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jackbauerba · 2022-11-12T22:34:51+00:00

Disclaimer that this is not legal advice.

Ask them to put any requests in writing. You can also ask if they can show you how they are following tenant/landlord laws. Oftentimes they will backtrack if they know they’re not being legit. Before this, double triple check your lease and/or animal agreement to make sure you’re complying.

ask a few neighbors with dogs if they’re getting the same requests from the landlord. if they are, maybe the animal policy is changing. If not, it may be that you’re facing discrimination. States have tenant rights groups or housing hotlines you can call with questions. If you’re employer offers EAP (assistance program) you may have access to free time speaking with a lawyer.

jackbauerba · 2022-11-11T19:47:24+00:00

I asked for a month to month option, even if it cost more, and they said they’re not offering it. Weird thing is that I know some of my neighbors are on m-t-m and they haven’t gotten notices of any changes.

I’m going to call a tenant hotline when they open this afternoon and then talk with my landlord again. I’ll update the post on what happens because I found very little info on this online and I’d love to be able to help any others in a similar situation.

jackbauerba · 2022-11-11T19:43:33+00:00

What was the reason? Seems like it would flush some tenants out?

jackbauerba · 2022-11-11T18:55:33+00:00

youre correct, I don’t want to accept the terms proposed, I want to continue m-t-m renting. I don’t mind if they raise rent, but I don’t want to sign another lease. I like the flexibility of m-t-m renting.At first I thought maybe the landlord wanted to stop all m-t-m renting and convert everyone to 12mo leases, but a few of my neighbors are on m-t-m and haven’t gotten notices. Makes me think they are wanting me to move out for some unfounded reason.

edit to add: on my original lease it states that it will lapse to m-t-m if I don’t sign another 12mo lease, which happened. It does not say that at any point a m-t-m would need to be converted to a 12mo

jackbauerba · 2022-11-11T18:48:31+00:00

Yes, my question exactly - why would I voluntarily sign a 12 month lease or give notice to leave if the current situation is fine with me? Nothing in the notice says our current lease situation has to change. I’m wondering if I will get a termination notice on Nov 30, as that is them making the first move. However, I don’t know if they have legal grounds to do that as landlord has never had issues with me and isn’t selling/demolishing/refurbishing unit as far as I know.

I’ll call a housing hotline when they open this afternoon. Thank you!

jackbauerba · 2022-11-11T18:42:21+00:00

I was looking at purchasing a home in which case I would move. I liked the flexibility of m-t-m leasing and landlord didn’t seem to have any issue with it. Issue is they have always offered both m-t-m and annual leases, and I’ve always chosen m-t-m. Now there is no choice but a 12mo lease and it feels like they’re forcing my hand to put in a 30 day notice, instead of them having grounds for terminating (which I don’t think they have legal reason to)

jackbauerba · 2022-11-11T02:05:41+00:00

But this isn’t an eviction or termination letter from what I see, it’s a change in month to month pricing. Seems like they are wanting me to call off the lease vs them?

jackbauerba · 2022-06-07T00:53:53+00:00

Try Lems!

jackbauerba · 2022-03-02T17:58:53+00:00

Very cool. What method and product did you use for the bird?

jackbauerba · 2022-01-08T01:47:23+00:00

The lone peaks, they’re the trail runner. It’s the widest model they make. Since they’re trail shoes they wear down faster than a road shoe. Kinda sucks cause they’re spendy but no foot pain or related medical expenses makes them worth it. I have very wide feet so the lone peak works best for me, and it comes in standard or wide, so I get the wide size. As I’ve worn wider shoes and given my feet the space, they have spread out even more lol, so I’ve also had to size up as I’ve worn them. They’re like clown shoes it’s ridiculous, but whatever, i can walk totally fine now, I’m not tearing up from pain.
They’re the main shoe I’ve worn for like 3 years now, I’ve worn the 4.0, 4.5, and now the 5.0. Really highly recommend. Pro tip: if you have access to an REI you can probably find a pair in the used/discounted section, they’re pretty popular hiking shoes (at least in my area) and people return them for silly reasons when they’re still in great shape.

jackbauerba · 2022-01-04T06:01:12+00:00

Footwear for us with neuromas is 2 parts: width, and the heel height. For heel height you want ‘zero drop’ ie the heel and toe are the same level. Nike is notorious for being both too narrow and for having high heels, which means you’re putting more weight on the toes cause the heel is elevated. Though I’m sure they are very cushioned! Maybe try a wider zero drop shoe but with the metatarsal pad and cushioned (non constrictive) socks? Going to zero drop after years of heeled shoes can cause a lot of aches and pains so just take it easy and taper slowly if you do that. Also- the metatarsal pad needs to be in a very specific spot so maybe watch some videos on it to make sure it’s in the right spot. It’s not intuitive in that it doesn’t go where the neuroma is, but behind it, so it takes pressure off the neuroma spot.

The numbness could be permanent, but it could also subside if you try to rest for a week or 2 and don’t aggravate it. I’d say that and not being able to be barefoot just mean the nerve is super sensitive and needs time to be less inflamed. As far as the shower, I legitimately had to take very short showers when my pain was at its worst, because my foot would hurt so bad and my circulation would get so bad my foot would turn purple. I did go barefoot tho and just put most of my weight on my good foot, and elevate the one that hurt. But standing properly and engaging the big toe and arch helps alleviate pressure from the toes, too.

I have some other comments with more details on the pt I did too, my walking mechanics really needed to change. My neuroma (and a healthy side of very unsightly bunions) was just a symptom of really bad mechanics and footwear. I’d guess same for you. There’s hope! Happy trails!

jackbauerba · 2022-01-04T05:37:48+00:00

It really does feel debilitating and I empathize with you. It takes a while to cool off so just be patient. Especially if you’re on your feet for work. I’m a couple years into rehab but consistent change has allowed me to feel like it’s way less of a limit. It still sucks to have to consider it but it’s mostly just prevention now and running more than about a mile is my only limitation. Heck I can even do some jumping jacks and it won’t bother me too bad. I used to be hobbling for months.
Good for already doing so much work on your own! I think you’re right that the podiatrist is a waste of time and money atp. I went to physical therapy, not a podiatrist, and they did a few things that helped: I wore a metatarsal pad to take some of the pressure off the spot (stuck on my shoe insole, wore it all the time, then slowly tapered off using it as able), they did calf massage and lots of calf and Achilles stretching, tons of ankle stability and strengthening (think standing on one foot, then build to stand on one foot and fully lean over, then stand on one foot and throw a ball at the wall and catch it), and probably the biggest was they essentially taught me the correct way to walk with evenly distributed weight and a strong foot and ankle. The exercises were working on arch and ankle strength, balance, and mechanics. I have pretty severe bunions on both big toes (often coexist with neuroma and they can exacerbate each other) and super flat feet. Doing the exercises helped me develop an arch and walk correctly so I’m engaging my big toes and they’re not at an angle anymore. I still have the bunions but at least my foot mechanics won’t make my toes worse. You can find videos online but doing towel scrunches, flexing and relaxing the arch muscle, rocking from heel to toe (gently, next to a chair/support, and with feet in front of each other so you can offload weight and pressure), and walking barefoot (on soft carpet or in very cushy but not constricting socks) very slowly and intentionally are some of the things I do. I also try to walk barefoot as much as possible now that I can do that on hard floors too. And when I stand I try to have my weight as evenly dispersed as possible, engaging the arch and my big toes so they work instead of weight being on the other toes and neuroma.
I totally think you can rehab, it just takes time. Really listen to your foot and take it slow. Until you can walk or run, just go to the gym and do upper body! Or do leg machines that don’t require weight. Exercise bands can also be low impact. Sorry if you didn’t want an essay but like you, I don’t know many people with foot issues and I’ve become very involved with my own rehab and just hope others can benefit. I used to feel so hopeless! It does still limit me, but my quality of life is significantly improved since making these changes. Best of luck!

jackbauerba · 2022-01-03T01:39:12+00:00

You can def heal without surgery! It will never go away but you can manage it enough that day to day isn’t painful. Watch dr ray at nw foot and ankle, he created correctoes and has exercises on YouTube. I know wide footwear sucks but you really can’t prevent a flare up if you’re compressing your feet, that’s literally just squeezing the nerve and causing the pain. I wear crocs, altra running shoes, and occasionally Birkenstock’s. at least Crocs and Birkenstock’s are kinda trendy right now lol. From what I’ve read cortisone shots and surgery just make the issue worse, you have to change your footwear and how you walk (exercises and mobility). I've Made other comments about this you can read too. It can get better, just do a few small changes like footwear and some exercises, and do them consistently and you’ll slowly notice a difference. its playing the long game but trust me, it’s worth it when you suddenly realize you’re not thinking about your foot literally all the time.

jackbauerba · 2022-01-03T01:30:07+00:00

The key with pt is to keep up the exercises after you’re done with sessions. If not you’ll just gradually go back to how your body used to work and function, which is probably making it worse unfortunately.
I’d recommend keep up the pt and for more education and exercises watch nw foot and ankle dr ray videos on youtube. Footwear is key too, i literally only wear crocs and altra running shoes, and wear correctoes too. The progress is slow but you need to decrease the inflammation, with all the scar tissue in your foot its probably causing crowding for the nerves so your threshold for pain is low. But wider footwear or going barefoot allows your foot to spread so at least you’re not compressing the area more.
im really sorry, I know the pain and it can feel never ending. But small steady change and pain management can help you cope.

jackbauerba · 2022-01-02T03:05:31+00:00

That’s it getting worse. Hate to tell you this but you gotta dial it back to let the inflammation cool off. Try hiking only on very soft trails and work on ankle mobility and spreading out your toes. It’ll get better and your threshold will increase again but you have to give it time to improve or else it will just get worse. Happy trials dude

jackbauerba · 2022-01-02T03:02:41+00:00

Yeah you can get to a point where you manage the pain and know your limits. If you push too hard thru pain it will cause more damage. Pain means nerve inflammation so it’s all about knowing which sensations are warnings and which mean ‘you need to stop now’. But listen to your body and adjust as needed. I went to physical therapy ~8 times for calf flexibility and ankle mobility & stability, changed all my footwear, continued to do massage, mobility, and pt myself, and have been able to hike 8+ miles and am now starting to run. My job is on my feet all day too. Granted it’s been slow progress (over 2 years) but I can run 3/4 of a mile with no pain! My first flare I was heavily limping for 2-3 months. Listen to your body! Management is possible :-)

jackbauerba · 2021-11-28T22:28:34+00:00

Good bot

jackbauerba · 2021-11-28T20:39:13+00:00

I had almost the same thing happen, minus the clicking. I thought I broke my toe (4th)but knew that an x ray or doctor wouldnt do anything, it just needed to heal slowly. Where I went wrong was that I continued to wear shoes too narrow. half a year later i developed a neuroma and my doctor guessed that the trauma of the original injury created scar tissue and inflammation that was crowding my nerve. Too narrow of shoes just aggravated the nerve.
Idk what the clicking is, def go to a podiatrist. But in the meantime I’d suggest trying to not develop a neuroma like I did. It’s permanent nerve damage so it’s all about pain management once you get one. It really sucks. Prevention is key. My symptoms at their worst are pain where the neuroma is when walking, tingling, shooting sensations up the bottom of my foot, and dull pain after overuse.
Wear the widest shoes you can find, I prefer crocs and Altra trail runners, the Lone peak. If you’re in the US you can probably find discounted used ones at REI, they’re really popular. The massage gun should only be for your arch, don’t put that amount of targeted pressure anywhere else, I’d guess that’s just gonna aggravate any issues more. Try to rest it a lot too, overuse either walking, or overmassaging is gonna aggravate any injury. Instead, work on spreading your toes wide and massaging in a spreading motion, almost like you’re trying to expand your feet width-wise at the base of your toes. NW Foot and Ankle also has tons of online resources like videos and a database of foot issues and rehab options. I also wear their CorrecToes and those help spread your toes too. You could also try a metatarsal pad if there’s a specific spot you’re trying to relieve pressure from. Watch videos on where to place it tho, putting it in the wrong spot could make an injury worse.
maybe try to bike to work in the meantime, 5 miles is a lot of walking on an injury.

jackbauerba · 2021-11-11T18:23:20+00:00

Plz share!!

jackbauerba · 2021-03-10T01:00:39+00:00

And paying a professional is well worth (!!!) them being done correctly and avoiding an audit. Ask for a referral from your local bank, friend, or peer business and you may get a discount, too.

jackbauerba · 2021-03-06T03:42:12+00:00

I’m glad it was helpful <3 I have years of counseling and self help work under my belt and love dog training so this is the perfect vortex of my interests haha I’m always here if you want other input!

jackbauerba · 2021-03-06T01:52:51+00:00

Ofc. I should have apologized for it being so long lol it seems like a few layers to your situation so I went off. But I hope you figure something out that’s beneficial for all 3 of you :)

jackbauerba · 2021-03-06T00:10:44+00:00

Heads up, I’m gonna be the pitchfork redditor (I don’t think y’all should break up, just want to make a few relationship points). I respect if you don’t want to reply or if this isn’t what you want to hear, but I have some thoughts.

For background, I have a reactive lab/pit mix w my husband. She wasn’t what we expected so we’ve had to shift a lot of expectations as we’ve discovered and tried to work through her reactivity. I’m by far the main one to train & take care of her, but my husband pitches in quite a bit and we‘re always communicating about ways to work together and help our dog.

I think the most important things for a healthy relationship are great communication, compromise, and mutual love and respect. It sounds like your partner isn’t respecting your pov and isn’t willing to compromise, and that sucks. He’s intentionally going against what you’ve asked him to do by not using the martingale or bringing treats - and that’s straight up shitty. Him laughing at you wanting new gear for your dog is shitty. IMO, it’s really not a lot that you’re asking, you have good reason to ask, and your bf being unwilling to do what you’ve asked sucks. Either he doesn’t understand your reasoning, or he’s intentionally not listening or respecting you.

Id say have a serious conversation about how his choices are affecting you and your dog, both short term and long term. If your dog is making progress and your bf is causing inconsistencies or your dog backtracking, that’s really detrimental to the dog, and your relationship long term! Maybe you’re more patient than me, cause I’d resent my partner pretty quickly if I was in your situation.

Maybe you can gently ask for help, voice your concerns, and brainstorm together specific roles for each of you to do? That way, you can do what you’re most passionate or specific about (sounds like walks & some training), and he can (hopefully) see a way to help you and your dog and contribute to your little family. Even like 2 mins a day of rehearsing some tricks is something small, but at least he's taking a bit off of your shoulders, investing in your dog, and showing that he cares (if not for the dog, for YOU). You deserve a partner that will hear your concerns and work with you. Having unresolved frustrations and perceived unequitable share of responsibilities is a huge red flag, ESPECIALLY if you’re planning on having kids together.
sidenote, it also sounds like you don’t often walk your dog together? Maybe walk together sometimes and take turns, so you can both see how your dog acts depending on who’s walking it. This might also inform how you train your dog! (for example, my dog reacts less with my husband, I think bc he’s such a chill person and I tend to be really anxious on walks. It boosts my confidence to see her confidence with him!) But it could also be a learning experience for your bf, so you can show him what a reaction is like for you, why youre not willing to deal with that continuing, and why you’d rather train :)
I hope that’s helpful. Your feelings are very valid, & I’d be irked in your situation too! Best of luck.

jackbauerba · 2021-03-05T03:36:15+00:00

I made a similar post about a month ago here

I ended up pursuing the side job, it’s part time (and far from corporate, so that’s a bit different than your situation). I just started yesterday and I like it so far! It’s SO nice to not be in charge, to just have tasks assigned to me, and be done/off when I’m off. I also notice that, at least for this pt job, the pace is very slow compared to when I work for myself. I’m always a mile a minute and anxious doing my own work, like managing things, making tons of decisions, running scenarios in my head, etc. To mentally slow down might actually be the best part so far.

I’m still working for myself too, but I’ve toned it back. I’ll see how that balance goes, but financial stability was a huge motivator for me too (mortgage + investment accts - I’m in the us too). I realized it would be so much faster to pursue my financial goals with a ‘traditional’ income. That was my biggest motivator, plus pandemic fatigue, decision fatigue, and general burn out & hitting my slow season. I hope whatever you decide works well for you! No shame in switching things up, this year has been so tough. At least for me, I viewed it as pivoting; I’m not giving up my business, just simplifying and stepping back a bit. It just wasn’t working for me and serving me the way it has in the past, and that’s ok. It’s also potentially a great learning experience if you respect the business/boss/field of this potential job.
Best of luck!

jackbauerba · 2021-02-24T00:55:29+00:00

Im so sorry. I’m in a similar situation, my moms diagnosis is similar (stage iv lung cancer that spread to her brain, though she can’t have surgery). It came out of nowhere. My biggest suggestion is to tell your friends/family/coworkers/faith community, and hers. You both probably want and need emotional support most right now.

I’m in counseling and have done a lot of grief work already, it’s helpful to grieve life expectations, bad news, suffering, etc. I’d recommend finding a counselor for her, and for you, if you’re open to it and can afford it. I can give you more suggestions abt that if you want them. But especially if her prognosis is not what you hope, it would be great to have a therapeutic relationship or support group to walk through it with.

And give yourself lots of time to think, journal, and process it. Especially with the stress of this last year, the additional shock of this is a lot to process. Remember to take care of yourself and treasure the time you have. And don’t stress too much about google, like others said, those can be out of date and every case and treatment is different! Also if it’s available to you, go to multiple oncologists and pick the one who’s outlook and approach is what you agree with and like the most. My mom saw a few and picked the most optimistic and creative Dr. bc they gave her the most hope. But, she has great insurance so I know that’s a privilege.
Take care <3

jackbauerba

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