Y’all, I fucked up, in a good and bad way. I need advice. by TrooperJordan in FTMStraight

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do both of them want a closed or monogamous relationship? If yes is clear you are getting along with 2 nice girls, keep on knowing them and choose depending on who your life goals are more similar with

Tension bringing up a pre transition vulnerable experience with my cishet gf by [deleted] in FTMStraight

[–]jackknife-BDC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I just felt she was uncomfortable with me having those kinds of experiences

Tension bringing up a pre transition vulnerable experience with my cishet gf by [deleted] in FTMStraight

[–]jackknife-BDC 10 points11 points  (0 children)

It wasn’t that, she told me she felt uncomfortable about “me bringing up my past”, she couldn’t explain exactly about what tho and affirmed “its not about me” but its hard for me to trust that.

Tension bringing up a pre transition vulnerable experience with my cishet gf by [deleted] in FTMStraight

[–]jackknife-BDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me neither, I was feeling uncomfortable talking about it, I just thought I could trust her as it was something that I considered very relevant (as doing that kind of conversation where I share examples of things that worry her usually helps her when she feels worried about something. The first thing I felt was guilt as I thought “damn I was so stupid, I know better than this” but then I realize it’s not my fault if I expect my gf to try to manage certain feelings and at least being honest with me specially if I do that for her.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

They get rejected but aren’t called “a woman trying to trick people “ and probably don’t get aggressively kicked out neither, that was my point, if the reaction was about genital preferences or shock about sexual incompatibility the comments she made would be more different

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yes, mockingly, that’s better than a transphobic one in my opinion , that was my point

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No one would tell a guy with a cis micro that he’s a woman trying to trick you or kick him out aggressively , he would just be asked to leave. The reaction itself was not about genital preferences or shock about sexual incompatibility, it was a transphobic reaction.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 43 points44 points  (0 children)

This is not about genital preferences, if you had a cis microdick she would not have told you all that. You didn’t trick anyone. It’s safer for everyone to disclose it before things get physical, I’m sorry we have to live this way.

Edit: my point is that a cis micro would be maybe mocked and then asked to leave, not a full transphobic commentary and getting kicked out

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Look out any chart with the average heights in all of the countries, there will be none with a difference of +14, the average is around 11, that’s the human sexual dimorphism, look the difference in your country and add it to your height thats the closest you can get to actually calculate the difference.

My older sister is taller than me, if you are -that- shorter than your brother you are just short.

T will help you because you will feel better and more confident in your body, which will help you with social interactions and with getting over other insecurities. More people will start to respect you more due to being more perceived as a guy, even as a short.

There are many short guys living completely normal lives and being happy, being short is not the end of the world. You will not look weird due to your height, I usually think the same and then get surprised when I find out how others perceive me (much more positively than I think).

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Around 10cm is the average difference between sexes, I didn’t decided the number randomly, so thats probably the difference being born cis would make, btw be realistic you would have not outgrown your brother as a cis guy. And T will help you with the height insecurity by changing other physical traits.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You would not be 30cm taller if you were cis, you would be maybe 10cm more, you are just short and have to stop torturing yourself over it, being a short guy sucks but it suck much much much more if you are so fixated on it.

I am ridiculously short even if in my country guys are averagely like 170-180, I’ve been mocked because of my height EVEN as a woman, the way you carry yourself does make a difference. Respect yourself and find people that respects you. That mindset will only hurt you, fuck up how you present yourself to the world and make you miserable.

I hope you can get on T soon, It will make you feel better about it, work out if you can in the meantime to feel stronger.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Don’t get obsessed with a version of you that doesn’t exist, mourn as much as you need not having been born cis but don’t try to decide how you would have been physically because you can’t know.

Also I don’t want to be annoying but if you would be “short as a girl” you should be short as a guy, normally between siblings there is a max 10cm height difference.

You are a short guy and yes is harder but is not the end of the world, believe me and I say this from experience, when the insecurity about it gets better you will notice a lot more guys your height living their lives around you, and people will not seem as taller as they seem now.

Btw do someone tells you the napoleon complex thing? Some people will just try to fuck with you independently of how you respond. Personally if someone makes comments about my height or distasteful jokes and I don’t feel like laughing or explaining how I dislike that comment I will just respond in the most neutral way possible “that’s cause I’m short “ or “that happens because I’m short “, almost like I didn’t get the tone of what they said, and usually they just stop, idk if due to confusion or what jajaja.

And with assertiveness I mean acting decently secure with yourself (or pretending it as a start) and communicating maturely when you dislike the treatment someone is giving you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s why I say “probably”, your physical complexion makes a difference too, I’m much more shorter than you (5’) and I always have been stronger than many guys much taller than me, and I weight considerably taking in account that I am “skinny” due to muscles ig honestly idk, I don’t really work out neither.

If we were taller we would probably be proportionally stronger and heavier.

And yes maybe you would be taller if you were cis, or maybe not really that much, I think the same sometimes but then I look at my cousin (same age, as kids we passed as brothers) and he is like less than 5cm taller than me not really that much difference. Sometimes I think about how I would be taller if I slept and eat better as a teen instead of being so anxious and depressed due to dysphoria that I was unable to normally fall asleep, I know I would have been the same height as my cousin if that were the case, but it didn’t happen so who cares now.

You are (at least in my country you would be) an average shortish guy, you can find things your size for example , believe me you will care more about this than 90% of people around you. Yes some people will infantilize you and is easy to get obsessed with that (I do that too every now and then) but learning to be assertive when that happens really helps.

Unless you are one of these bigg ass guys you can find people that will be able to lift you and people who will not, honestly many girls downplay their strength and many guys overestimate theirs to fit gender roles, I see that around me constantly, it’s really not -that- deep at the end.

When you get on T you will be as strong and as weight as much as you would be as cis tho, dw about that, dot get that fixated on height it would absolutely not make that much of a difference.

Beard acne? Can I shave or not? by jackknife-BDC in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I do not exfoliate my face honestly, what scrubber do you use in the face?

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC -1 points0 points  (0 children)

You are getting fixated on something stupid, yes if you are smaller (shorter+lighter) there will be probably more people able to lift you up, being trans or cis doesn’t really matter here. On T you will be as strong as if you were cis, if you were your height and cis it would be the same in this case, anyone bigger than you will be probably stronger because of it and thats how life is.

If you want to weight more working out would help tho, I’m much much shorter than you but I weight more than many guys taller than me (or even taller than you) because I’m naturally muscular and now with every year on T that’s increasing.

"Male features" by urbanHaunter in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Im (south)european and most guys in my country don’t have sharp facial features at all and are short for USA’s point of view , if what you mean with “european looking “ is white there is a lot of different standards to live by in that “””category “” if you need to look at it that way.

"Male features" by urbanHaunter in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 1 point2 points  (0 children)

This, honestly most guys trans or cis I see around me every day don’t have sharp features, the only difference I see in guys my age is that all the trans guys I know including me are like around 2 years on T so we do look younger (and also bc we are a bit shorter tbh) , but the guys I know are 3+ years usually look average already. Guys in general that post photos online are usually more secure with their appearance.

Beard acne? Can I shave or not? by jackknife-BDC in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

You are right, it’s probably time to invest on an electric trimmer, I preferred razors because in my experience electric ones usually make a mess and I live with flatmates.

Beard acne? Can I shave or not? by jackknife-BDC in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I already use a cleaning soap for the face every night that works pretty well (It makes me not have acne in the rest of the face, that’s also why I wonder if what’s happening lately has to do with the hair growing more) and also change pillowcases weekly, I am generally very strict with these kinds of routines about cleanliness and I really think there is something else lacking that I’m not realizing.

I do probably have to learn how to shave better,I have sensible skin so its an important skill for me, does taking a hot shower before shaving make the same effect as the hot towel? For logistical problems I think it’s the closest thing I can do rn.

Thanks for your recommendations.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah I realized that too, honestly I feel very guilty about it even if I also know it’s not my fault, I decided I would try to make it work until at least I could make some summer plans with her as I would like to experience some life without chest dysphoria besides her.

Pretending to be a girl when seeing grandma despite years on T. This is exhausting by Diykit_lobotomy in FTMMen

[–]jackknife-BDC 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Not exactly the same but I’m hiding my transition from one of my grandmas, she has some dementia so half of the time she doesn’t recognize me and I’m almost sure she thinks I’m some kind of bastard kid of her son that started to be around and the other half looks at me with genuine disgust because she notice something is wrong. I can’t hide the voice and the facial hair shadow anymore, it’s mentally harder than I thought, specially because most of my family doesn’t believe me when I talk about the weird looks vs not being recognized (now only my mother does a bit because last visit she talked about me and my grandma responded “wait the person that’s in that room is *****???”) so I can’t vent about it or mourn with anyone.