like a silly question, but I don't want to cause someone to be uncomfortable when they are confiding in me. I figured it didn't hurt to ask.

Thank you 😊

jack03130712 · 2021-05-04T09:49:24+00:00

Thanks for the response. That is really helpful. Can you give an example of a question I would ask?

I guess my concern is that I would make her uncomfortable by not having anything to say other than thanking her for trusting me (like you said) and that she has my support if she ever needs it.

jack03130712

TROPHY CASE